I hold you and lose my senses

Help wanted

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 01:56:10 GMT

Hello guys, I don't usually use this journal for personal stuff much, but I need to recruit some help for a project.

Okay, so Riku and I, among other people, are currently working on an amateur visual novel series called Lyrics of the Lost. I'm writing the shonen-ai version of the story, which is shaping up to be an epic. Riku is doing character designs and the like. We've also got our composer and a programmer for the game.

We need some help though. We want to make an alternate storyline where the main character is a girl, and we'd like to find someone new to write that story. We also desperately need background artists. It'd be best if the writer was familiar with dating sims and those sorts of things.

Anyone willing to lend a helping hand or know where I could go to find some good writers and bg artists? We're looking for someone who's going to be dedicated to working on this, and I'll give you a fair warning and say it can get pretty stressful at times. ^^;

Anyone interested?

My lovelies~

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 01:14:47 GMT

Hello~! 'S been a while since I've posted anything directly to my journal, huh? Yeah, I'll get back to that, promise ^^; just got a lot of awesome projects to work on (and you'll be so glad I did when they are up for your reading pleasure).

Anyway! I think it's about time I got to know the people on my friend's list, don't you? It's time time for me to learn about ya'll some, so....let's go?

Answer me some questions lovelies. &hearts;

1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favourite Film:
5. Favourite Song or Album:
6. Favourite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favourite memory of us?
14. What is your favourite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favourite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

Fanfiction Index [Incomplete]

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:51:05 GMT

Well, the subject says it all, huh? This is an index for all of my fanfictions. Some of the links go to other journal posts, links to my longer-running chapter fics go to fanfiction.net, and then the random fics I've got floating around dA are also listed here. Hopefully this will be of use to Anyone who's looking around my journal.

Axis Powers Hetalia-

Title: A Lack of Money is the Root of All Evil
Author/Artist: Sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): America, mostly, though Liet somehow stole most of the dialogue. Russia is mentioned, too.
Rating: PG
Warnings: OOC, probably. My first Heta!Fic so... yeah. Also, I have no beta, so please feel free to nit-pick my spelling and grammar, it's good for me.
Summary: America has realized that in order to be a hero in this world, you need money. Too bad he's fresh out of that.
[link]

Title: Where You Stand
Author/Artist: Sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): TurkeyxGreece
Rating: R, or something in that general area of rating.
Warnings: Um. Porny. Hate sex that could really use a dash more hate D: Talk of previous sexual encounters. Probably OOC, too. Unbeta-ed, to top it off. Nit-picking is love <3
Summary: After the Greco-Turkish war, Turkey decides to re-educate Greece on how he should behave around him.
[link]

Title: Thank You Infinitely
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): France/England
Rating: Pg-PG-13 max
Warnings: OOC big time... I'm sorry, but I just can't picture France being his usual self while under Nazi/Vichy rule D: And Un-beta'd.
Summary: "I'll fight for you, even if I have to do it alone."
[link]

Title: Sleep Now
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Prussia/England (well, sort of. I saved it at the last minute.)
Rating: PG.
Warnings: Prussia isn't as much of a hooligan here as he should be. A bit of France-bashing in the first few paragraphs, thanks to Iggy. Un-beta'd.
Summary: In which Gilbert tries to get Arthur to take a break.
[link]

Title: His Worries
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Germany+Prussia (if you look at this through a distorted lense, it's almost not platonic?)
Rating: PG.
Warnings: Gilbert's big brother side is showing. Some HRE=Germany hints.
Summary: What happens to a country when it's dissolved, anyway? Does it die, or just wander off?

Title: Virtues
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Germany+Prussia
Rating: PG.
Warnings: Gilbert's big brother side is still showing. Some roughhousing.
Summary: He knew it was coming, but it still hurt to hear.
[link]

Title: Three Things Toris Saw (And the One Thing He Wish He'd Missed)
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): France/Poland, Lithuania
Rating: PG13, yeah...
Warnings: Pervy France and his pervy King. Over-protective!Liet. Slightly OOC, perhaps? Really pointless? And there are probably historical inaccuracies here, there's not much out there on the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth's first free election. Makes me kinda sad, really. Unbeta'd.
Summary: In which Toris tries to protect Feliks' purity and--just barely--suceeds.
[link]

Title: Warped
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Russia/Lithuania, mentions of Estonia and Latvia
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Some vague descriptions of violence, as always with Russia/Liet. ~~Janie's~~Liet's got a gun. What is love? Well, you'll only find the question here, not the answer. A bit of OOC and unbeta'd. Nit-picking is love!
Summary: Before Toris can do anything, he must first break away, because this cannot go on.
[link[

Title: It's Warm
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Russia + Cuba
Rating: Um...PG for alcohol?
Warnings: A nondrinker talking about booze D:
Summary: Russia is hesitant to drink something that isn't his beloved Vodka, but he's also hesitant to let a good drink go to waste.

Title: Enough
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): US and UK, some Canada
Rating: G for Alfred breaking his own laws.
Warnings: Possibly faulty characterization, un-beta'd.
Summary: America can't help England during this fight, but that doesn't mean Alfred doesn't want to.
[link]

Title: Wash It Out With Wine
Author/Artist: Sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): France, with some Prussia and Austria
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Somewhat gory descriptions, blatant referencing to Charles Dicken's A Tale of Two Cities. Un-beta'd
Summary: He has disowned them, they are not his children. So why does he feel what isn't his?
[link]

Title: International Cooperation
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): England, France, Austria, Prussia, and a dash of Russia.
Rating: like....pg13 for France.
Warnings: France does his usual groping thing. Threat of becoming one with Russia. Failure to comply to the prompt D:
Summary: If this concert was one of pianos and not people, Austria himself might've been the first to put the poor instrument out of it's misery.

Title: Hope for a Nation
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): America
Rating: G as G can be.
Warnings: A straight shot of Christianity. If you're going to be offended by that, well then, you've been warned.
Summary: Today his people are praying for him, so he in turn will pray for them.
[link]

Title: Russia/Latvia high school AU series
Author: sayasama
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character/Pairing: Russia/Latvia, some England and Sealand on the side.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Teacher!Russia, Student!Latvia. Use of human names. Kirkland abuse. un-beta'd.
Summary: There are plenty of reasons why they shouldn't, but the one reason they should is more important.

1. This Cannot be Good 2. In Which Ivan is Made to Feel Increasingly Awkward in His Own Home 3. The Sin is in Drunkenness

Title: A House for a House
Author/Artist: moi~
Character(s) or Pairing(s): America, Canada, England and France are mentioned in passing.
Rating: G
Warnings: Stuff burns. A swear or two. Odd, possibly OOC characterization. Majorly unbeta'd and just finished yesterday.
Summary: The Battle of York and the Burning of Washington. Darn, those brothers like arson.
[link]

Title: Yeah, this city does that to ya.
Genre: smut
Pairing(s): US/UK
Rating/Warnings: M/NC-17/whichever
Summary: Arthur reaaaaally likes Alfred's Boston accent. A lot. Fill for this here request.
[link]

D.Gray-Man-

Title: Black World Washed White
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Kanda/Allen, Lavi-->Allen, Lenalee-->Allen, Tyki-->Allen Lavi/OC
Rating: M
Warnings: Pedophilia, rape, trite concepts, un-beta'd.
Summary: Allen is impossibly fake, Kanda knows, but that doesn't mean he's interested in the real Allen Walker. But when he sees, truly sees what's behind the lies, will he accept it or wish to destroy it?
[link]

Title: Opposites
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Kanda/Allen, Tyki/Lavi, Lenalee/Rhode
Rating: M
Warnings: AU, some violence, sex. Not nearly as fluffy as the summary would have you believe.
Summary: They say opposites attract, and with exorcists and Noahs dating left and right, that's not too hard to believe.
[link]

Title: A Promise is Made to be Kept
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Kanda/Allen, Tyki/Lavi, Lenalee/Rhode
Rating: M
Warnings: AU, some violence, sex. The continuation of Opposites. Currently on Hiatus with no signs of coming back soon, so read at your own risk...
Summary: It's been years since the lovers have seen each other, and now they can only meet in secret or on the battlefield! Then again, it never hurt to have allies on the enemies' side. Can Lavi and Lenalee's connections on the Earl's side help them win the war? You'd better believe it.
[link]

Title: Less than Innocent, More than Like
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): LaviYuu, OC-->Kanda
Rating: M
Warnings: Slight OOC, violence, some misinformation, an oddly well-recieved OC, molest.
Summary: Lavi's only been with the Order for a few weeks and he's already bored! So he starts a "game" with another new exorcist, one who'd rather be left to himself. Too bad that "game" leads to Kanda being cursed and Lavi becoming more human than he has any right to be.
[link]

Title: Running from Sunrise, Chasing the Moon
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Cross/Allen, Tyki/Allen, LaviYuu, eventual Cross/Komui
Rating: M
Warnings: OOC, pedophilia en masse, sexual content, violence, other miscellaneous crimes.
Summary: Cross is the sun Allen can't escape, and honestly he doesn't really want to. At least, he didn't before he met Tyki. Can he stand to chose his new lover over his master? You can't run from the sun and you can't catch the moon, but that never stopped anyone from trying.
[link]

Title: Death is in Love with Us
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): LaviYuu, LaviAre
Rating: PG13
Warnings: OOC, not much in the way of fanservice.
Summary: Lavi learns quite suddenly that he's going to die in a month, and his only thought is that he has to confess to his long-time crush and best friend before he kicks the bucket. But there's a shinigami out there who is dying to get in the way of that happening. Mainly because this little death god is harboring quite the crush himself.
[link]

Title: The Flower and Willow World
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): LaviYuu, TykiKanda
Rating: PG13
Warnings: OOC, AU, historically innaccurate because oh hey, those geisha are men! Some nondescript sexitiemz.
Summary: Sold to pay his drunkard father's debts, Kanda finds himself in an male geisha house. He also finds himself in a romance with the doctor's apprentice next door.
[link]

Title: Twisted Carnival
Author/Artist: sayasama
Character(s) or Pairing(s): TykiAre, LaviYuu
Rating: M
Warnings: AU, sex, prostitution, murder, other crimes.
Summary: "The Blind Man" is a murderer who goes around killing male prostitutes, but one day he gets caught in the act--and blackmailed by a potential victim! Allen will give Tyki back the evidence he's left behind if Tyki promises to get him out of the brothel he's being forced to work at. Naturally, things do not progress smoothly.
[link]

Hug project!

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 21:09:24 GMT

'Ello lovelies~! YES! So, Saya has been very much enveloped in a new fandom, the Hetalia fandom, to be specific. But it seems that the wonderful Himaruya-sensei has been having a hard time of it lately, and so...! Hug project time! Saya hopes that even her poor drawings skills might be able to bring a smile to Sensei's face!

So fanart post? That's a new one, eh?

Less than Innocent, More than Like 37/?

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 03:38:43 GMT

Title: Less Than Innocent, More than Like
Pairing: LaviYuu
Rated: PG for the moment...Just because Lavi's a bad boy >:]
Warnings: Well, it's yaoi...but you already knew that, surely. No spoilers, because this is all speculation about their past. Just don't take this like it's really their past, and you're good.
Disclaimer: Saya owns the play, but not the actors. They belong to Hoshino.
Summary: Lavi hasn't even been in the Order for two weeks, and he's already bored with it! Lucky for him a very interesting new exorcist comes in around the same time. Will Kanda be simple entertainment? Or will unfortunate circumstances force Kanda to stay close to Lavi?

Whoo, we're nearing the end of the Japan Arc! Lately Saya's been wondering why she didn't just post links to the ffnet page with this on it...really, this is sort of troublesome... but you guys leave good comments, so its worth it <3

37. Decisions, Decisions
While it didn’t make the situation any better, Kanda was relieved to find that he’d fought off larger numbers of akuma on his own than he was facing now. He could’ve destroyed them all on his own in a few hours, and since he had backup the clean-up time should be even quicker. But he couldn’t be so hopeful because he knew that just on the other side of what was left of the barrier there was a nation of akuma just waiting for him.
With a longsuffering sigh Kanda leapt into the air, striking down akuma and pushing off of their shells just before they exploded in order to propel himself further into the air. It was as he was coming down to land on a rooftop (for it was significantly closer to him than the ground was) that he saw two people running down the street, right toward the battlefield. For a moment Kanda was reminded of that mission he’d taken in Ethiopia, when the girl in the village had been killed because she’d been out during an akuma attack. That alarmed feeling grew worse when he saw just who the two were. Kanda jumped to the ground and ran toward them, forgetting about his job for just a moment.
Just because he’d forgotten that he had akuma to slay, didn’t mean the akuma had forgotten they had exorcists to kill. The moment Kanda had turned his attention elsewhere they trained their guns on him. Lavi was not oblivious to this; he was also not oblivious to the reason why Kanda was turning his back on the enemy. It was such a careless move, especially for Kanda, clearly there had to be a good reason for it.
Quickly he used his fire seal to destroy the akuma that dared to attack his comrade while his back was turned. However even the roaring fire that ignited behind him didn’t deter Kanda from his task. Oh, this was going to be difficult indeed. The three of them were already pitifully outnumbered as it was, Lavi wasn’t sure he could protect Kanda and himself at the same time. He was going to have to try though, because there were civilians involved, too.
Annoyed with the situation, Lavi swung his hammer again and conjured up a second pillar of flames.
“What the hell are you two doing here?!” Kanda shouted as he ran toward his idiot brother and his idiot childhood friend. He faintly realized that there was still a battle raging behind him, but he hardly cared. Hayate was still trying to drag Yori back home, but that clearly wasn’t getting him anywhere.
“Yuu, I know I can’t help you fight but at least just let me stay nearby! You guys can’t fight wounded, so let me treat your wounds when they get too serious!” Yori demanded, knowing that he would not be allowed to fight not matter what he did. Still, at least if he was here he could do something, maybe stop one of them from dying of blood loss or drag them off the battlefield when they could no longer fight. At the very least, they wouldn’t have to drag each other across the town just to get medical treatment.
“No! Now get the hell away from here!” Kanda couldn’t even believe Yori was stupid enough to suggest it. Clearly he could not stay in this dangerous place. He had to get far away and fast. “The more civilians there are around, the harder it is to do my job! You’re a liability!” Harsh words, but Kanda couldn’t think of anything he could say that would get Yori to back off for the time being.
For a moment, it seemed like those words had done the trick, but of course Yori was just too stubborn to accept that and leave.
“I won’t leave! I can’t stand just sitting in some safe place doing nothing! I need to be out here, where I feel like I can do something if I’m needed!”
“You can’t do anything here though!”
“There has to be something!”
“Please just go!” Kanda wanted to flinch away from the nearly pleading tone of his voice. He didn’t mean to sound like he was upset by this but he was. His brother (who he did love despite all the torture) and his closest friend were both in mortal danger and yet Yori wanted to stick around. Kanda remembered the people he’d seen die by akuma bullets, he remembered the rooms of the dead that he’d lived in for the past year, he remembered too many morbid things and he didn’t want to let his family and Yori become a part of those memories. They were supposed to be a reprieve from the bad thoughts that haunted him.
“Look… you’ll die if you stay here. You aren’t like me; you can’t live through a shot. So… just go.” Kanda found it hard to look Yori in the face while he was nearly pleading like this (‘nearly’ only because Yuu refused to admit that he was indeed pleading), but he was able to look up long enough to see that this seemed to be getting to Yori better than yelling ever did. Using his concern for human life to overtake his pride, he decided to land the final blow.
“Please leave… Don’t make me worry about you.” Somehow he managed to say this while looking Yori in the eye, and he knew he had won. Yori scowled and cursed, but it was clear in his eyes that he felt bad just thinking about how much worry he might be causing Kanda. Yuu felt like he’d just done something a bit underhanded.
“…Fine, Yuu, fine, I’ll go, but only ‘cause you went and made that face…” Yori murmured, and his scowl deepened as he turned to leave.
“Thank goodness someone managed to talk some sense into this kid,” Hayate mumbled as he grabbed Yori and prepared to run him back home. With a relieved sigh Kanda turned from the two, only to startle a little when he came face-to-face with a fire serpent. Well, that explained why they hadn’t been attacked, Kanda had thought it was strange that nothing had tried to kill him.
“They’re leaving, Lavi,” Marie informed the redhead of the situation so that he would get the snake out of Kanda’s way. Lavi let the flames of his invocation die in response, heaving a sigh of relief as he did so. Now that Kanda was back in the fight things would get easier.
But of course, it was the moment that Lavi and Kanda thought the two were in the clear that something went wrong. It was something Lavi, even with his all-seeing eye, hardly noticed until it was clearly too late. Creeping along the side of buildings and skulking in the shadows was a thin level 2 akuma that looked something like a manta ray. It seemed to have been waiting for Lavi’s fire serpent to diminish so that it could attack the two he was protecting. The redhead grit his teeth in frustration. The invocation he was holding now was fading and he was going to have to start another attack before he could do any damage. To make matters worse Kanda had already gotten through the gaps opening up in the dying fire serpent and had started to fight again. Lavi wanted to ask Marie for help, but he was more than busy with keeping the hordes of akuma at bay. The akuma had gotten the opening it had been waiting for.
Lavi knew that even if he were to immediately release another attack it wouldn’t hit in time to be of any use, he knew his own timing better than anyone. Still, that was Kanda’s brother and his friend, Lavi had to try to save them, he wouldn’t be able to face Yuu otherwise. So pushing himself to be quicker, Lavi released his fire seal anew, simultaneously shouting to the other about the impending danger. Yuu was pretty quick on his feet; hopefully he could make it in time if Lavi’s attack didn’t.
Over the fierce roar of fire Kanda hardly heard Lavi’s warning. But he did, and once again he turned his back to the enemy without regard for his own personal safety. Something in the back of his mind told him not to make a habit of that behavior; it was going to kill him some day. He hardly cared about self-preservation or being careful though, two important people were in danger.
“You two, run the hell faster!” Kanda shouted when he saw the akuma Lavi had shouted about for himself. It was too close to them, he was sure he wouldn’t make it if they didn’t buy themselves some time. Thankfully Hayate and Yori had good flight instincts and knew better than to look back when Kanda told them to run faster. However, whether they actually put any distance between themselves and the akuma, Kanda couldn’t tell.
Grinding his teeth, Kanda kicked off the ground with greater force, propelling himself farther with each step. At this rate he might actually make it, but he had to be sure of their safety. With a wide swing of Mugen, Kanda released his first illusion and Hell’s Insects shot through the air, attacking the akuma. It thrashed wildly about, trying to break loose of the deadly insects, but to no avail. In a last-ditch effort to do some harm the akuma started randomly shooting off bullets from its tail.
And that was when everything went wrong.
One of the bullets actually hit its mark. The poisonous bullet just barely grazed the skin of Yori’s forearm, but already Kanda could see stars forming on the older man’s wrists and hands, slowly creeping up his skin. Vaguely he registered the explosion the akuma made when it was finally destroyed. The insects came back to his blade just as he reached the boy, who’d been too stunned by the introduction of poison to his system to move. Because the wound was so shallow, not much poison had made it into Yori so the stars were spreading slower than normal. Despite that the poison was already close to his elbow.
He was going to die. Kanda had no idea how he was going to deal with this. Had Fate sent him back here just to make things right with Yori and then lead the man to his death? It was cruel, Kanda couldn’t take this. There had to be a way to save his life, surely there was one.
Kanda thought quickly but came up with only one solution that would save Yori’s life.
“Yori!” Kanda got the shocked man’s attention by sharply calling his name. He was so transfixed by the way his arm was changing colors, by the fact that he was facing death that he couldn’t find it in himself to pay attention to anything else. Still, he managed to rip his eyes away from his arm and look at Yuu. It might be the last time he ever saw the boy, after all.
“Choose quickly, lose your arm or your life.” For a moment Yori could hardly comprehend what Kanda was asking. Kanda was annoyed by this, they didn’t have any time to spare, if the poison reached his heart he was dead! “Quickly Yori!” Kanda shouted again, raising Mugen to Yori’s arm as if to show what he was going to do. Yori’s eyes widened in understanding.
“My arm! Cut it the hell off!” If it would let him live another day then Yori didn’t care if he had to lose his right arm; he was left-handed anyway. With the last of his strength he raised his arm into the air; Kanda was quick to slice clean through it. He almost felt like vomiting at the ease with which Mugen sliced through flesh, it felt nothing at all like cutting through machinery. The blood that spilled out of the wound only contributed to the feeling.
Yori nearly went into shock from the immense pain that shot through his body. He dropped to his knees weakly and just stared before him with wide eyes. He couldn’t even muster up a scream. Yuu’s grip around Mugen became shaky when he saw this reaction, saw the blood and the way it drained out of severed flesh- so human and real. He could hardly believe that he had just done that.
“He’s gonna bleed out!” Kanda said his body running on autopilot since his mind was too horrified with what he’d done to think properly. “Hayate get him out of here quickly and make him stop bleeding! Just… just make it stop!” Kanda couldn’t stand to look at the blood any longer and ran back into battle, hoping he could make the lingering feeling of cutting through human flesh and bone vanish if he destroyed enough akuma.
Hayate was more horrified than anyone else by what he saw, but was quick to work to save his friend, lest he die of blood loss. He faintly wondered what Kanda had meant by his last statement; at that moment, the repetition of that phrase made it seem like he was talking about more than Yori’s bleeding. Maybe he wanted this battle to stop, or the war, or everything, Hayate couldn’t tell. He just knew that he’d never seen Yuu look quite so panicked and undone.
With speed he hadn’t known he possessed, the eldest son carried Yori out of the dangerous street and into the nearest untouched building. He used his shirt to wrap the wound so that the bleeding would stop and prayed that Yori would hold out until the battle was over and they could get him fixed up properly.
000
Kanda had not come out of his room since everyone had returned home from the fight. His official reason was that he was packing; they would be leaving the next day to meet the enemy head-on outside of the town’s barriers. But everyone knew that he didn’t have nearly enough with him to excuse this. Another thing just about everyone knew was the he wasn’t really avoiding them as a whole so much as he was avoiding Yori.
Yori was a strong guy both physically and mentally, and even though he’d suffered such blood loss, he’d been determined to be up and moving by the next day. When the battle had been won the Tiedoll unit brought Yori to one of the Order’s medical teams that were stationed in the town for the finders, so he’d had the best medical care. It had been very difficult to get Yuu away from the then-unconscious boy; at least it had been until Yori woke up. Kanda went conspicuously missing after that.
It was clear to see that he felt like he’d done something wrong. He’d save Yori’s life, sure, but he’d also debilitated him. Yori was just fine with that, he wasn’t sure how much he needed his right arm for, but he’d find a way around it. He was just grateful to be alive, and he didn’t understand how Kanda could be so upset over something that seemed so minor.
So one by one everyone went into the room he shared with Hayate and tried to get him to come out. He seemed to see no reason why he should, and refused. So when the entire family had failed (even Naoko, and she’d really pulled out all the stops, too), the friends (or at least the ones who assumed themselves his friends) moved in.
Lavi dodged a flying pillow as he walked through the door. That was such a prissy girl move, he thought, he could hardly believe Kanda had done it. He was more or less expecting to be speared upon entry, or at the very least he was expecting something that hurt more than a pillow.
“Good evenin’ to you too, Yuu-chan.”
“Sleeping. Go the hell away.”
“You haven’t even had dinner yet, no way are you sleeping now.”
Lavi heard a sigh from Kanda and the boy sat up in his futon. His glare said ‘leave now and I’ll spare your life’ but the redhead had never heeded such warnings and so walked right up to the boy and sat down beside him. Kanda attempted another glare, but just decided it was a pointless effort and sighed again.
“Yuu, we’re leaving tomorrow, shouldn’t you be spending tonight with your family?” Who knew when the next chance to come here would be? Kanda should’ve been making the most of it.
“…”
“And judging by the way you’re reacting to what happened, I can assume you’ll never come back here again unless the war ends, right? So you really should be out there enjoying your-“
“Of course I’m never coming back!” Kanda said, almost indignant at the idea of returning. “Everywhere exorcists go, destruction follows. Hayate and Yori could’ve been killed because our presence attracted more akuma to the town! If being here means putting this place in danger then I’ll never come back!” Yuu didn’t want to take the chance of letting something like this happen again. He knew he shouldn’t have broken the rules to come here; rules were put in place for a reason. He should’ve just stayed outside of the town and worked on depleting the Earl’s forces from outside of the barrier. Instead he’d selfishly endangered everyone and he was too weak to stop Yori from getting hurt.
Yuu wasn’t strong enough to be here. He’d thought he was getting stronger, but instead the Order had made him soft. He was trusting people that weren’t related to him by blood with his life. He was fighting side-by-side with a schizophrenic redhead and hoping to God that the two-faced asshole would have his back. He was fighting an enemy he couldn’t see, one that hid in human shells, he couldn’t afford to trust and yet he did. He was foolish and weak.
Weak. He couldn’t protect anyone. Kanda thought back to his first mission; he couldn’t protect himself and Lavi had almost died because of his weakness. He thought about his mission with Lenalee in Ethiopia; he couldn’t protect himself or the innocent. That girl ended up dead and he’d gotten shot. He remembered the past year of battle; he’d been too weak to protect his own teammate, and Daisya ended up suffering horrific burns and nearly died. Then of course there was yesterday; he couldn’t even protect the people who meant the most to him, and Yori had been shot, nearly died, and ended up without a right arm. Kanda was too weak to protect anything.
Right, he was too weak to protect, he had too much to protect already. The only way to solve this problem was to stay far away from anything he could hurt, and make sure that he didn’t get attached to anything more. He was in over his head as it was, so until he had the strength to protect everything, he couldn’t care about anything at all. Then it wouldn’t matter as much when he lost it.
Lavi gave Yuu a moment to go through with his introspection, before speaking again.
“Of course things get ruined when we’re around, Yuu-chan. We’re exorcists, we’re magnets for trouble. Honestly, we’re not here to save anyone, we’re not new wave messiahs. We just destroy whatever opposes us, what opposes ‘God.’ If you think of it that way, then the fact that you managed to save someone is a miracle in and of itself. You might be upset because Yori was hurt, but he’s just grateful to be alive. Shouldn’t you be grateful that he’s alive, too?”
Kanda gave Lavi a sideways glance at this. The idea was an interesting one, and it went right along with what he was just thinking. If he was just a destroyer then he couldn’t be expected to protect anything. If he failed to save something then it wouldn’t be a problem because it simply wasn’t his job to. It would be something of an achievement when he did. He’d forgotten to be grateful that Yori was alive too; he was just being too pessimistic about it. It wasn’t like he’d forgotten that Yori could’ve died, it was just he was so hung up over that possibility that he’d neglected the fact that it hadn’t happened.
Mulling these new thoughts over in his head, Kanda looked away from Lavi and to the floor. What was the right way to think? Was this it, or was he just thinking whatever was convenient for him? Why did it have to be so difficult to determine these sorts of things anyway?
Lavi could tell that he’d had some sort of affect on Kanda, but he didn’t know if he’d done something good or bad. He also realized that Kanda probably wasn’t going to say anything more to him no matter how long he sat there. So Lavi got up, pat Yuu on the head (amazingly he didn’t lose his hand), and left.
“So you’re just destroyers, hm? Gotta say that’s a sort of depressing fate.” Yori was leaning on the wall by the door just outside of Kanda’s room. His one arm rested over his abdomen; if he had both arms they probably would’ve been crossed over his chest. “Is it my turn yet?”
Lavi shrugged in response. “Guess so. Ya still look like shit though, white as a ghost. You sure you wanna show him such an unhealthy face?”
“Well he hasn’t seen me since I woke up; I think pale and shitty-looking is better than unconscious. Maybe he’ll feel better seeing me for himself, you know? Walkin’ and talkin’ and living.”
“Or maybe he’ll see the missing arm and spiral into a guilt-induced depression.”
“Can’t be much worse than it is now, right?”
“Point taken. Good luck then.” Lavi put his hand on Yori’s shoulder for a moment in something that almost seemed like a gesture of peace. It slipped off as the redhead made his way down the hall. Yori watched him leave for a moment before entering the room.
“Ya know Yuu, only little kids would go to bed this early.”
“I’m not in bed anymore.”
“Do you still want to be?”
“Yes.” Kanda wasn’t really out of bed, in Yori’s opinion; he was still sitting on top of it. But well, what did that matter? Yori walked between Yuu and Hayate’s futons, then picked up the quilt covering it, sat down beside Kanda, and pulled the thick cover over their heads. Yuu let out a surprised sound and scowled in Yori’s direction. They were way too old to be sitting under the covers like this. When they were kids they used to hide under the covers when they stayed up past their bedtime to talk.
“Well, you’re back in bed now. Feel better?”
“I feel foolish.” Kanda tried to fix his messed up hair for a moment before deciding it was a pointless gesture; every move he made would only make it worse. With a halfhearted glare he stared at Yori. For a moment he forgot that the man was injured; Yori was sitting to his right and it was hard to see under the thick quilt. It was his fault, certainly there must’ve been another way to save Yori, if he’d only been calm and thought logically…!
“Yuu, I know you’re blaming yourself for what happened, but honestly, you saved me so could you go a little easier on yourself?”
“I’ve had this same conversation five times today already so I hope you’ve got something new to say. And I’m alright now, really”-Kanda pouted and then added-“Not that there was anything wrong in the first place.”
Yori laughed at Yuu’s stubborn attitude and pat him on the head as though he was still a little kid. “Man, that’s not fair. I wanted to be the one that said all the cool lines that made you feel better! Seriously, it’s so unfair that Red gets to be so close to you, he’s only known you for two years!” Yori sounded rather indignant, and Kanda couldn’t quite understand why. He also didn’t see how he was close to Lavi at all. That stupid rabbit just had no concept of personal space or manners.
“We aren’t close! I hate that guy!” Kanda declared, because he definitely hated that two-faced fake of a redhead. Definitely.
“Really? Then why does he call you Yuu-chan? And do you always let people you hate kiss you? I don’t recall ever being invited to.”
“W-wha-what?! I-“
“No use hidin’ it, ‘cause it was definitely you yelling “Not in my mother’s house!” at him, which by the way makes it seem like you’d be okay with him kissing you as long as you aren’t here.”
Kanda opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it and covered it with his hand. His face was so hot that he was sure he must be glowing red or something. He had not wanted anyone to ever see anything like that, and it was made all the more embarrassing because Yori of all people had seen it.
And what was that last comment about, anyway? It was clearly unnecessary.
“I don’t want him to do that stuff, he does it on his own! It’s always a surprise attack with that guy! And I’ve been telling him not to call me Yuu-chan since the day we met but he just won’t stop! He’s infuriating and I hate him!”
But if he really hated Lavi then he wouldn’t have let him in the room, and he wouldn’t have listened to him talk. He wouldn’t have cared about a thing Lavi had said, he’d just brush it all off. He wouldn’t let Lavi off so easily for doing all of those rude and indecent things either, if he hated him so much. Kanda didn’t want to admit it, but he sort of didn’t hate Lavi. It was unnerving to even think that he could like that insane, schizo, rabbit brat.
“Surprise attacks, hm? I’m sure they are. But, we’re very off topic right now. If you’re feeling better, why won’t you come out of this room? Everyone wants to see you before you leave.”
“I…” Well Kanda didn’t know why he didn’t want to leave. He knew if he did he’d just get upset, and he was tired of feeling anything. He’d gone so long with only feeling things like anger and indignation that it was exhausting to feel anything out of that range. His family made him soft, they made him happy, but those were two very useless emotions. He’d miss them when they were gone.
Kanda just didn’t want to leave. If he just sat in his room, maybe time wouldn’t move forward? He knew that wouldn’t work, that he was just wasting time, but still.
“…I get it Yuu, no need to say a thing,” Yori said; he sounded so sure of himself, Kanda wondered why. It was as if he’d analyzed the silence and had managed to get something out of it. Yori had always been able to do that though, he supposed it wasn’t anything terribly new.
“But really though, staying in here is just a waste of time for you. You should enjoy our company while you can.”
“Didn’t I tell you to say something new?” Kanda muttered, though he didn’t really care anymore. He’d gotten to the point where he’d leave this room just to make everyone stop telling him to.
“Something new, then? Hm…” Yori thought for a minute, deciding that a completely unrelated subject would be best. He quickly decided on one and went with it. “You’re still growing out your hair, I see. I’d have thought you would have cut it by now.”
“Well, there was just no need to cut it.” Before Kanda had left home, he hadn’t been allowed to cut his hair. Well, if he really wanted to he could have, but his mother and his sister loved to play with it and they got so upset any time he said anything about cutting it. Naoko had even made him promise to never cut it once, and she could talk him into promising her the world, if she wanted to. She just couldn’t get him to leave his room.
“You haven’t cut yours, either,” Kanda observed, “There was never any reason for you to wear yours long.”
“Of course there was a reason, I promised remember?” And he had. Kanda used to get so annoyed about feeling feminine because of his long hair that Yori had promised he’d wear his long too, just to make Kanda feel better. Sure, they’d been little kids when he promised that, but he still kept to it, even now. Besides, it rather suited him.
“… I forgot.” Why would Kanda remember something like that? It hardly seemed like an important promise to make. On the other hand, it was sort of amazing that Yori had kept a promise so small.
“Sorta figured you had. Oh well, doesn’t matter now. So anyway, since you’re feeling so great now why don’t we go spend some time with the others?”
Kanda nodded and started to get up. “Sure, just give me a minute.”
Just as Kanda was getting to his feet, he was suddenly pulled back down by the hand and before he could even register what was happening, Yori’s lips came into contact with his own and were gone just as quickly. “Okay Yuu-chan, but you only get a minute.” Abruptly Yori stood up and a barrage of cold air assaulted the two. Kanda shivered a bit but disregarded it as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. Yori slipped out of the danger zone as the younger man thought.
A moment later Kanda had fully comprehended the situation and he did the only thing he could think to do. Yell out his embarrassment.
“What the hell! Why is everyone turning gay on me?!”
Yori chuckled at Kanda’s yelling as he made his way down the hall.

Running From Sunrise 11/?

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 22:09:32 GMT

Less than Innocent, More than Like, 36/?

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 01:57:25 GMT

Title: Less Than Innocent, More than Like
Pairing: LaviYuu
Rated: PG for the moment...Just because Lavi's a bad boy >:]
Warnings: Well, it's yaoi...but you already knew that, surely. No spoilers, because this is all speculation about their past. Just don't take this like it's really their past, and you're good.
Disclaimer: Saya owns the play, but not the actors. They belong to Hoshino.
Summary: Lavi hasn't even been in the Order for two weeks, and he's already bored with it! Lucky for him a very interesting new exorcist comes in around the same time. Will Kanda be simple entertainment? Or will unfortunate circumstances force Kanda to stay close to Lavi?

Aha~ Merry Christmas, even though it's a bit early~! Saya hasn't had time to make a special Christmas fic, though she's hoping to get this nice LK pic up by then <3 Maybe she'll link to it? Whatever... onto the fic, which you've all been waiting for with baited breath?

36. Getting Better -- Getting Worse
It was sort of odd, the feeling of foreboding that was growing within Yuu. He never felt this way when he was going to meet Yori; if he did then he wouldn’t meet up with the older boy everyday like he always had. He pushed the feeling into the back of him mind, knowing that if there was one person he could trust it was Yori.
Maybe it was just the place they were meeting today? It was an old storehouse that they used to play in when they were younger. They’d stopped going there when a part of the ceiling had collapsed and had almost hit Yori, so why on earth would they go there to meet? Especially considering that they lived on the same street and it would be easier to just meet at one of their houses. Then again, Yori had been getting strange lately, so Yuu supposed it made sense that he would start making odd decisions. Kanda would just have to ask him about it today.
That bad feeling nagged at the back of Kanda’s mind when he saw there was no one outside of the storehouse. It wasn’t like Yori to make him go into someplace like that alone. The older boy was usually the first one to make sure Yuu didn’t endanger himself even that much. Yori was definitely getting strange.
Hesitantly, Yuu walked inside, looking to the ceiling as though he was waiting for it to fall down on him. Instinct had barely been enough to save him from the quick fist that came his way unexpectedly; it seemed the danger was with him on the ground.
Kanda looked around for his attacker and found it was an ex-member of his family’s dojo. The boy hadn’t had the control necessary for proper swordsmanship, he’d attacked one too many classmates without provocation and had been kicked out. If Yuu remembered correctly, this kid hated him. That wasn’t so unusual; most people his age disliked him to some extent. Yuu was an introvert, he had no idea how to communicate normally. Most mistook that for being snobbish or arrogant; it made for a lot of enemies.
After a few minutes of dodging blows, Kanda had seen enough of the storehouse to know that there was not one but three people there excluding himself. All three of them were people who didn’t exactly like him, because they thought he was proud and then he’d proven that he would’ve had every right to be arrogant when he kicked their asses. He was pretty sure he could do that again, but it was going to be a real chore.
Then again, he was facing all of them at the same time now, things could be different. Damn it all.
Yuu felt a rush of relief when Yori walked into the storehouse, a little backup never hurt and the two of them fought well together. His relief wilted away when he realized that Yori didn’t seem at all surprised by the situation, and he didn’t seem inclined to do anything about it either.
“You always did like to show up early, Yuu-chan,” Yori said casually, as though Yuu had just been bored waiting around for him.
“What the hell is going on here Yori?” Kanda hissed out as he ducked out of the way of one attacker’s fist, just as another delivered a painful kick to his side. Even with most of his concentration on the fight at hand, Kanda’s mind was still able to process the situation. He didn’t really want to think of what was happening though; his thoughts were wandering in a bad direction. He wished he had the ability to think more positively, maybe then he could hide in naivety for a while longer.
“Ain’t it obvious? These fine men are gonna try and beat the crap outta you. I’m gonna see how long I can watch.”
Yuu knew something like that was going to be said, but the bluntness of it still caught him off guard. The second he took to stare incredulously was enough of an opening for one of his attackers to land a hit on his face.
“What the hell? What’s the point of this?” Yuu demanded an answer once he’d gotten his bearings.
“I’m tired of being taken care of and pitied. I don’t need it, I don’t want it. Your self-satisfying pity sickens me!”
Pity? When had Kanda shown pity? Concern, maybe, but he never pitied Yori. He cared, of course he did, Yori was his friend. Pitying him had never crossed Yuu’s mind though. Why would Yori think that? Well, Yuu was about as good at showing emotion as he was at communicating in general, maybe he hadn’t done a good enough job of expressing his true feelings? Yuu wasn’t sure.
Either way though, Kanda was sure of one thing: he’d done nothing to deserve this. He was almost certain that this was Yori’s over-done way of turning his back to Kanda. Why hadn’t Yori just said something if he was so annoyed with the way Yuu acted? There was no reason to set him up like this.
Kanda’s aggravation made him forget all about holding back, and soon enough he’d given back to the three what they’d given him. He’d have to do worse though; these three were sturdy, if nothing else.
“I’d never bother with pity! You’re a fool for thinking I pitied you and an asshole for setting this up!” Kanda yelled, and with an annoyed jab he hit the pressure points on the back of his first assailant’s neck. Yuu was done with this game. The trio seemed to have no sense of loyalty to one another, because the other two quickly scampered off when the first one fell.
“You damned coward,” Kanda said venomously. He could hardly get over the pettiness of this whole mess, the pointlessness of it. He was angry and didn’t really understand just why this had to happen. “If you hate me then say it to my face. If you want to see me hurt, then damnit hurt me yourself!”
For a moment, Kanda’s eyes burned into Yori’s trying to read into their very depths to find his old friend’s reasons for doing this. This uncalled for betrayal. There had to be a bigger reason, a reason Kanda could understand and accept. The realization of what was happening was really starting to sink in now. Yuu didn’t want to think about what life was going to be like without this person constantly at his side. He didn’t want to think about what was going to happen to himself without that important person in his life. And he definitely didn’t want to think about what would happen to Yori if he didn’t have anyone to patch him up every morning, either.
He could find nothing in those deep brown eyes that he’d once thought he knew so well. If Yori had a reason for this, he was doing a fantastic job of hiding it. There was nothing but some unreadable emotion flickering in the back of Yori’s eyes. Kanda scowled deeply, this felt so very wrong.
“Che, and now you go quiet. Can you only talk to me when I’m preoccupied? You really are a coward; you can’t even say what you want to my face.” Kanda didn’t bother holding back as he spoke coldly to this person whom he no longer knew. His indignity raged, and he was tempted to lash out at this person. Yuu was stopped though when the pain coursing through his body suddenly made itself known to his consciousness. Damnit, he needed to get home, he needed to have Hayate help him clean up these wounds.
Yori made no move to react to his words, to speak in his defense or anything, he just stared, that strange emotion deadening his eyes. Kanda shook his head at the older boy; this was childish, it wasn’t worth it to pick a fight with Yori now, there was no point. With an air of anger and disappointment, Kanda left the storehouse.
He wasn’t the only one asking ‘why’ when he left.
000
Yori was sort of amazed when Kanda walked around his house the next morning as if nothing had been wrong just the night before. He’d checked Yuu’s back before the irate boy woke up to see if it had healed, and to his surprise the wound from the night before was almost completely gone. There was no scar, just a bit of discoloration where the wound had been, and even that was fading away. How strange, Yuu hadn’t always been that way.
The redhead seemed to think it was strange that Yori was so surprised by Kanda’s suddenly accelerated healing. He walked over to Yori’s side as the older boy pulled the blanket covering Kanda back up to his shoulders; the kid had fallen asleep in what could hardly be considered scraps, he’d definitely needed the covering.
“Surprised he healed so fast?” Lavi asked as he stared at Kanda’s face, his eye one-part admiring, two-parts denial. Yori could sort of see where the conflicting feelings came into play; Yuu was a real doll when he was sleeping. The two had been quick to avert their eyes when Kanda’s fluttered open.
“Who wouldn’t be surprised?” Yori muttered back, as if the question was crazy. It seemed stupid to Yori, but what did he know? Maybe all exorcists were like this? Maybe that Order they belonged to performed experiments on them to make them more superhuman than they already were? “I’ve never seen someone heal that quickly.”
“Really? I asked Yuu-chan about his healing once, and he said that he’d always healed fast, said it was normal for him.” Well Yuu had, just not in so many words and not to Lavi; he’d said something along those lines to Bookman and Komui after their first mission together.
Yori snorted at the statement. “Yuu said such an obvious lie and you actually believed him? Huh, he must’ve gotten good at bull shittin’ people if he could pull that off.” Yori wondered what else had changed while Yuu had been away. Who’d taught his Yuu to lie?
“Give me some credit Yori-san, if I believed him would I be asking you about it? I don’t really know how he came to have this ability, but I know it’s not something people are born with.” Lavi wasn’t stupid, and neither was Bookman; the old panda had reminded him to investigate Kanda’s healing abilities before he left the tower.
“Yeah… Am I the only one made uneasy by it though? I mean, you’re an exorcist and all so I guess you’ve seen stranger things, but I see that and wonder what he had to do in order to get that ability, you know? It must’ve been costly. Can’t be healthy for him in the long run, either.”
Lavi opened his mouth to respond to that, but quickly shut it again. In all honesty, he’d been so curious about the ability itself that he’d never thought about what it was actually doing to Yuu. Now that he thought about it though, he too realized just how bad the long term effects would be. Forgetting that he was having a conversation for a moment, Lavi started mumbling to himself about cell reproduction and the like.
“Accelerated healing means a higher rate of mitosis… but that means the cells are splitting and dying faster than they should… After a while they’d all stop undergoing mitosis and… Oh hell, what did that idiot do to himself?” Lavi’s eye widened as he realized that Kanda’s healing ability was probably killing him slowly.
“Oi, Lavi-san, what are you mumbling about?” Yori asked, not understanding a thing as Lavi had been mumbling to himself in the bookman’s secret language.
“That idiot!” Lavi exclaimed suddenly and loudly. Everyone in the room turned to face him, looking at him curiously. Lavi tried to stop himself from storming up to Yuu and punching him. Lavi had no idea what Kanda was thinking when he’d done whatever he had to get that stupid ability, but he definitely felt that it wasn’t worth the sacrifice. Then again, that ability had saved Kanda’s life a few times and without it Kanda’s life would’ve been even shorter than it was destined to be. Perhaps that made it a good thing? It’d be a totally worthless ability when the war was over though, assuming it ended during Kanda’s lifetime.
A light knock on the head brought Lavi out of his revelry. Kanda was standing beside him, one hand hitting Lavi’s head, the other slowly closing the buttons on the shirt Marie had brought for him.
“Baka, stop saying pointless things so early in the morning,” he said, though his voice held no real anger or annoyance. If anything, Kanda was just as confused as the rest of the group. Lavi could tell he was; confusion and curiosity were blending in his eyes.
“Ah…right, right. Sorry Yuu-chan,” Lavi said with a sheepish grin, trying to get back into character. That outburst had been very un-Lavi-ish of him. Lately he felt like he was coming undone at the seams and he hadn’t a clue as to why. It was like something was disrupting Lavi’s persona, making it impossible to act out his role properly, making it impossible to not feel the emotions he showed.
000
“Hey, Yuu!” Kanda looked up from his position in the yard. It was his turn to stay home, but not his turn to sleep, so he’d just been walking around the yard without purpose. The voice from above had stopped him in his tracks.
Yori was waving down at him from a tree; Kanda recognized it as the one he’d always hidden from Hayate and his crazy schemes in. He and Yori had spent a lot of time up there as kids. Kanda looked up and sighed, shaking his head a little and trying not to smile. Just because he’d forgiven Yori didn’t mean he could start smiling all the time and being happy. He had a reputation to uphold and Lavi would never let it go if he was nice for even a second. Then again Lavi was sleeping at the moment.
“Well, are you just going to stand there or are you going to come up here?” Yori asked, seeing that he had Kanda’s attention.
“Do you really think that branch can hold us both anymore?” Kanda asked even as he made his way to the tree’s trunk.
“Of course it can, unless you’re trying to say you think I’m fat now. Sit on another branch if you’re so scared.” Hmph, Kanda scared of a little fall? Never. Yuu quickly climbed up to the branch Yori was sitting on and sat beside him. This was oddly nostalgic, he could still see the messy carving of their names in the bark of the tree; they’d had this labeling phase where they just had to write their names on everything when Yuu was about 7. They’d turned it into a little competition, seeing who could claim the most as theirs. Yori had won when he’d taken a calligraphy brush to Kanda’s face while he was sleeping. “I’ve claimed Yuu, so now anything you claim goes to me!” He’d said, declaring his victory. Damn cheater.
Something like a smile tugged the corners of his mouths upward just as much as he would allow as his fingers traced over the crudely carved names. A moment later he felt a thin finger tracing out the symbol for ‘trust’ onto his cheek.
“Remembering this?” Yori asked, giving a little sigh as he too looked over to the names scrawled on the wood. Kanda made a little noise of agreement in the back of his throat. Something in the back of Kanda’s mind told him that he was slipping, that just because he’d forgiven one person didn’t mean he could suddenly trust everyone in the world again. Thinking that way would get him killed, especially now. What had happened in the past had prepared him for the future.
That one little dark spot clouded the otherwise pleasant atmosphere that surrounded the two. If Yori noticed the dip in Kanda’s unusually happy mood, he didn’t say it. One thing they both did notice though was the slow dipping of the tree branch they were on. With an exchange of panicked looks, the two quickly jumped out of the tree, landing on the uneven ground with a roll to absorb the impact. They stopped rolling a few feet away from the tree, something like a chuckle welling up in Kanda’s throat.
This…this happiness was so foreign to him, he couldn’t really remember the last time he’d felt like things were right. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d just sat together with anyone for even a moment without getting angry at them. Being here, in this familiar place with all of these familiar people was making him regress, almost. He wished he didn’t know about akuma or the danger that lurked just outside of this town, because then maybe he could be perfectly happy for the first time in what felt like forever.
Yori rolled onto his stomach and folded his arm in front of him, looking perfectly content with the idea of just lying in the snow until they got too cold to stay outside. Kanda stayed on his back, looking up at the leaden sky that promised another storm soon. He could feel Yori staring at him, and questioningly stared back. He found that he still couldn’t completely read the brown eyes he’d once been so familiar with, but at least now he wasn’t staring at blank, flat irises. On the contrary, he was only having trouble reading Yori’s eyes because there was too much in them to comprehend. Oh, how things have changed.
The moment was peaceful, but the world had this way of making sure it wasn’t forgotten.
“Yuu-chan, it’s your nap time,” Lavi called out into the yard groggily from the side door of his room. Kanda exhaled loudly and got up, putting on his work face. He was not going to walk up to Lavi looking happy or content; he didn’t want the rabbit getting any weird ideas about him being a secretly nice or joyful person or anything like that. He obviously wasn’t, it was just this place.
“I hardly think sleeping like the dead for five hours in considered a nap,” Kanda snapped as he walked past Lavi. Annoyingly enough, his voice didn’t have its usual coldness in it, and damn it all Lavi noticed.
“In a good mood, Yuu-chan?”
“…hn.”
“Never thought I’d see the day where you were happy and not murderous,” Lavi said with general surprise. Usually the closest thing Kanda got to being in a good mood was being in a crazed, “I get to kill you now” mood. Normal happiness didn’t seem to be part of Kanda’s emotional spectrum. Huh.
‘Well I’ll be damned. Guess you really do learn something new everyday.’
“Who said a thing about happy?” Kanda asked with a huff, as though he could hide the light dancing in his eyes. Lavi sighed as though Kanda were a lost cause, shrugging his shoulders.
“I can just tell, and might I say that a happy Yuu is an adorable one?” Lavi’s face stretched into a shit-eating grin as he prepared himself to run just in case Kanda gave chase, but amazingly enough Kanda just rolled his eyes and walked past him. Oh, he was definitely in a good mood, it was almost frightening.
“It’s my turn to sleep right? Then get your ass ready to take Marie’s place when he comes back,” Kanda said evenly, as if he didn’t care either way what Lavi did. It almost annoyed the redhead to know that at the moment he couldn’t get under Kanda’s skin. How unfair.
“Okay boss,” Lavi muttered with another sigh. He wasn’t sure if he liked the happy Kanda or not. As he left the room, Lavi looked over to the place Kanda had been just a moment before, and found the potential reason for why Kanda was so happy. Yori was still lying in the snow, staring at him curiously. Things had been oddly peaceful between Yuu and Yori since Kanda had gotten injured, so naturally Lavi had assumed that something between them had been resolved.
Lavi casually walked over to Yori and sat where he was pretty sure Yuu had been a moment before.
“I’ve gotta be honest with you Red, if I had to chose between you and Yuu, I’d chose Yuu.”
“Well gee, I’m flattered.” Lavi rolled his eyes, as did Yori.
“You know who I meant.”
“Of course I do, my opinion is the same.”
“I’m glad we’re in agreement.”
An odd moment of silence passed between them; that seemed to happen a lot when they were attempting conversation. Lavi figured it was probably because they were two rivals who were trying to stay civil with each other. Of course, Junior didn’t really consider himself a rival; he was just acting out the role of one. This was the kind of thing “Lavi” would do after all.
“So I guess the two of you kissed and made up, hm?” Lavi asked, looking over to Yori. The older boy’s face was priceless, he didn’t seem to realize Lavi was just using a common expression and had taken the statement literally.
“O-Of course not! I am not like you, who just steals kisses from Yuu whenever you feel like it! Fiend, don’t put me in the same group as you!”
“It’s just an expression Yori, just an expression…”
“Oh.”
“Bet you wish you had though, huh?” Yori did so hate Lavi’s knowing grin.
There was another moment of relative silence where Lavi tried not to chuckle over the misunderstanding. The calm moment was destroyed though when the golem that followed Lavi everywhere started going crazy. Lavi was so used to it being somewhere around his head that he wouldn’t even notice it anymore if he weren’t a bookman who noticed everything always. Grabbing in out of the air, he spoke into it in quick English.
“What’s happening, Marie?”
“I just heard multiple barriers shut down, leaving wide gaps in the shield around this town. Akuma are quickly swarming in. Get Kanda and come out here quick.”
“Shit. Where are you now?”
“Two miles east of you.”
“We’ll be there soon.”
The line was disconnected as Lavi jumped up from his spot in the snow. Yori gave him a worried look; he didn’t understand what Lavi and Marie had said, but he understood the urgency in his voice.
“Yori, get inside and stay there. I can’t explain it right now, but you need to get to a safe place. Tell the others to stay inside, too,” Lavi said in a tone that left no room for argument. Yori was still confused about what was going on, but he did as told. To him, a serious Lavi meant something was seriously wrong.
Lavi followed Yori to the house’s porch, running into the room he’d just left. He hardly noticed that Kanda was in the middle of changing, for once not thinking it was important enough to comment on.
“Yuu, we’ve got to go.” Kanda didn’t need an explanation; he just grabbed his exorcist coat and threw it on over his work pants and half-undone nightshirt. He followed the redhead when he broke out into a run, keeping pace until they reached Marie on the east side of the town.
“What’s happening?” Kanda finally asked, now that they were together.
“An invasion, from the sounds of it,” Marie replied, stress aging his face. Kanda cursed under his breath.
“Where are they coming in from?”
“A few barriers shut down around this area, the finders are probably dead. The akuma will show themselves soon, and hopefully we can keep them within this area.” Marie inclined his head to the right, a clear sign that he was concentrating on listening to everything carefully. Kanda and Lavi were silent for a moment as Marie assessed the situation in a way they could never comprehend.
“We should spread out over a distance of about a mile; we can catch most of them that way.” The three nodded in unison, and quickly split up with every intention to follow through with this plan.
000
The Kanda family and Yori were tense as they sat together in the dojo. They didn’t really know what was going on, except for what Yori had told them. All he knew was that they needed to be safe, so they all just assumed that they were under attack.
“Is Yuu-nii going to be alright?” Naoko asked the question that had been plaguing all of their minds. None of them had ever seen Kanda come back from a night’s patrol injured except for Yori, so they were very unsure of what would happen to their missing family member. It felt so wrong to be sitting on their hands in the dojo while the family’s youngest son was fighting in a battle so serious that they had to take cover.
Yori was especially worried, naturally. He’d actually seen the injuries Yuu had gotten while on a normal patrol before they’d healed. If he was getting such injuries while running a routine patrol, how bad would his wounds be when the danger was this great? How often did Yuu have to run into battles like this? Had he lived through worse? Yori was becoming painfully aware of just how little any of them knew about this war.
“Yuu is going to be just fine, he’s not alone out there, you know,” Hayate soothed, keeping Naoko close. As much as he’d like to think she was too young to really understand the situation, he knew she did. It would take more than a few reassuring words to stop her from worrying.
“Che, I can hardly stand this,” Yori muttered as he paced around like a caged tiger, “How can they just tell us to stay here while they go out to battle?”
“You know why, Yori,” Kanda’s father said, looking just as frustrated by the situation as Yori, “We don’t have the ability to fight off these demons. We’d just be in their way.” Yori grit his teeth at the truth in this, he knew that he’d be useless in this sort of fight but that didn’t make anything easier. Still, couldn’t someone at least be there to take care of the exorcists when the got injured? They could only fight for so long with open wounds. Yori didn’t care what he did, as long as he wasn’t sitting at home feeling useless!
Curling his hands into fists, Yori stopped pacing the dojo. For a moment everyone was relieved, figuring that he was finally going to join them on the floor. For an unsure moment Yori just stood, closing his eyes and trying to decide what it was he wanted to do. When he opened them again, he’d made his decision.
“I don’t care if I can’t fight, I can’t stay here either!” he declared and ran out of the dojo. The family shouted after him, but it was clear that he would not be stopped. Hayate cursed under his breath and got up off the floor, running after Yori.
‘We’re so gonna get killed,’ he thought, and decided that if he did manage to drag Yori back to the dojo in one piece, he was going to kill that stubborn jerk anyway.

Running from Sunrise, Chasing the Moon 10/?

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:05:51 GMT

Title: Running from Sunrise, Chasing the Moon
Pairing: For this chapter, one-sided Komui/Cross-
Rated: M because this story will get filled with fail porn, and centers around pedophila. This chapters very innocent and work safe though.
Warnings: This chapter is a little limey....but nothing serious...
Disclaimer: Saya owns the play, but not the actors. They belong to Hoshino.
Summary: He's running from what he can't avoid, and chasing after what he can never have. Allen was content serving his master, so why...?

Ah, last filler chapter for now. Saya loves this chapter, she really love's Komui's past for some reason. After this there will be some serious plot movement! Sorta. Saya's not so sure of that, honestly, she just knows that during the time she's taken to write these filler chapters, she's thought of wonderful stuff....wonderful to her, at least.

10. The Right Choices
Komui didn’t really like school, so he was glad when the New Year’s break came around. It wasn’t as though he was a stupid child, and it wasn’t as though he didn’t value education. He just knew there was something beyond what he was being taught, and he wanted to get there but it seemed that no one was ever going to show him that secret knowledge. There was something lacking in all of his subjects, something uncertain about them that he didn’t like. Who was to say the history he was taught was true? The rules of language changed all the time. The “sciences” he was taught seemed so much more like mysticism that real science to him. Math at least had a nice, solid foundation. There were no exceptions in it; things were just as they appeared. He felt like that one subject at least could be trusted to bring him closer to the truths he wanted to find.
He was home now though, and things were simpler at home. All Komui had to worry about at the moment was getting the ingredients his mother would need for their New Year’s meal. Shopping was such a chore, but he was happy to help out in any way he could. The marketplace was always pretty interesting, too, there wasn’t much that caught his eye, but studying the people there was just as interesting.
One person in particular always caught his interest. There was a foreigner who ran a small shop of his own. He wasn’t as outlandishly foreign as some of the other outsiders Komui had seen, his hair was a medium brown instead of that strange gold color so many of them had. His eyes were a hazel color instead of blue. He was still pale with distinctly non-Chinese characteristics, but at least he didn’t stand out so much in a crowd.
“Ah, Komui! Coming to visit again, or just running errands?” The foreigner asked as he waved over to him. Komui waved back and walked over to the small shop, he had plenty of time to shop. Komui had come to befriend this man over some books that he sold. This guy was a scientist, a real scientist. He relied on formulas and proven facts, mathematics and concrete evidence. Komui had found himself hanging around the shop so much that the owner had eventually given him a job there. That was a bit of a blessing, as Komui’s parents had been hoping he would get a job to help them with their financial troubles.
“Just running errands, though a little visit never hurt anyone,” Komui said happily. The two of them entered the shop; it was a bookstore, and while the majority of the books were in a language that the locals could understand, there were a few sections that were just filled with English books, and a few other languages. Komui liked those sections best; they had all sorts of interesting books on physics, chemistry and anatomy. There was even a few Chinese-to-English dictionaries, which were a great help to Komui seeing as he had a very limited English vocabulary. The foreigner could only teach him so much while they were working, and Komui couldn’t really practice at home, his parents didn’t like foreigners or their languages. They’d be shocked to know their dear son was working for one.
“Getting ready for New Years, hm? The celebration is always so extravagant, I like the way you celebrate it a lot more than the way I do.”
“I wonder if I’d agree,” Komui said quietly. For a long time he’d been very curious about the place this man came from. The foreigner didn’t particularly like where he came from which was why he was here, but Komui was fascinated with European culture, and of course western science.
“Knowing you boy, you’d probably love it there,” the man muttered with a roll of his eyes. Komui chuckled, but stopped when a stack of heavy books was dropped before him.
“What’re these…?” Komui asked with a raised eyebrow. The foreigner gave his usual roguish grin and explained.
“They’re some medical books I just got in today, newest edition,” he said, anticipating Komui’s excited expression. Komui was not one to disappoint, and he didn’t this time either. His eyes lit up and he quickly started flipping through the top book. Oh goodness, these books were practically begging for him to buy them. For one greedy moment he was tempted to use the money his parents had given him for shopping to buy them, but quickly he threw that thought away. He could come back and get them later, if he really wanted them. It would be wrong to steal from his family like that.
The foreigner knew Komui well enough to have a pretty good idea of what was going on in his mind.
“Take them Komui, I know you’re dying to,” the foreigner said, feeling charitable. He found it difficult to deny Komui anything.
“I can’t, I can’t pay for them,” Komui said immediately, denying the man’s kindness. It wouldn’t feel right to him to just take them when those books were undoubtedly costly.
“Sure ya can Komui, consider them a New Year’s gift. A Christmas gift too, since you wouldn’t let me get you anything at the time.”
Komui was unsure if he would feel right accepting these; it didn’t feel like he’d earned them. But oh, did he want to just take them, say a quick thanks and then bolt for home and forget all about anything that didn’t have to do with science.
“You’ve been working your ass off here since you were twelve. After two years of hard work and loyal patronage, I think you deserve a gift or two.”
“You always think I deserve a gift or two,” Komui muttered back, but despite himself he was finding it harder and harder to reject the man’s offer.
“Well it’s not everyday I find a young boy so interested in learning. What’s wrong with me trying to fuel the fire? The world could use a bright mind like yours. Just take them and enjoy, Komui. I’d be a bit insulted if you didn’t.”
That was sort of unfair. Komui knew he wouldn’t really be, but now Komui was sort of obligated to take them. Granted, it was an obligation he’d gladly fulfill but it was still a bit low to say that. Darn foreigner knew just how to make Komui accept a gift.
“I see then. Thank you for your kindness,” Komui said, his gratefulness and excitement showing clearly now that he’d accepted the gift.
“Don’t mention it kid.”
000
Komui thought nothing of it when he walked into the closed bookstore on a day that it was usually open. It wouldn’t be the first time that the owner forgot to open shop, or had slept in and had yet to open the store. Komui had even found himself making breakfast for the owner a few times, oddly enough. So he walked into the store, fully prepared to go upstairs into the older man’s apartment and wake him up.
However, he didn’t expect to enter the store and see the shelves empty and boxes stacked all around.
“What’s going on here?” Komui’s eyebrows knitted together, his confusing evident on his face.
“Sorry I didn’t tell you about this sooner Komui, I’m sure this is a surprise for you,” the man apologized as he brought another box in from the back room. “I recently got a letter from my brother. My father is practically on his deathbed, and I intend to see him before he dies. I’m going back to England.”
“Oh.” Komui couldn’t argue with the man’s reasons because if his father was dying he would drop everything and go to his side, too. “Will you be coming back?”
The foreigner shook his head. “Probably not. I can’t now, I’m the oldest son, expected to take over the family business. I’ve got a job waiting for me there, and if I read my brother’s letter right, I might have a fiancé waiting for me, too.” The foreigner’s dislike of this situation was evident in his expression, though his tone was resigned.
The foreigner wasn’t the only one who was upset by this, naturally Komui was too. The man had been a very close friend of his for years now, ever since Komui had wandered into the science section of this store when he was 11. It had been nearly four years since then, this man was almost like an older brother to him, or maybe a favorite uncle. Komui would feel very lonely when he left.
Still, Komui couldn’t selfishly ask him to stay, or to come back when his father was dead. Komui couldn’t take this man from his family and his responsibilities selfishly, even though the man probably wanted to stay just as much as Komui didn’t want him to leave.
“Um…Komui, I’ve been thinking about this for a while, since even before I got this letter,” the man said, seeming uncertain, “I’ve known for a while I would have to go back, ever since I caught wind of my father’s illness. So I’ve been wondering… if you would like to come back with me. I know you’ve wanted to go there for a long time, and it would be much easier for me to teach you there than it is here. You know enough English now to get by, too. If you wanted, I could bring you home with me.”
Komui was struck with the mad desire to leave for England when he heard those words. How easy it would be to just pack his bags and leave with the foreigner? He could go off to England and learn the science he was so interested in properly. Together he and this man could do all those experiments that they couldn’t do here because they didn’t have the supplies. He could always come back home if he wanted to, too, this didn’t have to be a permanent move. So tempting this offer was, so, so tempting…
But Komui had family, too. He also had parents that were getting on in years, and he had a precious little sister who was just two years old. His parents wouldn’t be able to keep up with her in a few years, she’d be a ball of energy and they’d just be old and tired. Komui was needed by his family; he was needed by his sister. Someone had to protect her from all the jealous girls and love-struck boys when she grew up, someone needed to teach her right from wrong and shield her from the bad things in this world. What if something happened to her, or their parents? Komui couldn’t leave his family alone.
After a long, tense silence Komui had come to his decision. “I’m sorry…I can’t come with you. Just as you have to be there for your family, I too have to stay here with mine. Maybe when little Lenalee is married I’ll go to study in England, but until she is taken care of and my parents are secure, I can’t leave.”
The foreigner gave a small, understanding smile. He’d known that the question was stupid; he realized Komui would never come with him but he just had to try.
“I see. Well, if you ever do make it to England, be sure to stop by Soho Square, I live in there area. Maybe we’ll meet again?” The man said hopefully, his uncertainty turning the statement into a question. Komui felt like he couldn’t look at this man whom he owed so much to while denying his kindness like this.
“I hope we do,” was all he said in return. The store was silent as the two continued to pack everything into boxes.
000
By the time Komui was fifteen, he’d translated every book he’d ever gotten from the foreigner’s store, and had read through half of them. Some of it was very complicated, it was the kind of science that a fifteen-year-old shouldn’t be able to understand, Komui was sure. Still, he had textbooks for every level of learning so it wasn’t difficult for him to go back and find the information he needed in order to make sense of something.
School had become completely pointless to him. He knew plenty of his own language, and he didn’t care about history, not really. He’d gotten mathematics books from the foreigner, too; he was currently decoding a trigonometry textbook. Komui decided it would be for the best if he concentrated on doing work to help with finances. But everyday before he returned to his room, he went into the storehouse and got out whatever book suited his fancy. He couldn’t keep them in his room, he couldn’t keep them anywhere that his parents might find, so he kept them in that old storehouse on the edge of their property that was in disuse.
Today he didn’t think he would be making a stop at the storehouse, though. The scent of smoke made itself known to him in little teases of air, wafting slowing from the direction of the main house. His stomach clenched in fear, but he tried to calm it. It wasn’t too unusual for there to be a fire going, the air was chilly so someone was probably just warming up the furnace. There was no reason to panic, surely, and yet he did.
For a moment, Komui stopped dead in his tracks when he came to the top of the hill, where he could clearly see his home. There, at the very center of his house in the area that he was pretty sure was the kitchen, a fire was raging. It was eating its way though the roof already, burning through the walls, his home was burning from the inside out.
There wasn’t a moment to lose, Komui had to run as fast as he could, he had to reach his family and be sure that they were alright. The fire had probably started in the kitchen, chances are whoever had been in there was dead or at least seriously injured. At this time of day Lenalee would be sleeping in her room, it was farthest from the kitchen. If Komui was fast enough, he could probably reach her before she inhaled too much smoke. He knew what would happen if she did. Oh, the drawback of knowing too much.
In the end, Lenalee was the only one he could save. He’d made it a priority to get her out of her room first, because he knew he could save her, at least. But the rest of the house burned fast, and as hard as he tried he still couldn’t find anyone in any of the safe places in the house. The two of them waited for hours outside of the house, even long after it had stopped burning, hoping beyond hope that their parents would come home from the market, upset but safe, or that one of them would miraculously walk out of the wreckage. Neither happened.
Komui counted it as a small mercy that Lenalee was so young; she was two and probably wouldn’t remember much of what was happening, or of their parents. She wouldn’t have to miss them the way he would. It was midmorning when she woke up again, perfectly fine if not somewhat confused. She made him put her down, and when she realized she wasn’t at home in her warm little room but outside near the old storehouse, her eyes got wide and watery and her little lips trembled.
“Shhh, little Lenalee, you’re alright, you’re big brother’s got you now.”
000
Komui didn’t have much money on him, but after his parents were confirmed dead he was left with much more money that he ever would’ve thought his family had. Most of it was money to go towards Lenalee’s marriage and education, though a good deal was for Komui, too. He emptied out all of their accounts, took the money and decided to use it to get himself and Lenalee to England. He didn’t know much about the place, but he knew it wasn’t really kind to the destitute. Then again, nowhere was and at this rate they were destined to become just that. Komui couldn’t keep Lenalee alive and fed that way. He was going to get to Soho Square in London, if he could find it and he was fairly good with geography so he was sure he could at least get them in that general area.
The trip over was longer and harder than he expected. Budgeting was difficult enough when he was using his local currency, but he constantly needed to go to the exchange and he knew that if he weren’t so adept at math and if he didn’t know English he would’ve been swindled out of a lot of money, just because he was a teenager and people thought they could trick him.
But he did make it to England, and it was easy enough to make his way to London. Of course, once he got there he was completely out of money and he didn’t want to risk living as homeless for even a day while he had Lenalee with him. If he was by himself he wouldn’t mind it at all, but he wasn’t and he wouldn’t endanger his precious sister. He needed to find shelter, and he needed to find shelter in a safe place.
Faintly, he remembered that the foreigner had always kept a cross around his neck. It took a moment for Komui to think of why he would remember something like that while wandering the streets with his baby sister. Komui had thought it was strange that the foreigner was a religious man when he was so involved with science. He’d asked once about it and the foreigner had said that God had proven himself just as surely as any science had. He’d said that God had helped him through plenty of things, as well as the church…
A church. Komui was remembering this because that foreigner had told him about the churches in London. Perhaps someone there could help, or at the very least they could take shelter in the chapel for the night. Komui made finding a church his top priority.
It wasn’t so hard to find one, as it turned out. It was midday when he stumbled upon one, just across the street from what looked like a school. That was pretty convenient, the foreigner he knew had once told him education was compulsory in England for children, and now Komui knew where he could send Lenalee when she was old enough.
The tall, graying stone building with its large wooden doors was a bit intimidating at first, but Komui was tired and hardly cared. Hesitantly he entered the church, his little sister holding his hand, tottering beside him.
“Um…Excuse me, anyone here?” Komui asked quietly. He felt like he was trespassing on sacred ground or something; Komui didn’t even believe in these people’s God and yet he was going to ask for their help. His eyes focused on a small figure to the very back of the church, near the alter. The person stood and looked back at them. It was a woman, and she looked to be in her late 30s. Slowly, the woman made her way to Komui and his sister. Not sure what to make of this woman, Komui picked up Lenalee and held her to him protectively.
“Ah…Hello sir, is there anything I can do for you?” She asked, much less worried about him than he was about her. Komui tried to calm down, though he found it hard to.
“Um… I’m not really sure if you can help or not but… My little sister and I don’t have anywhere to stay, and I was hoping someone here could be of some assistance…” Komui wasn’t really sure how anyone here could help him, now that he thought about it. Maybe he was being stupid, and this woman was just going to tell him so?
Contrary to what he’d expected, the woman’s face became worried as she looked from Komui to the tired, slightly frightened girl in his arms. Lenalee was clinging to his shirt, her face buried in his chest as though she really believed he could protect her from everything. So far he’d done a pretty good job of it. Eventually though, she looked over to the woman, who was speaking to her in a soothing voice. Komui had only ever talked to her in Chinese, she had learned to speak fairly early but even she had no idea what the lady was saying to her. Komui knew that the woman was doing her best to ease Lenalee’s fears, and he felt that anyone who was so concerned about his dear sister couldn’t be bad.
He knew that the moment Lenalee looked at the woman with her round, perfect eyes that the woman was taken with her. Maternal instinct seemed to take over, and the woman looked up to Komui.
“I think that we should be able to help you, but I will have to ask the priest first. For now though, please feel free to stay in the church. I will go find Father Marc and get the two of you something to eat. Does that sound alright?”
“Uh…Yes, that would be very much appreciated, thank you,” Komui said awkwardly. He hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so kind first thing upon entering London. The woman, she’d identified herself as a nun belonging to the church’s associated convent, whisked out of the church hall, and came back a few moments later with a middle-aged man and two sandwiches. Lenalee was so happy and thankful that Komui couldn’t help but be doubly thankful for the nun’s kindness.
“Hello, I’m Father Marc. I’ve heard a bit about your situation from Sister Claire. Would you mind explaining it for me? After that, we can work out a plan to help the two of you. How does that sound?” The man spoke with a soothing tone, his very presence was enough to reassure Komui that everything would turn out right, one way or another.
“That sounds fine. Thank you so much sir.”
000
Together with Father Marc and Sister Claire, Komui worked out a deal that would allow both himself and Lenalee to stay in the church. Lenalee would be given a room in the convent (though she was not obligated to become a nun or anything of the sort), and Komui would stay in the rectory with the father, simply because as a male he couldn’t be allowed to stay in the convent. Komui would do chores around the church to earn their keep, and when Lenalee was old enough she would start attending the school across the street. They were welcome to stay as long as they wanted, though Father Marc made it clear that Komui had to work diligently, and he had to find himself a proper job and place of residence by the time he was 18. Komui would’ve been grateful for just a night’s stay; he hadn’t been prepared for this sort of kindness.
Maybe that foreigner wasn’t so off when he said God proved himself?
000
The nuns seemed to have absolutely no inclination to turn Lenalee into a nun herself. They were definitely trying to bring her up in God, and they were doing a wonderful job of teaching her English, but they all seemed to think she’d make the most darling bride when she was old enough to marry, and hoped that they’d get to see her walk down the isle of their church. That was when Komui started worrying about Lenalee getting married. He had to admit that she definitely would make an adorable bride, and she’d definitely be one worth having, but she’d be much too good for all those boys! She couldn’t get married, because her husband would take her away from him!
More than anything, Komui was starting to wish that Lenalee chose to be a nun.
During the daytime, when Lenalee was being taught English by the nuns and Komui was done with his morning chores and had free time, he would sit out in the church yard and read. His textbooks had been undamaged by the fire because they hadn’t been in the same house, and considering they were the only things that had made it through the fire, Komui felt it was only logical to take them on their journey. He’d bought a suitcase for them and some necessities for himself and Lenalee before they left. He’d taken to reading a bit everyday during his free time; the churchyard was so pretty and calm.
Komui didn’t really sit in the yard though, he preferred sitting on the wall that surrounded the church. It was a medium-height wall that was a little difficult to climb on top of, but it was well worth it to climb up there everyday; the churchyard looked better from a bird’s eye view. There was better lighting too, because there were no trees in the way. His eyes were pretty bad as it was; he was considering getting glasses when he could afford them.
Something he started noticing after a while was that everyday someone walked by the wall he sat on. It was always that same one person; a boy, maybe his age, maybe a bit older, with long vermilion hair that hung free of any bindings, so unlike Komui’s sleek black hair that hung down his back in a long ponytail. Sometimes the stranger would be with a woman, and Komui noticed that he was never with the same woman twice. At first, Komui didn’t pay the boy any mind; who cared if someone decided to walk past the church everyday? It was no concern of his.
But then Komui noticed something about this person—every time he walked by, he looked at Komui curiously. It wasn’t a bad sort of curiosity, the boy was just curious. He peered at Komui everyday from under a sheet of his pretty red hair, whether he was with a woman or not. Komui noticed that half of his face was covered with a mask, he started wondering why.
One day, Komui was simply far too absorbed in his reading to care when the teen walked by, not to say he ever had, really. That was the day he should’ve been paying attention though, because if he had then that person wouldn’t have had the chance to sneak up on him and blow into his ear. Komui jolted and nearly fell off the wall, and his book fell to the ground. The teen chuckled and carefully bent down to pick up the book. He examined the cover for a moment, a mix of amusement and surprise on his face.
“Reading science texts on the church wall? A little blasphemous, isn’t it?” The boy asked, his voice was deep though not oddly so, and smooth as silk. It teased the ear sensually and Komui was lost in the sound for a moment. Then he looked at the teen who’d spoken, really looked at him for the first time from a distance where he could clearly see his face. The face he was staring into was just as beautiful as the voice that it had spoken with.
Komui shook himself out of his daze and answered the boy a little rudely, “Not really. I got this from a devote Christian. He wouldn’t have even touched this if it said anything against God. I imagine that’s why he ripped anything concerning evolution out of my textbooks.” And Komui knew that’s what the foreigner had ripped out only because the missing pages were the pages listed for evolution in the table of contents and index.
“If you say so, stranger,” the boy said with a shrug, not seeming to care that he was talking to someone he didn’t know. “But if you’re reading that, then I can guess that you’re interested in science?”
“How astute of you,” Komui said dryly. This guy exuded an air of self-confidence that bordered on arrogance so closely it was annoying. Besides, blowing into someone’s ear was definitely not the proper way to greet someone. Komui wasn’t partial to arrogant jerks, gorgeous or not.
“Your manners astound and amaze,” the stranger said with a roll of the eye, Komui snorted at his sarcasm.
“I might’ve been prompted to be more polite had I been given a proper greeting.”
“Oh, is that all?” The stranger said, as though he couldn’t believe he even needed to do something so normal, “In that case, my name is Cross Marian, heir to the Marian family. What might your name be miss?”
“Not a girl, ass.” Komui had been mistaken for a girl before, and with his delicate face and long hair he could understand why. It was still a blow to his pride though, and it definitely didn’t make him like this foreigner any.
“I know, you’re figure is hardly feminine. I was just curious about what your reaction would be.” As doubtful as Komui was about that statement, one look at that smirking face (so annoying he just wanted to punch it) and he knew the bastard was telling the truth.
“I’ve got to say though, even if you can find a loophole in reading physics books on the church wall, I doubt you can think of an excuse for swearing on it.”
“…” Komui opened his mouth to reply with an annoyed “Screw you,” but he didn’t feel like prompting the boy, Cross, to talk anymore than he had. Komui felt that Cross had been very properly named; he certainly made Komui feel cross.
“You know, when someone gives you their name, it’s only polite to give your own in return,” Cross said with a hint of impatience in his face. Komui raised an eyebrow to the statement and snatched his book back from the boy, still such a stranger to him, and deigned to reply.
“Lee, my name is Komui Lee.”
“Komui Lee, hm? A name just as pretty and exotic as you are.” It was Komui’s turn to roll his eyes now, but he did so with his lips turned up into a bit of a smirk. It was plain as day that Cross was joking when he said that, he was just being sarcastic.
“Your lines won’t work on me, playboy, find another victim,” Komui said with a hint of mirth. Cross chuckled behind his hand.
“I think I’m going to like you, Komui Lee.”
“Really? Because I think I’m going to hate you.”
000
Despite himself, Komui found himself not hating Cross Marian. That sort of pissed him off because he’d been very determined to dislike this character. Cross was a morally corrupt womanizer and was only 16, a year older than Komui. He did so many things that went against Komui’s own ideas of right and wrong, and even Father Marc had told him to beware of getting sucked into iniquity by Cross, for goodness’ sake! Even so, Komui found himself inexplicably drawn to this person, there was just something very alluring in the sinful nature of this man.
Of course, it helped that Cross was just as into the sciences as Komui was. That had been how it started; everyday Cross would stop at the church wall and they’d talked over different theories and laws and the specific fields that interested them. They spent hours talking over higher-level science, sounding for all the world like a couple of old scientists who’d tested every theory and proved every law themselves. Komui hadn’t really gotten the impression that Cross would be so intelligent when they’d first met, but truly the man was a genius.
Eventually, they started talking about more personal things, too. Marian talked about this girl he absolutely hated but was going to have to marry (to Komui, it sounded like Cross was head-over-heals for this girl), and Komui talked about Lenalee and the foreigner he’d befriended so long ago. They never bothered to find a different place to meet; a change of scenery never crossed their minds. It was easy enough to stay near the church and besides, Komui couldn’t leave the premises without permission.
“Soho isn’t too far away from here, you know,” Cross said one day as they were discussing Komui’s old friend, “If you want to see him, we could always walk there.”
“No, I can’t right now,” Komui said immediately. He didn’t want that foreigner to know he was living off the charity of a church with his little sister, it would too embarrassing, and he knew his old friend would offer him help. He didn’t know if he’d be able to resist that man’s generosity this time around. Naturally Komui didn’t explain that to Cross, but he had the feeling that the other boy knew without being told.
“Hm, to each their own I guess.” Cross shrugged and hopped off of the church wall just as the bell rung three. “In any case, I’ve got a date.”
“With Maria, I hope,” Komui said; he had yet to meet this mysterious girl, but Komui would prefer it if Cross was faithful to her. Cross just grinned and rolled his eye, which was answer enough for Komui. Poor Maria, how on earth would she fair, being married to this threat to women everywhere? Though if Cross’ stories were anything to go by she wasn’t much better. The black-haired boy sighed, it was impossible to understand those sorts of people.
000
Winters in England were a lot gloomier than they were back home, Komui realized as he shivered through his first winter there. He was sincerely thankful that Father Marc hadn’t decided to boot him after one year; Komui was becoming unsure of whether or not he could survive without the church’s kindness. Lenalee wouldn’t be so well off, that much could be certain.
It was too cold to sit on top of the church wall, instead Komui used it to block the cool wind that whipped around him as he waited for Cross. He half-expected that the spoiled brat wouldn’t show.
“Huh, and here I thought that you wouldn’t leave the rectory while it was so cold.” Apparently Komui wasn’t the only one with his doubts.
“I didn’t think a pampered boy like you could withstand the elements either.” Cross laughed his deep, rich laugh that smoothed Komui’s annoyance mysteriously. He sat back on his haunches next to Komui, watching as fluffy white snow was tossed around carelessly by the wind. A moment of silence passed between the two teens.
“You know, the guy who kept the records for my family died recently. Didn’t really know the old bugger so I can’t say I miss him,” Cross said suddenly and for what seemed to be no reason. Komui gave him a strange look, not understanding why Cross would bring that up.
“Why tell me that if you don’t care?” Komui asked, and with his eyebrow raised he turned to look at Cross. Said spoiled teen sighed in exasperation.
“That means his job is open, stupid. He mainly did accounting for the multiple companies my family owns. You’re a genius at math. Take a moment to think about what that might mean for you and your sister who are currently living at the mercy of the church.”
Komui didn’t have to think long before he understood what Cross was saying. This was a job offer. For a moment, he didn’t know if he really wanted to take that offer, after all he definitely didn’t want to work under his arrogant friend. Still, when Komui thought about it while thinking about what was best for Lenalee, the offer was much more appealing. The two of them would be out of the church when he turned eighteen in two years, Komui had to find himself a steady job that paid enough to at least keep the two of them out of the east end of town because he refused to subject Lenalee to that sort of living. Cross’ offer was just so perfect.
“But I’m only 16.”
“And you look like you’re 13, but it’s your brain that matters, not your age. You could do higher level math in your sleep than you’d have to for this job.”
“I imagine there will be some sort of test to see if I could actually do the job, no?”
“Mana will probably see if you can do the math and he’ll walk you through the first few weeks of working, but I can’t imagine you’d slip up too badly.”
“Who is going to take care of Lenalee while I’m working?”
“She’ll have to go to school next year, right? Until then she can tag along with Mana, he’s great with brats. Maybe Maria, if you’d prefer a woman watch her. Maria’s always going on about wanting a little sister, she’d take care of Lenalee as good as any nun.”
“Just how is this Maria character anything like a nun? I never got that impression of her.” Cross laughed for a moment before going on.
“She knows how to act in front of kids, at least. Personally I think she’d have come out better if she’d had a sibling to set an example for.”
“Don’t talk as if you’re any less corrupt than she is. Besides, from what you say, she hates you, so she’ll probably hate me by default. What makes you think she’ll take care of my sister when she’s busy hating me for being associated with you?”
“…Just say you’ll take the fucking job already Komui, it’s too cold out for me to walk over here everyday, and I know you’d be just torn if I didn’t visit your cage often.”
For a moment Komui scowled at Cross, annoyed with him for having the audacity to think that his absence would have any affect of Komui. But he couldn’t stay angry for long, and a moment later he was exhaling loudly, ruffling his bangs to stop himself from laughing.
“So your pampered ass really can’t stand to weather the elements after all. Pansy.”
“Could you just take the damn job already?”
000
Komui had felt much more confident about taking this job while listening to Cross go on about how great he’d be at it than he was now. The Marian manor was much more intimidating than the humble church he lived at had ever been. It was tall, beautiful and extravagant. Komui was hesitant to just pass the gate, even though the guard hardly looked menacing. That probably had something to do with the fact that Cross was standing beside him, and no one would dare frighten the young master’s guest. Damn rich people.
Mana came to greet the two on the walkway to the front door of the mansion. He was a middle-aged man with strong features who was graying just a bit. Komui knew him from the stories Cross told about him; he was fatherly and had raised Cross since before the young master could remember. Mana had also accompanied Cross out a few times to the church wall. He too, seemed much more intimidating than he had before, especially considering he was the one who really held Komui’s hopes in his hands.
A bit of Komui’s fears dissipated when Mana smiled warmly at the two. “Good afternoon you two. I already know of your aptitude for mathematics, Komui, so I don’t really think this little test is necessary. Let’s get these formalities out of the way now, shall we?” Komui nodded numbly to the question and tried to calm himself enough to actually do this.
The test was laughably easy; Komui could’ve passed it in his sleep. Mana had just given him a few copies of the old accounting books that Komui’s predecessor had used, and had him fill them out properly, doing the math he needed to along the way. It hadn’t even taken Komui an hour to breeze though it and so by the end of the day, he had a job. He had a home, too; a real home that he would be working for and get to keep for himself, not just two little rooms in a rectory and convent.
It was very begrudgingly that Komui thanked Cross for this; he hated knowing that he’d had to rely on yet another person’s charity to get him what he wanted and needed. What was it with foreigners and doting on him, anyway? Komui didn’t understand it. Still, he definitely owed Cross, so he did try to express his thanks.
Unfortunately, in the middle of his hesitant thanks and Cross’ smug acceptance of said thanks, an interloper entered the scene. She had to be the most beautiful interloper Komui’d ever seen. The girl was about his age, with moon-pale skin and the most delicate face. Her eyes were cat-like in their shape with long black lashes and deep chocolate irises. Her red lips turned upwards just a bit in a somewhat amused expression. Lush dark brown hair was piled on her head in a detailed fashion that Komui couldn’t hope to comprehend, some of it coming down to frame her elegant face. Komui did his best to keep his eyes on her face, he didn’t dare let them stray towards her shapely body for more than a second.
There was no doubt in Komui’s mind that this beautiful woman—a girl really, but boy did she look like a woman—was Maria, Cross’ fiancé. Physically she was perfect, but Komui could see the sharpness in her eyes that made it clear that her personality was probably a bit crueler.
“Hm, I’ve seen Cross bring home a lot of women before, but this is the first time he’s brought a man home for the night,” she said, looking reading to burst into laughter. Her eyes cut to Cross’ face, amusement making them shine. For the first time Komui watched genuine annoyance and even a hint of embarrassment come over Cross’ features. Mana sighed and dragged a hand down his face.
“It’s not like that Maria and you know it,” Cross ground out through his teeth. Komui tried to stop himself from feeling too awkward. “I told you I’d be bringing Komui here for a job interview today. He’s a friend of mine.”
“I know, I know. Damn it all though, I was really hoping you were of that persuasion,” she said with a resigned sigh. “Looks like I’m stuck with you after all.”
“No one’s stopping you from running away if you hate the idea so much princess.”
“Maybe I will.”
“Good.”
“Jerk.”
Cross’ reply was cut off suddenly when a strange, almost strangled noise made it’s way out of Komui’s throat. The bickering, reluctant couple both looked at him strangely. Try as he might, Komui couldn’t keep it in anymore, and a moment later started laughing almost hysterically.
“What’s so funny?” Maria asked, not quite getting the joke and feeling a bit peeved to know she was being laughed at.
“I-I get why Cross hates you so much now,” Komui said when there was enough air in his lungs, “You’re just like him!”
000
“I demand you take what you said back, Mr. Komui!”
“But it’s true.”
It had been a week since Komui had come to the Marian manor, and both he and Lenalee had recently finished moving in. Leaving the church had been a sad thing, but Komui promised Father Marc and Sister Claire that he would have the two of them in church every Sunday so it wasn’t like they’d never meet again. Neither Cross nor Maria had let his comment about them being the same go.
“It is not true! I am nothing like that womanizing, arrogant, self-absorbed scoundrel!”
“Strange, Cross said the same thing to me, only he said he wasn’t like ‘That man-eating, proud, vain hussy.’ Even your descriptions of each other are identical in meaning.”
Maria huffed, her delicate hands clenching into fists. ‘Cross made just that same expression,’ Komui thought with a chuckle, and continued walking to his room. Maria seemed to realize that he wasn’t paying attention to her and followed him, determined to get him to pay her enough mind to see that she clearly was nothing like Cross. It reminded Komui of the way Cross had followed him around as he’d packed up to leave the church.
“I’m nothing like her, how could you say that?”
“On the contrary, it’s uncanny just how alike you are.”
“Oh come on Komui, there has to be something different about the two of us; you can’t say we’re just alike, no two people are.”
“You’re right; there is a difference between you.”
“I knew you’d see the light.”
“Yes, you’re of different genders.”
“Ugh.” Maria looked ready to hit her head against the wall in frustration. Or maybe she wanted to bash Komui’s against the cold stones, he couldn’t be sure. He imagined that Maria wasn’t used to having people not do as she said, and she was probably very unused to men shirking off her orders the way Komui was. He felt impervious to her charms, most likely because he’d met Cross first and everything she did made him think “Cross would’ve done the same” and that was a bit of a turn-off. Besides, Komui was too upright to even think of letting himself be seduced by his friend’s fiancé.
“You’re so difficult, Komui,” she said, her tone changing to one that was a bit pleading in a decidedly not-innocent way. His eyebrows shot up as he looked at her, pretty face pouting perfectly as she stared at him. Without meaning to Komui imagined Cross’ equivalent to that expression and shuddered at the thought. He needed to get out of the habit of comparing them.
“I suppose I am.”
“What, I wonder…” Maria was suddenly closer, looking seductive. Komui thanked God his room was just a few steps away. If he made it into the door he could shut her out and shake off the unpleasant feeling this situation gave him. “Does it take to break through to a man like you?” The light pressure of her perfectly manicured hand on his arm was warm, inviting in a way it shouldn’t have been. Komui took another sure step towards his room; she was getting much too close to be proper.
“Okay, two differences then. I don’t think Cross would ever attempt to seduce me,” Komui said as he reached his door. He gently pushed her away, with a small smile on his face. He could tell that she wasn’t so serious about this seduction; it was probably a game to her at this point. She smirked at her small victory.
“Then again if he were desperate enough, who knows,” Komui added sarcastically. Maria snorted at the thought.
“You’re funny, Komui,” she said, no longer seductive. She was just a girl now, just a sixteen-year-old like himself who wasn’t expressing her hate for her fiancé by coming on to anything in pants.
“Funny indeed.” The two teens jolted when they heard the third voice. Slowly the two turned to see Cross leaning on the wall about a meter away from them. His expression was one of amusement, but Komui could see something brewing just below the surface that made him feel endangered. Maria didn’t seem to notice it though, maybe she just ignoring it.
“Oops, looks like you’ve caught me with your man, Cross,” she joked, and stood on her toes to kiss Komui’s cheek, “I guess I should leave before the lovers’ spat breaks out.” Maria was quick to leave the hall, a bit of a giggle passing through he lips as she did. Komui was now certain that she’d seen the jealousy in Cross’ eyes, and he knew something else, too; she wanted him to feel jealous.
Komui was dragged into his room and promptly slammed against the large mahogany doors.
“What the hell was that Komui?” Cross ground out clearly furious. Komui tried not to loose his head over how frightening Cross could be when angry.
“You were right there, Cross. You should’ve been able to realize that she wasn’t serious in her pursuit of me and that I was clearly pushing her away.”
“You were headed for your room.”
“So I could shut her out. I’m not about to fall for my friend’s woman.” Cross took a step back from Komui with a longsuffering sigh. He moved back to sit on Komui’s bed, both of his large hands raking through his long hair.
“Sorry, Komui, I was being stupid. It’s just….ugh, she drives me crazy with the way she acts!” As Komui watched Cross burn in jealousy, he knew he’d been right to think that Cross really did love Maria, despite how much he said to the contrary. Something about that almost hurt and Komui didn’t know why.
000
“Ge-ge do I really have to go?” Lenalee looked up at Komui with her adorable round eyes anxiously. It was her first day of school, and Komui was just as hesitant to let her go as she was to leave.
“Yes, Lenalee. Don’t worry, you’ll love school. All your friends from the convent are here, and you’re so cute you’re bound to make a lot of new ones!” Komui tried to sooth her fears while speaking calmingly in their mother tongue to her, but even he was worried. She looked so different from all of the children milling around the schoolyard, she was sure to be picked on. As Komui’s eyes scanned the crowds of kids he noticed that she didn’t look so different from all of them. One boy stood by the school wall that looked to be of Asian origin, so at least she wasn’t the only one who was different. He could tell that same boy had caught her eye a moment later.
“You’ll do fine, Lenalee… You’re such a sweet girl, of course you’ll be fine.” Komui dropped to his knees to hug her as the school bell rang. “You’re growing up so fast, and in school already…I’m going to miss not having you at home with me.”
“Ge-ge, you’re embarrassing…” She muttered even as she hugged him back. Komui smiled a bit and stood back up.
“I suppose I am. Now run along, you don’t want to be late,” Komui said, switching to English. Lenalee nodded, and headed to the Asian boy near the wall, who was now talking to a redhead. He hoped she wouldn’t be late to her first class.
Komui also hoped that those two boys were nice to her, because they’d have hell to pay if they weren’t.
000
The fact that Lenalee had quickly made friends at school took a lot of stress off Komui’s shoulders, though the fact that they were both boys (boys! Those things turned into hormone-driven dogs when they grew up!) was a whole new worry to deal with. For the first time in a while Komui sincerely hoped Lenalee decided to join the convent.
However, as long as Lenalee was well taken care of at school, Komui didn’t have to worry about her. That meant he had to either focus on work or on his own problem. His problem was that his work was too mind-numbing and repetitive to block out his other problems. Damn it all. His other problems weren’t financial in nature; he was well-paid and was set for life, really. His worries were of an emotional nature. They had to do with Cross and Maria. Or just Cross in general.
He’d been realizing it more and more recently, as the deadline for Cross’ marriage loomed ever nearer, that he liked not the young master’s destined bride-to-be, but her bridegroom! Besides the fact that such feelings went against all the things he’d been taught by that foreigner from so long ago and by the priest he’d lived with for so long, he felt sick for falling for a friend, a taken man! Komui must’ve had something wrong with him, maybe he’d inhaled one too many poisonous chemicals while working in Cross’ labs?
Komui had to do something about this, he couldn’t let himself feel something so wrong for much longer. At the moment, Cross and Maria still had a bittersweet relationship. They were always fighting, but something about their fights had changed; it was like they were two actors simply performing opposing roles when they really loved each other off stage. But neither of them wanted to outright admit that they loved the other, so perhaps if Komui gave them a bit of a push in the right direction and they just admitted their feelings to each other, he could kill whatever feeling it was that persisted in his own heart?
One day, when the two of them had chosen to bicker in his office (his nice, if not ridiculously cluttered office), he got so annoyed with them that he decided to actually put this plan into action.
“Goodness you two! I get it already; you know how to yell at each other! Now could you please for the love of all that is holy just skip to the part where you accidently admit you fucking love each other and get out of my office?!”
The two had stopped mid-yell to stare at him, and then stare at each other. Komui could see it as the truth of his words made itself known to them and they turned back to each other, looking for all the world like two shy, awkward school children.
“You…You know what? Komui is right,” Cross said once he’d regained his bearings, “I’ll be a man and admit it. Maria, I’ve never once actually thought it would be a bad thing to marry you. I’ve been looking forward to it for years.”
“Oh…Cross…” Maria’s eyes were watery and she bit her bottom lip before it could start to tremble. She launched herself into his arms and let out a happy sob into his chest. Something in Komui clenched painfully as the desire to destroy their relationship grew in him and boiled violently. He locked it away into a little drawer in the back of their mind, and just let those feelings crush him as he watched the two resolve themselves.
A few moments later when Komui’s hopes were good and gone, he cleared his throat and broke up their moment.
“I’m happy you two are happy now, but it’s time for the two of you to move this little love confession out of my office,” Komui said, managing to sound surprisingly honest about his words. The two had the grace to look embarrassed, and quickly left the room, most likely headed for one of their bedrooms. The moment they left, Komui sighed and put his head in his hands. Killing off his own emotions hurt.
000
Komui watched for two years as both Cross and Maria gave up their lovers one-by-one, locked away their liquor and threw their cigarettes into the trash. It was so sweet it was nearly sickening to watch them, but at least the hopelessness Komui felt because of the situation was enough to smother his feelings for the time being. He even felt sort of happy for them, because he wanted to see Cross happy; he wanted to see both of his friends happy. He’d even managed to stop himself from strangling Maria in the night by thinking about how happy they were. All in all, Komui thought he was doing pretty good.
Of course, now that the wedding was all of two weeks away and Komui was expected to act the part of an overjoyed best man, he wasn’t so sure he could keep this up. What if he did something rash during the wedding, what if he ruined things for Cross? Komui imagined that wouldn’t be forgiven easily. He was sure he felt more nervous about the wedding than both Cross and Maria combined.
That day while he tried to release his stress with science (sweet, cold science had never betrayed him!), Maria came into the lab alone to talk to him. This was highly unusual for two reasons; one, Cross had been attached to her hip for the last year and a half, and two, she had always refused to enter the labs.
“Komui, you don’t have to force yourself to be so supportive,” she said bluntly once she was sure she held Komui’s full attention. For a moment his mind couldn’t think of what she was talking about. Sighing, Maria went on to explain, “The Marriage. You don’t have to be so supportive when I know you don’t really feel that way.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Komui said nonchalantly, hoping to sound as sure of this as he wanted to.
“Don’t lie to me; I’ve seen you looking at him. You look at Cross the way I do.”
“I sure hope I don’t.” Komui knew he did; only he looked more hopeless than she.
“It’s okay, Komui, really. Honestly, I’m sort of glad someone besides me loves him,” she said with a strange tone of voice that Komui didn’t really understand. That was such a strange statement, especially coming from her; she was so possessive of Cross usually, how odd it was of her to say she wanted competition. Not to say Komui was any competition for this positively stunning woman, no one was.
“You’re acting strange, Maria,” Komui said in a dubious voice. There was something so wrong about this whole thing, he just couldn’t place it. Maria sighed and looked away from him.
“Honestly, I feel strange, too.”
“Oh goodness, you’re pregnant, aren’t you? Do you feel sick? If so then please get out of here, the chemicals I’m working with aren’t the healthiest to breathe in anyway.”
“NO YOU IDIOT! Not that kind of strange! Just…I don’t know!” She groaned in annoyance, and for a moment Komui could tell she was debating making him drink his solvent. He hoped she didn’t decide to do it, it was poisonous…
“So you’ve just got cold feet, Maria? That’s plenty normal, everyone feels that way before they get married. Just think of how happy you’ll be when it’s all over and the two of you are honeymooning in Barcelona.” Maria let out a short laugh at the thought. Something in it was strained though, and it clued Komui in to the fact that there was something bigger than a case of the wedding blues going on here.
“You’re right, Komui. I’ve just got to think about the happiness we’ll share…” Maria’s gaze was far away, but Komui couldn’t help feel that she wasn’t thinking about Cross.
000
“Ugh, make ‘er go ‘way…” Cross groaned drunkenly as he stumbled into Komui’s bedroom. It was two weeks after the wedding, or at least two weeks had passed since the date the wedding had been set for.
Maria had run away and left only a note behind, explaining that she’d run off with one lover that she had never let go of. Cross had already gone through feelings of shock and anger, and now he was sinking into depression. Komui had never imagined that Cross could feel depressed, it was so…wrong. Komui had never wanted something like this for his friend.
“I can’t make her go away Cross, she isn’t here,” Komui said, sitting up and getting out of bed. Cross tripped over his feet a bit as he made his way over to Komui. The man hadn’t had a drink in two years, his tolerance for alcohol had clearly diminished somewhat. Then again, he’d been trashed for nearly two weeks straight; it was no surprise that it was showing.
“Don’ lie Komuiiii… Y’always made ‘er go…” Komui raised an eyebrow to the man; he couldn’t recall one instance where he’d actually managed to make Maria leave a place when she hadn’t wanted to herself. He’d never had any power over Maria, just like he’d never had any over Cross.
“Don’t be silly Cross, I can’t make her leave if she’s not here.”
“She’s in m’ head… Get ‘er out.”
“Oh yes, just let me reach into your ear and pull your thoughts out that way…” Komui muttered under his breath. Cross missed every word he said.
“You’ve done it b’fore… get her out again.” Komui was pretty sure Cross had finally reached the stage of drunkenness where one started spewing out nonsensical drivel, and decided to put Cross to sleep soon. Komui could go sleep in Lenalee’s room, or he could just stay awake and make sure Cross didn’t over-sleep, but either way he didn’t want to hear all of the strange things Cross was bound to say to him while conscious.
“I’ve never been able to get her out of your thoughts, idiot,” Komui said quietly as he led Cross to his bed. Cross’ eye narrowed and he faced Komui, stopping the younger man in his tracks. He took Komui’s face in his hands (‘Stop fluttering heart, now is hardly the time,’ Komui told himself), and looked his straight in the eyes.
“You can, Komui. Do it now,” Cross demanded, sounding much more sober than he actually was. Komui shook his head, denying Cross. He didn’t want to think about what Cross was saying, the redhead was going to confuse him with his drunken rambling, and he couldn’t allow that.
“I can’t.”
“Please.” As far as Komui had known, that word had never been in Cross’ vocabulary. A pleading Cross was… so, so wrong.
So tempting.
When Komui didn’t make a move to back away or obey, Cross took it upon himself to initiate contact. He drew himself closer, so close to Komui’s lips that the young man could feel the heat of his master’s breath on him, so promising… But at the last moment Komui denied himself and pushed away.
“You’re drunk,” he said simply, more as a reminder to himself than to Cross, “I can’t.” Komui wasn’t going to do let Cross do something that he would regret later, he didn’t want to even be tempted to let it happen. Taking a deep, stabilizing breath, Komui walked away from Cross and left the room.
Komui wished he could do the wrong thing for once.
<

Fallen Leaves

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:18:15 GMT

Title: Fallen Leaves
Author: Sayasama
Requester: nagaina_ryuuoh
Request: Rinali & Kanda; Autumnal melancholy
Genres: Gen with romantic hinting.
Rating: G
Summary: Everything dies in the fall. A surprising someone has a positive view on this.
Notes: Never written Kanda/Rinali, but the pairing is one of Saya’s favorites. She hasn’t written anything general or slightly het in a while, but she wants to try writing for these two.

Fallen Leaves
A little whispering sigh filled the cool early morning air as golden brown leaves whirled around on the wind. The air was crisp, cool, much too cold for her to wear her short skirts in without a long coat. Lenalee sat in the courtyard of the Black Order’s new headquarters, watching wistfully as leaves fell to the ground. Softly, prettily, they floated around and gently landed. It was such a pretty sight, so pleasing to the eye that it was easy to forget that these leaves were dead.
Everything around Lenalee was dead, in fact. The courtyard was surely breathtaking in the spring and summer, but it couldn’t escape autumn’s deadly breath. This is how the courtyard had been when the Order had first moved here, and Lenalee felt that the depressing scene of wilted flowers and fallen leaves was a very appropriate welcome.
Another sigh passed through her lips as she pulled her legs up onto the short bench that was placed directly in front of what was probably a glorious rose bush. Wrapping her arms around her knees to keep them close, Lenalee tilted her head to the side and wondered why she was here again, bringing down her own mood.
The sound of familiar footsteps made her look up and see an unlikely companion. Kanda wasn’t looking at her, but instead his eyes followed her previous line of vision; he took in the browning, bending rose bush and the trees that surrounded it with an indifferent scowl. He knew her well, well enough to know that she was a bit depressed. She always got this way during the fall, but it was especially bad this year because of all the unsavory happenings of the recent past.
“Not much out here is actually dead, you realize,” he said in an even tone that held no hint of real emotion. He didn’t care about the not-quite-dead plants, just the girl who was bound to catch her death of a cold if she sat out here too long. He would never bother telling her that though, he had a feeling she knew anyway. They’d known each other far too long to not know what the other was thinking all of the time.
“I know.” After a long moment of heavy silence, Lenalee finally responded. “It all looks dead though, and that’s just as sad. Besides, all the leaves are definitely dead and gone.”
Kanda sighed and shook his head. He wasn’t going to bother explaining to her that they were surrounded by plants and not humans with souls and emotions or animals with senses and the ability to think. He knew she knew that, she was just being sentimental. This was all probably very symbolic to her; being surrounded by death on any level was something she’d never gotten used to, not the way he had. Slowly, as if not wanting to disturb the peace of the place, or perhaps because he simply didn’t feel that there was any need to rush (indeed there was none), he crossed the remaining distance between them and sat beside her on the small bench.
“Yes, they’re dead, but they’ll never be gone,” Kanda said, his tone a smidgen lighter than normal in a way Lenalee had come to recognize as his positive tone. Kanda rarely ever used it; he needed to work on sounding optimistic. It was cute in an awkward sort of way to see him trying to cheer her up though.
“Of course they’ll disappear eventually,” she replied, not quite seeing what he meant.
“Not quite. They won’t disappear, they’ll just return to the earth they came from; ashes to ashes, dust to dust. “
“They might as well be gone then.”
“But then when everything comes back to life, the earth will be used to feed new life. Maybe you can’t see them anymore, but the leaves will still be there, they’ll always be useful,” Kanda went on as though she’d never said a thing. The thought of being useful after death was one he applied to more than just foliage.
“You’re exceptionally positive today, Kanda. Unusually talkative, too.”
“And you’re exceptionally negative and quiet.” Kanda’s expression was annoyed, but she knew he was just embarrassed because of what she’d pointed out; she knew he would be. She wasn’t sure if it was because of his words or simply because he was here at all, but Lenalee found herself feeling much better than she had before.
“I don’t feel so negative anymore,” she replied, pushing a strand of hair out of her face. Kanda just made a noise of acknowledgement in the back of his throat.
“It was nice of you to come out here and keep me company.”
“I—“ Clearly Kanda wanted to deny having done anything nice intentionally, but he knew that Lenalee would keep saying it until he just gave up and let her think what she pleased. The look on her face just drove that fact home, so he instead sighed and hung his head.
“That was not my intention.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t.”
“Che.” Kanda abruptly stood up, dusting himself off even though he clearly wasn‘t dirty by any measure. “It’s freezing out here, I’m leaving,” he said, his voice quiet. Lenalee looked at him questioningly when he didn’t move from his spot. He stared back, his expression more impatient than hers.
“Well?”
“ Well what, Kanda?”
“Are you coming inside, or are you going to stay out here and get yourself sick?” Lenalee smiled quickly, before covering her mouth with her hand, politely quieting her giggles. For someone who was so determined to be uncaring, he sure did care a lot.
“That depends, what’s waiting for me inside?”
“A pony, or whatever it is little girls want…”
“Hey!” Kanda turned to walk away, and Lenalee followed with a bit of an indignant scowl. “I am not a little girl anymore!”
“Could’ve fooled me.” Kanda was thankful for the cold, it gave him an excuse for his burning ears and tinted face, which was hidden well behind his bangs. He was pretty sure he knew better than anyone that she was no longer a little girl. She probably knew that, too. They knew each other too well for her not to.

Less than Innocent, More than Like, 35/?

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 15:19:32 GMT

Title: Less Than Innocent, More than Like
Pairing: LaviYuu
Rated: PG for the moment...Just because Lavi's a bad boy >:]
Warnings: Well, it's yaoi...but you already knew that, surely. No spoilers, because this is all speculation about their past. Just don't take this like it's really their past, and you're good.
Disclaimer: Saya owns the play, but not the actors. They belong to Hoshino.
Summary: Lavi hasn't even been in the Order for two weeks, and he's already bored with it! Lucky for him a very interesting new exorcist comes in around the same time. Will Kanda be simple entertainment? Or will unfortunate circumstances force Kanda to stay close to Lavi?

ahaha....Saya failed a little here...^^; The explanation of what happened just didn't make it into this chapter....but it's in the next, so don't hurt me? lalala~

35. The Second Step is Denial
“So, you’ve given up on getting answers from me and went behind my back to ask Yori, hm?”
Lavi cursed under his breath. He’d been walking toward Yuu with the intent of sitting next to him and maybe surprising him, but he should’ve known that would be impossible; Kanda’s ability to sense his presence hadn’t been dulled by a year apart. Lavi sighed and stood beside him anyway, shaking his head no to Kanda’s statement. Kanda couldn’t see the motion for he had his eyes shut.
“Nope. While I did indeed ask him ‘bout what happened, I wouldn’t say I went behind your back. I wasn’t exactly tryin’ to hide the fact that I was curious, you know.”
“Che.” Kanda rolled his eyes, but didn’t deign to look at the redhead. Lavi had just been so excessively annoying lately, Kanda found it hard to suppress his murderous impulses when he looked at him. “What did he tell you, anyway?” Kanda just wanted to make sure that if Lavi knew the story, then he knew the truth; Yori was famous for being a good story-teller. He wasn’t a out-right liar, he just liked to embellish things.
“Nothin’ much, didn’t even tell me what happened really. He just said he double-crossed ya, because he was angry and jealous of you, so he took it out on you. Seemed sorry enough when he told me.” Kanda scoffed at what Lavi had learned, it was hardly anything and Lavi was no doubt left squirming in his skin, dying to know more. Served the bastard right, in Kanda’s opinion.
“Seems that he can act sorry around just about everyone but me,” Kanda snorted; it seemed so pathetic to him that Yori could face everyone but him. Then again, he supposed he was a bit intimidating. Lavi finally sat down next to Kanda in the yard; it seemed the older boy was meditating outside today.
“You’re not exactly a forgivin’ soul Yuu-chan… I mean what would you do if he did apologize directly to you?” Lavi looked up at Yuu from an angle and Kanda opened one eye to look down at him. He had to wonder though, just what he would do if that were to happen. His pride wouldn’t allow him to just…accept, would it? But he could respect a person who owned up to their wrongdoings… sort of. Honestly, he had no idea.
“Nothing,” Kanda said, deciding that was the best answer. He probably wouldn’t do anything. It wasn’t like his whole attitude would change over a few words. Maybe Yuu wouldn’t be particularly angry over what happened anymore, but it wasn’t like he was now either. Kanda didn’t really care much about what had actually happened anymore, he just didn’t like or trust Yori anymore. But he wasn’t a nice person to begin with, so what difference would it make if he did accept Yori’s apology? He’d still act the same, surely. In the end, he really would just do nothing.
“…Are you serious Yuu-chan? That’s a sort of lackluster response. It’s no small wonder the guy doesn’t say anything to ya, there’s no merit in it. I mean, to lower ones self and ask forgiveness, then not get anything for it?”
“Yeah well asking forgiveness isn’t really about yourself, it’s about the person you’re apologizing to.”
“Wrong Yuu.” Lavi wagged a finger at Kanda, which the black haired boy couldn’t see because he had closed his eye again. “Everyone in this world does what they do because they hope to get something in return. People apologize because they hope to be forgiven. But when it comes to Yuu-chan there’s no room to hope for something like that, so he doesn’t apologize. ‘Sides, yer one scary guy, you know?”
Kanda smirked just a bit at this, a hint of teeth showing behind his lips. It was such an arrogant expression and it fit his countenance so well, Lavi couldn’t help but stare a little. He wondered if Kanda was aware of his staring. Certainly he had to realize how attractive he was, and how much attention he got. Maybe Kanda just brushed it all off, and ignored the staring and appreciative sighs people gave when he walked by? Perhaps he secretly reveled in it? But Kanda didn’t really get much of an ego boost from such things, it probably really screwed with his own conceptions of his masculinity when people brought attention to his pretty boy looks. More than anything, he seemed annoyed by other people’s admiration.
“So you think I’m scary, Lavi?” Said redhead gulped loudly; that seemed like a trick question and aside from that, it was rare for Kanda to say his name without acting as though the word burned his tongue. Somehow…it was sort of seductive. Not that Lavi’s could be seduced or anything.
When Kanda received no answer, he opened his eye again and questioningly raised an eyebrow. He seemed completely unaware of what he was doing to Lavi, and for that the redhead was thankful; if Kanda were to react to him angrily, he’d be too cute to resist. It was a good thing Kanda was so focused on meditating.
“Lavi, are you fevered? Your face is red and if you get sick now, we’ll be one exorcist down while on the job. You’d make a real shitty replacement if you got sick.”
Damnit, he’d done it again with the name-using! Even with his much-less-than-worried tone, it was still strangely seductive. Why was Kanda doing this to him, it was like he didn’t want Lavi to hold back or something! Then again, now that Lavi thought about it, it had been a really long time since he’d really done anything to Kanda; maybe the raven-haired beauty was secretly craving him? No, he was giving himself too much credit, Kanda definitely hated it when he did things like that… Or did he?
Well, there was only possible way to find out, huh? Lavi’s eye quickly (carelessly) scanned the area to make sure there was no one watching, and leaned over to steal a kiss from Yuu-chan. Kanda’s reaction was immediate – he punched Lavi hard, his face red up to his ears.
“NOT IN MY MOTHER’S HOUSE YA DON’T PERVERT!” Kanda huffed angrily, before stalking away to find somewhere new to meditate uninterrupted. Goodness, Lavi was so indecent, doing things like that even while in Kanda’s own house! He didn’t need his childhood home being pervaded by memories of Lavi sexually harassing him.
Lavi chuckled a bit at Kanda’s reaction once his jaw stopped hurting. Kanda was so red and cute… ‘I’ve still got it,’ he thought as a grin slowly grew on his face. That hurt a bit though, it sure was painful to be punched two days in a row.
“Guess I deserved it though…” A little sigh passed his lips.
000
“That was interesting.”
Kanda stopped in his tracks and internally groaned. Of all the people to have witness Lavi’s lascivious behavior…!
“Che.” Kanda decided it might be for the best if he just kept walking, and made a point of ignoring the older boy who seemed to be determined to follow him.
“I’ve gotta say, I didn’t think anyone would really be able to get away with kissing you whenever they damn well pleased.” Yori inwardly twitched at the realization that what he’d just seen lent proof to what Lavi had told him the night before. That redhead must’ve been doing something right, if Kanda didn’t hate him by now. On the contrary, the fact that Yuu hadn’t killed Lavi yet hinted to the brunette actually liking the redhead… Another troubling thought. His eyebrows furrowed together.
“I’m not allowed to kill my co-workers,” Kanda replied through gritted teeth, whether it was because he didn’t want to talk to Yori or because he really wanted to kill Lavi, the older boy wasn’t sure.
“You’re not allowed to be at home right now either, and yet here you are,” he pointed out, as though to make Kanda’s denial more obvious. “You like that guy, don’t you?”
Kanda finally looked back at Yori, his eyes wide and surprised. No way did he like Lavi! The kid was a fake and his real self was a heartless, unfeeling sadist. There was nothing to be liked in that jerk who couldn’t keep his damned nose out of anyone’s business, or keep his hands and lips to himself, for that matter.
“You’re completely wrong. If I injure a co-worker, then I have to do more to make up for the loss; harming my comrades makes the group less efficient. I’m not doing anyone any harm by being at home, though.”
“Always so cool and logical, Kanda-san.” Yori sighed and shook his head. “I guess you’re right though. Still, I imagine you wouldn’t go so easy on anyone else who did something like that to you.”
“Why do you seem fixated on the idea of me liking that rabbit brat, when I clearly don’t?” Kanda asked, his brows furrowing as he gave Yori a confused look. He didn’t understand why Yori cared at all anyway, and at the moment his biggest question was about where Yori had gotten that crazy idea from.
“Hm, why indeed,” Yori replied vaguely, and decided it would be for the best to leave Kanda to himself before the younger boy exploded over not being left alone. With a small little wave, Yori turned and walked away.
Even though Kanda was indeed thankful that he was finally going to get some peace, he still didn’t understand what felt so wrong about all of this.
000
“You know, it’s because you don’t make it obvious that he never notices.” Yori jumped when he heard that damned voice come from his left. Well, he’d startled Kanda, he supposed it was his turn to be surprised.
“What are you talking about, you stupid kid?” Yori asked, scowling.
“Hey, I may be a bit younger than you, but I’m definitely not stupid, so let’s drop that part of your description, hm?” Yori rolled his eyes, but decided there was no need for name-calling anyway. “Anyway, as I was saying, the reason Yuu-chan never realizes that you like him is because you don’t make it blatantly obvious. He’s as dense as lead, though you probably already know that.”
Yori gave Lavi a questioning look, is eyebrows furrowed. Just what was Lavi getting at here? Lavi seemed to realize that he was genuinely confused, and covered his face with his hands. He shook his head as if he were in disbelief; Goodness, so both Yori and Yuu were clueless? Well, Lavi supposed that was a good thing; who knew what sort of strange turns their relationship would’ve taken had Yori realized his own feelings earlier? Lavi shuttered at the thought.
“What are you getting at Red? I’m not catching your drift,” Yori said honestly. Lavi sighed and shook his head some more.
“You like Yuu-chan, right?”
“Well he was my best friend for the better half of my life. I did something horrible, but I never stopped liking him.”
“Gah, you don’t get it!” Lavi shout-whispered at Yori, pointing for dramatic effect. “You friggin’ like him you dolt! Not as a friend, but in a romantic sorta way! The fact that you punched me yesterday over stealin’ kisses from him-”
“-wait, kisses as in the plural form?”
“Never said it was just one, anyway-” This time Lavi managed to catch the fist that came flying toward his face; they say third time’s the charm and all, “-I rest my case. You’re jealous.”
“Not jealous. Twitchy.”
Lavi snorted at the denial, and shrugged. “If you say so,” he agreed in a sing-song voice that suggested he didn’t believe it for a second. Well, it wasn’t as if he cared if Yori realized he had a crush on his ex-best friend or not, after all if he did that might be troublesome for Lavi.
But wait, it wouldn’t be troublesome at all, it would just be another thing to put down in some secret tome somewhere. What could it possibly get in the way of? Goodness, lately Lavi had been thinking the strangest things, they made no sense at all. It was almost as if having a potential rival was—
Rival? Rival in what?
Lavi shook the idea out of his mind, refusing to continue that train of thought.
“Well, I’ve got a town to patrol so if you’ll excuse me,” Lavi said, dismissing himself from Yori’s presence. Marie was coming back from his shift now, which meant it was Lavi’s turn. He decided that it was probably Yori that was making him think strange things, he definitely needed to keep his distance.
000
Hayate and Naoko had been watching for days and Yuu, Lavi, and Yori interacted, and they had learned all of two things; one, Yuu exuded homo-pheromones to which Lavi and Yori were highly susceptible, and two, none of them were aware of it. Neither of the siblings was sure of what to think of that bizarre love triangle either. They knew Yuu was a looker and on the feminine side (and Naoko took full responsibility for that second characteristic), but they’d never thought he’d really attract guys so easily…
“Sorta sucks to say, but Yori doesn’t stand a chance, does he?” Hayate asked Naoko, watching the pensive man from where he couldn’t see them. Hayate knew Yori much better than he knew Lavi, so it was only natural that he had a bit of a bias against the redhead.
“Well, considering he doesn’t even realize his feelings himself, I’d say that no, he doesn’t,” Naoko replied bluntly. She had a bias against all people who were after her beloved older brother. “Then again, Lavi-san seems to be in denial himself, and Yuu-nii doesn’t seem to care much for either of them.”
“Wait, how is Lavi-san is denial? We saw him kiss Yuu this morning, you remember holding me back, I’m sure.”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t seem to really care, or at least he doesn’t want to.”
“WHAT?! That foreigner is playing with my precious brother’s emotions? I cannot allow this to go on any longer!” Hayate shouted, and prepared to stomp off in search of the redhead. Naoko sighed and tripped him before he could get far. For a moment, Hayate just stayed on the ground.
“That was mean, Nao-chan.”
“It needed to be done.”
000
“Kanda.” Marie stopped Yuu at the front gate with a hand on his shoulder. “I hear more than one akuma in the town tonight, be careful.”
Kanda cursed at the news; the area around the town was protected by innumerous barriers and finders, but there were cracks in that protection, and if more akuma were getting in that meant the cracks were getting bigger. The akuma were trying to break into his home, and he would not stand for this.
“Che, we’ll have to start going out of the barrier’s limits to eliminate them. Damnit, we should’ve just done that in the first place.” Kanda looked annoyed to Marie, so he didn’t bother to point out that the only reason they hadn’t done that was because they were visiting Kanda’s family. Then again, that wasn’t Kanda’s fault anyway; it was Lavi and Komui’s…
“We’ll decide what to do tomorrow, for now just concentrate on getting home safely,” Marie said evenly, and let Kanda go. Kanda nodded once to him, and left.
000
Winter came early in Hokkaido. The air nipped at Kanda’s skin, and it smelled like it was ready to snow. He remembered watching the first snow with his siblings and Yori when he was little, and he felt a little nostalgic, knowing it was going to snow again soon. A particularly strong wind sent a horrid chill up his spine, and he decided that he was stealing Lavi’s scarf when he got back. Of course there were plenty of winter clothes that were better suited to going out in the cold at his house, but he hadn’t stolen Lavi’s scarf in a while, it just seemed like something his should do.
“Excuse me Onii-san, but it’s dangerous for you to walk around alone at night.” Kanda’s hand immediately moved to Mugen when he heard a young voice behind him. It was high-pitched and definitely female. He turned to see a little girl, just as alone as he was, standing in the middle of the road. Kanda wasn’t stupid, he knew this girl was an akuma, and judging by the way Mugen was begging to be used he could tell that it knew that, too.
“It’s really dangerous to be alone, exorcist-sama.” The young girl’s skin started bubbling, and Kanda unsheathed Mugen. He was quick to charge at it and cut it down; judging by its slow transformation it was probably a lower-level akuma. Kanda heard rustling to his right and quickly jumped away from his position just in time to miss getting shot. There was another akuma, a higher-level one, laying in wait. He’d figured the first was a decoy, Kanda had known he’d be ambushed the moment Marie had told him there was more than one akuma in the town. Now the only question was, how many were there?
“Aha! You won’t beat me so easily, exorcist!” The second one cackled as it came out of hiding. The shadow of a third lurked behind a corner. Kanda drew himself into his fighting stance and prepare for combat.
000
It was Marie’s turn to sleep, but the sounds of a far-off battle kept him awake. He could tell from the sounds that Kanda was winning against the akuma, but worry pervaded his mind nonetheless. In the end, he’d chosen to stay up with Lavi, whose turn it was to watch over the house. He was amazed he got any sleep really, with all the battles he heard at night.
“Ah, the fighting is over,” Marie stated with a sigh of relief. He and Lavi hadn’t really said much to each other that night, for Marie was too concentrated on Kanda’s fight and Lavi didn’t want to disrupt him. “Kanda is coming home now.” Marie furrowed his eyebrows at this, it was early morning, about two or three, but Kanda’s shift didn’t end for another two hours and the raven-haired boy never came home early.
“You serious?” Lavi asked, looking worried. “Something must be wrong then, he’d never come home early for no reason.”
“He’s probably injured badly,” Marie agreed. Kanda wasn’t one to come home with his tail between his legs, but he was also sensible enough to know when he should seek medical help. Well, he was only that sensible after all of his enemies were dead. “Go inside and get one of the first aid kits.”
Lavi nodded and headed inside to do Marie’s bidding, hoping all the while that Kanda would come home with only scratches and bruises, though he knew that was asking for too much.
000
Kanda hissed when a snowflake fell into his open wound. He’d been shot, he hated being shot, it took too long to heal wounds made by akuma poison bullets. He was also feeling ridiculously cold and more than a bit light-headed from bloodloss. More than anything though, he hated that he’d gotten a wound on his back. Besides that fact that it made moving incredibly painful no matter what he did, it also showed that he hadn’t been doing his utmost to be careful; the sign of a good warrior was never receiving a wound on one’s back.
Shit, he was cold. He wanted to be inside, needed to be somewhere warm right that moment. He didn’t even care where he went or who was there, as long as it was warm and his host wasn’t another akuma. Damnit, he was better than this, how could he have gotten so seriously injured? He wanted to be home…
But he was in pain, and his body was trying to heal itself as he moved which only made the pain worse. He was pretty sure his back was bare of everything, skin included and it probably wasn’t wise to expose his flesh to the cold like this. He needed to be inside, he didn’t care if he wasn’t at home.
When he came to that door, he hardly took a moment to think of what to do. Deciding that it was more important to get warm and healed, Kanda barged into the only other house besides his own that he’d ever felt comfortable just walking into.
Even as his vision blurred and his body sagged against the doorway, Kanda noticed that Yori’s house had become much cleaner since he’d last been inside of it. Yori kept a better house than his father had, that was for sure. Without bothering to call for the owner of the house or get permission to enter, Kanda closed the door and started looking around for the medical supplies he knew Yori kept around the house. He didn’t really care if technically he was breaking into Yori’s house with every intention of pilfering some gauze and antiseptic, he could just explain himself later, when he wasn’t so damn cold…
“Holy hell--! Yuu, what happened?” It seemed he’d caused more of a ruckas than he’d intended to when he’d entered, for a sleep-rumpled Yori was walking out of the master bedroom, looking at him with wide eyes.
“Don’t….call me that,” Kanda ground out. Yori snorted as he ran over to Kanda, helping him to a couch. He was careful to lay Kanda on his stomach and made sure not to handle him too roughly. Kanda both did and did not appreciate the treatment. More than anything it was embarrassing being helped by Yori, shameful.
“Now is hardly the time, Yuu,” Yori said as he quickly grabbed the med kit he kept in the supply closet. He brought it over to the couch and opened it as he inspected the wound. Goodness, there was hardly any skin left on Kanda’s back, and everything was an odd black shade— it was the akuma virus, though Yori didn’t know that. He moved to grab the disinfectant, but Kanda caught his hand before he could.
“I can do it myself, don’t you dare touch that wound,” Yuu commanded, he could feel his body fighting the virus, he knew it was there and he didn’t want Yori touching it. He wasn’t sure, but chances were that the virus could be contracted by touching it when it was on someone else. Whether that could happen or not, Kanda wasn’t ready to risk it.
“This is no time for pride you idiot, there’s no way you can do this yourself! At least let me disinfect this wound!”
“NO!” Kanda shouted with more volume that Yori thought he could in his current condition. Yori blinked at him for a moment, but it was clear he wasn’t going to do what Kanda said. “There’s poison in the wound, if you touch it you might die.”
“Then that’s all the more reason to clean it!”
“Idiot, I won’t die, you will! If you really need to play nurse then clean some of my other wounds, but don’t you dare touch the one on my back.” Yori pressed his lips into a thin line, and for a moment he glared at Kanda, before conceding.
“Fine,” he said, kneeling before Kanda taking his arm instead. His skin was littered with gashes and bruises, some of the smaller ones were already healing over. Yori watched as a few shallow cuts sizzled out of existence. “Whoa…weird skin,” he murmured, but said nothing else as he generously applied disinfectant to the larger cuts. It stung, but Kanda hardly noticed it, his back had his full attention.
“You know, I’m amazed that you didn’t just let me touch the poison and see what happened,” Yori commented as he worked; the silence was grating. He was a bit curious about how adamant Kanda was about not letting him touch his poisoned wound though; it was almost as if Kanda didn’t want to risk him getting hurt.
“Che, I might not like you but I wouldn’t wish death on you.” Because really, as much as Kanda told people to die and whatnot, he dealt with enough dead people and death in general and he didn’t like it. “Besides, I don’t want to have to clean it up when you turn to ashes.” And then Kanda had some more selfish reasons for not wanting people to die of akuma poisoning around him. That one went right over Yori’s head, so he disregarded it.
An awkward moment of silence passed between the two of them, interrupted only by the occasional hiss of pain from Kanda. Yori didn’t like this, he didn’t like the fact that the person he’d cared about for so long was now going out and getting hurt like this. Did Yuu always come home looking like this? Did he get home in worse condition? It wasn’t right to make a child fight in a war, it wasn’t right to make Kanda fight. Yori was worried, he was afraid for Yuu; there was no way a child could survive for long on the front lines, was there?
“Hey Yuu-”
“-Don’t call me that.”
“Shut up Yuu, I’m trying to apologize.” Kanda blinked widely for a moment, surprised by the command.
“Alright then, let’s hear it.”
“I’m sorry… for what I did. It was stupid of me, there’s no excuse for my actions,” Yori said solemnly, his head bowed as low as he could put it while still tending to Kanda’s wounds. For one long minute Kanda stared at him intently, trying to find any hint of a lie on the man’s face. His voice was truthful, and from what Kanda could see so was his face.
Now what did he do? Kanda was just as unsure of how he was supposed to react to an apology as he had been this morning. He was pretty sure Yori was being sincere, for the man had no reason to trick him, and there was no point in even bringing up the subject again after all these years if he hadn’t been honestly bothered by it. Besides, Yori wasn’t a humble person, he didn’t bow his head for no reason.
“…Two questions,” Kanda finally said after a long moment of silence.
“Shoot.”
“Why did you decide to say that now?”
“Well, the way I see it, you might as well be half-dead right now,” Yori said as he walked around the couch to get to the other side of Kanda’s body, “so I figured that if you got really pissed at me for bringing it up now, you couldn’t kill me.”
“Che, still a fucking coward. And even like this I could still get you.” Kanda huffed, though he could tell that Yori wasn’t being completely serious with his answer.
Yori chuckled and rubbed his nose, “That’s probably true,” he muttered, staring at Kanda’s back in surprise; the black had faded to gray, and he could actually see Kanda’s skin stitching itself together again.
His answer had only been partially honest, as he knew Yuu had picked up on. Yori wasn’t afraid of Kanda lashing out at him, but he had felt compelled to say something after seeing Kanda in such a state. Yuu was part of a war now, and seeing him come through his door looking so battered had made that fact so much more real to him. Did he always come home this way? Did he come home worse? That was currently Yori’s most prominent thought, it repeated in his mind like a broken record. Yori feared that if he didn’t say something now, while Kanda was still alive and with him that he might lose his chance to for good.
But of course he couldn’t tell Yuu that, it would hurt his pride to know that Yori was unsure if he could make it through the war.
“You had a second question, Yuu-chan?” Yori asked, tactfully changing the subject. Kanda opened his mouth, clearing intending to say some variation of “Don’t call me that,” but he decided against it and shut his mouth again. Yori took that as the closest thing he’d get to Kanda saying he accepted Yori’s apology somewhat.
“…Why’d you do it?” Kanda asked quietly, as if he were only just realizing he was seriously injured and should be taking it easy. Yori had expected the question but it still came as a surprise to him, and he accidently pressed too much disinfectant into the gash he was working on. Kanda hissed and reflexively jerked away. Yori absentmindedly mumbled an apology.
“Honestly, I was taking out my anger on you, even though you had nothing to do with the problem. You know how my father was, he was an abusive bastard and you were usually the one patching me up every morning. For the longest time I was just happy knowing that you and your family would take care of me, but then things got worse. I started getting more serious injuries that I didn’t want to show you, didn’t want anyone to know about…
“The more banged up I got, the angrier I started getting, at everything, anything. I didn’t really want to think it but something in me started making me believe that you were just taking pity on me, and I didn’t want pity, it’s cruel. I didn’t want to be a charity case, I felt like I was being made fun of behind my back or something, though logically I knew that would never happen. But I needed someone to take my anger out on, someone I had the power to tear down myself. I couldn’t overtake my father, but he was the real problem. So I took it out on you because you were there and actually cared enough to worry about me… In the end I just made a regrettable mistake.”
Ah, so that was it. It made sense now, why Yori would set him up like that. He’d pondered over that for so long before finally just giving up on finding an answer. The attack had seemed so completely random to him at the time he couldn’t make any sense of it. Yuu supposed that considering this new information, he’d made the wrong decision in being so unforgiving. Perhaps he should’ve asked why Yori had done it a long time ago? It sounded like that had been the wrong time to leave the older man alone.
Finally, after a long thoughtful silence, Kanda exhaled a large breath, ruffling his bangs somewhat. “Whatever, I don’t really care about what happened anymore anyway. I was just…curious about it. So let it go already, I’m tired and I can’t sleep if you’re busy floating around in your guilt.”
“Floating in my guilt? Most people don’t exactly consider that a light emotion, Yuu-chan,” Yori pointed out with a snicker. Kanda just scoffed, and once again realized that he was indeed in a lot of pain and very tired from fighting and healing. Closing his eyes, he tried to block out the sting of the antiseptic and drifted off to sleep.
000
“He’s stopped moving.” Marie was wide-eyed with worried when Lavi came back with the medical supplies. Kanda had taken a little turn and had stopped moving, and Marie couldn’t tell why. He was worried though, the snow was coming down pretty hard now and if Kanda had collapsed while still outside… well it definitely wouldn’t be good for him.
“You mean he won’t make it home?” Lavi asked, his own worry a little more real than he wanted it to be. Marie nodded quickly in response. The snow had gotten really deep, really fast, and they had to make it to Kanda before he froze to death or something equally horrible happened to him. It was exceptionally difficult to trudge through, and the wind was almost deafening to Marie. Lavi was having a hard time seeing anything but white as snowflakes swirled around in dizzying spirals.
The street the Kandas lived on was ridiculously long, and apparently Kanda had stopped moving somewhere near the very end of it. It took a good ten minutes just to reach the place that Marie was fairly certain was the general area Kanda had stopped moving in. No one was there when they stopped though, and for a minute they worried that Kanda had passed out and was being buried under the snow. But no, it wasn’t deep enough to hide anyone under so that couldn’t have happened.
Lavi looked around for some sort of clue that would lead him to Kanda, while Marie attempted to hear over the wind. The redhead found the faint traces of footprints in the snow just as Marie heard a familiar scoff from a nearby house. They both turned to follow their leads and ended up in front of an unfamiliar house. It took a few minutes to actually reach the front door though, damned long walkway…
“I hear him in there, he’s speaking with… Yori,” Marie said, sounding a bit surprised by this. Kanda had treated Yori with a mixture of hostility and indifference ever since he’d seen the older man, so it seemed strange that Kanda would be with that person.
“Hm, this must be his place then. Yuu probably stopped here ‘cause it was closer to him than his house,” Lavi decided, thinking that maybe Yuu really didn’t hate Yori so much if he’d actually come here while injured. “In any case, we can’t let him bleed out in Yori’s house, right?” Lavi said, and the two remembered that they were supposed to be getting to their injured friend so that they could take care of him.
Lavi didn’t bother to knock, and entered the house without invitation or even a proper greeting. He had intended to demand to be led to Yuu, but when he actually came in, he couldn’t find it in himself to raise his voice.
Yuu was lying on the couch in the front room, clearly asleep. The only reason he was clearly asleep was because Yori was sitting in front of him, looking tired and like he could use a good night’s sleep. He was slowly petting Yuu’s hair, gently pushing the younger boy’s bangs away from his face whenever they fell into his eyes. Marie couldn’t see the scene, so he gave no reaction, but Lavi could, and something burned in him that he refused to name.
Instead of being surprised by the second break-in of the night, Yori just looked up at the two of them and smiled. “Figured you guys would show up eventually. I patched Yuu up for the most part, so everything is taken care of here. He just wouldn’t let me touch his back wound, said it was poisoned.” Yori’s voice was calm and oddly peaceful. It sort of pissed Lavi off because he could see the gaping hole in Kanda’s skin and he didn’t think such nonchalance had any place in this situation.
Marie diffused the situation without even realizing that there was one. “Thank you, Yori-san, we’ll take over from here,” he said, holding up the Order-issued medical kit they’d brought. Yori nodded, and made way for the two exorcists.

Running From Sunrise, Chasing the Moon 9/?

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 00:44:17 GMT

Title: Running from Sunrise, Chasing the Moon
Pairing: For this chapter, just LaviYuu
Rated: M because this story will get filled with fail porn, and centers around pedophila. This chapters very innocent and work safe though.
Warnings: This chapter is a little limey....but nothing serious...
Disclaimer: Saya owns the play, but not the actors. They belong to Hoshino.
Summary: He's running from what he can't avoid, and chasing after what he can never have. Allen was content serving his master, so why...?

This chapter doesn't actually have much to do with the plot as it is now. Someday this will all be relevant, or some of it will be but at the moment... not so much. Still, Saya's had Kanda's backstory in her mind for so long now that she just couldn't help herself... It needed to be done. Next chapter is Komui's backstory, and if anyone is looking for a specific character's full backstory, now would be a good time to say so.

9. Dependence
He was being followed, and he knew it. Kanda’s sense of unease increased the longer he felt the presence of those strange foreigners behind him. He wasn’t going to run unless his pursuers actually approached him, he was just going to casually walk to the police station. Yuu wouldn’t risk having these people following him home, but the local authorities would probably be of some help.
Either his stalkers realized what he was doing and decided to act, or they were just fed up with following him, for they finally made a move to grab him. Kanda swore under his breath (swears he’d heard his father mutter while doing bills), and ducked out of his potential captors’ reach. He had no idea why these people were after him, he was just shopping for his mother. It wasn’t like he’d done anything to annoy these people.
The market was pretty crowded, and Kanda, being all of 5 years old, had the advantage in this situation because he could move easily in the mass of bodies. His burly pursuers couldn’t move with the same ease he could. Internally, he groaned when he realized that he was quickly making his way to an area with a lower concentration of people. He was getting tired, too, and he wondered if he’d make it to the station before those brutes caught him.
In the end, he couldn’t make it. He felt a thick arm wrap around his waist and a large hand covered most of his face. There was a cloth in the man’s hand. It smelled a bit funny. Kanda wondered how long he could go without breathing, he was wary of taking in a breath of whatever was on the cloth. If he struggled enough maybe he could escape before he got light-headed. He couldn’t get out of this person’s grip though, and he could feel himself being lifted off the ground. Finally he needed to breathe and tried to take as small a breath as he could. It seemed hopeless though, he was getting woozy and spots were appearing in his vision.
Soon enough he stopped struggling and passed out.
000
When he opened his eyes, he was in a dark room. He felt like he’d been manhandled and he didn’t like it. There was some rustling coming from somewhere to his left, and as his eyes adjusted to the dark, he looked over to see what seemed to be a group of children like himself. Slowly he got up, though it was a bit painful, he felt as though he’d been beaten in his sleep and wondered how he didn’t wake up.
“Who are you? Where are we? Do you know?” He asked, and for a moment he received no answer. He squinted his eyes to try and focus on the faces of the children, and realized that two of them looked like they were teenagers. There was about six of them, and Kanda wasn’t really sure if they were boys or girls.
“We’re on a ship,” one of the older ones finally replied, voice indicating it was a man. “We’re being brought to England.”
“Why?” England? Where the hell was that? Kanda didn’t know much about the world outside of his little town.
The other teen snorted, and replied, “They thought we were girls and kidnapped us. We were supposed to be sold, but the market for boys isn’t exactly booming.” This one sounded much more sarcastic and pessimistic than the first, his voice was harsh and so was his glare. Kanda decided based on his words that everyone in the room was male.
“What’s gonna happen to us…?” One of the smaller children asked, he sounded about Kanda’s age. The kinder of the older boys hugged the child reassuringly.
“I’m not sure, but we’re going to protect you kids, alright?” He said, and gave the other teen a sharp look. “You are going to help me protect them from these people, aren’t you?” The rude teen huffed, but nodded. Kanda determined based on their interaction that they had probably known each other before they were brought here or they had been on the ship longer.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll keep ya as safe as we can, but there’s only so much we can do so try an’ make it easy on us…” The younger four kids seemed to derive hope from their words, but Kanda wasn’t convinced. That didn’t seem like the sort of promise they could keep.
000
There were other people on this ship, Kanda discovered as the voyage wore on. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been there, maybe a few weeks, maybe a month. They were passing through very warm waters at the moment, but no one who wasn’t a crew member was allowed off the ship, so they had no idea where they were. Even if Kanda had known where they were, he’d still have no idea of just where he was. The kinder of the older boys had attempted to teach him a bit about the world, but Kanda decided he must be wrong the minute he said the world was round. Yeah, sure it was. The ground under his feet had always seemed pretty flat to Kanda.
It was difficult to live on this ship. The crew treated them like shit, they worked the boys until they were passing out on deck, and whoever slacked off was beaten. That’s what the crew had intended to do at least, but the two older boys made good on their promise and took the blows dealt whenever they could. Kanda didn’t like being a burden though, so he and the rest of the kids worked as hard as they could to avoid getting the two teens hurt. It was hard to keep their strength up though, when all they were fed was watery gruel and bread.
Even so, Kanda thanked God that he wasn’t a woman. Most of the other “cargo” on the ship was young women and girls, and while they weren’t put to work on the deck, they had it much worse. They were kept alone and in their rooms, not given the chance to talk to anyone who didn’t come into their rooms. It had been Yuu’s job to bring food to them, and he’d found that their legs were chained to the walls. They were all pretty, but they were messy, living in dirty rooms that smelled disgusting; like sex, though Kanda didn’t know that. The girls were always crying and for the first few weeks they screamed whenever a crewman went into their rooms. Compared to them, Kanda had it easy.
He had it better than the older boys did, too. Some of the sailors were strange, and looked at him and the rest of the boys with leers and perverse grins. Yuu had been made to watch as the more cynical of the older boys laid himself down (quite literally) for his sake. When asked why he did, the boy just said it was because he’d made a promise.
000
“I’ve got it from a reliable source that we’ll be landing in England soon,” the kind boy said one day. His friend snorted at the words “reliable source.” The captain tended to be one, especially when alcohol loosened his lips.
“Yeah, and we’re still gonna be sold, we’ll just be sold as slaves and not prostitutes.”
“Must you use such language in front of children?”
“They’ve heard worse from the crew.”
The kind one scowled at the truth in that statement. “Yes, but we can still set a good example for them.”
“You’re such a mother,” the rude boy said with a scoff, which quickly turned into an expression of worry when the kind boy started coughing; he’d been getting sick easily lately, coughing up blood and losing weight like crazy. They were all worried, but none were more upset by this than the one who acted like he cared the least.
“Hey, hey! Don’t give up just yet, you said it yourself that we’re almost to England. We’ll find you a doctor there, ok? Just make it there…”
000
He barely made it to port. The moment the ship opened up, the boys fought their way off of the ship. Kanda tried to help a few of the girls run away, too. The rude teen seemed to think that the reason his friend was so ill was because of the crew, and was hell-bent on murder.
They had been told not to wait, to just get off the ship as soon as they could, and to stay together if they could, but it was impossible not to get separated in the crowd. Kanda was pretty sure all of the boys made it off the ship, including the oldest two, but after that he never saw any of them again. He hoped the kind one found a doctor who would help him. His actions were clearly justified.
When night fell, Kanda found he had a bigger problem. Everywhere he went, people were speaking this strange language at high speeds and he didn’t understand a word of it. He could read a few signs here and there because he recognized some words that he’d seen on the ship, but that was it. He was alone in some strange country with no idea where to go or what to do.
The streets were not kind to him that night.
000
He decided he must be at least six now. The older boys on the ship had kept track of time for them and had said they’d been on the ship for about three months. Kanda had somehow found himself in the run-down part of the city he was in-it was called London, if he remembered right. There was a shop that had a calendar in the window near the place he’d found shelter in, and according to it, another five months had passed since he’d come here. He’d turned five about four months before he was kidnapped, so he had to be six now.
Kanda didn’t like where he was right now. He’d learned enough English to know he was in Whitechapel, and he had enough common sense to know that not many of the people who were there really wanted to be there. The streets were disgusting and so where plenty of the people who walked them. Kanda tried to make an honest living by doing small jobs wherever he could, and thankfully he’d been found by a kindly old inn-keeper who let him do chores for her in exchange for a room and food. He tried his best to feel like he didn’t belong in this place when he knew he did. He looked poor and dirty, he acted rough to protect himself from the dangers that surrounded him, and even he didn’t live entirely off of honest means.
One day, the inn-keeper sent Kanda on an errand that brought him all the way to the other side of London, the rich side. For some reason, she made a point of making him wear clean clothes and scrubbing away every speck of dirt that had settled on his skin. He didn’t get why he had to be scrubbed raw just to go on an errand, even if he was going to the nice side of town.
And of course the street he was sent to had to have been completely wrong, too. There wasn’t a shop on the street! How on earth was he supposed to buy anything when no one was selling? Sometimes that old lady confused him like nothing else could.
There wasn’t much on this street at all, there was a school, and across from it a convent and a church. The schoolyard was filled with children of all ages and their parents. Kanda was struck with a pang of loneliness; here he was, in some strange, disgusting and thoroughly confusing country when he should’ve been at home with his parents. He’d been so busy since he left, so concentrated on living another day that he hadn’t had the time to miss his family. Now he found himself staring wistfully into the schoolyard, wishing desperately to be spirited back home.
“Hey, you just gonna stand there and stare, or are ya comin’ in?” A young voice asked him. Kanda jumped and looked around for the voice that had called to him. Someone poked his shoulder, and as he turned to look at the person he heard a bit of a giggle.
“What do you want with me?” Kanda was a bit surprised by the shock of red hair and the two shining green eyes that stared directly into his gray-blue ones. Those sparkling eyes widened and blinked in surprise when they saw his face.
“Wow, pretty!” Kanda scowled and grit his teeth, and the kid seemed to realize he’d just said the wrong thing. “Um, anyway, like I said-- are you gonna stand out here all day, or are you going in?” The boy asked, pointing to the school. Kanda’s eyebrows knit together for a moment, he didn’t think he was allowed to just walk into school, he didn’t belong there.
“Of course not.”
“Huh? But you’ve gotta got to school, it’s the law you know!” The redhead said with a bit of a pout. Kanda didn’t even know why he was talking to this person. He was ready to walk away, find out where he was really supposed to be, but just then an elderly nun came over to the two of them.
“Trying to skip classes already, hm?” She asked with a scowl on her face. The redhead shook his head quickly.
“No, no! This kid is saying he doesn’t go to school, so I’m tryin’ to bring him in,” the strange boy explained; Kanda gave him an incredulous look.
“I don’t belong in school! I’m just supposed to be running errands!”
“Nonsense!” The nun put her hands on her hips with a look of anger. “Children belong in school, come with me you two!” She reached down and grabbed the two by their ears, dragging them into the schoolyard. Kanda cursed in Japanese the entire time.
000
At the end of the day Kanda’s head was positively spinning. He still wasn’t good with conversational English and all of his teachers were nuns who spoke very quickly. He had none of the things he needed for class and no idea what anyone was doing. He didn’t know why he’d bothered to stay around all day. Sitting at the back of the class, he sighed over a day wasted.
“So what’s up with you anyway? I know school is boring but even I still like it here,” that redhead from earlier said to him. Kanda glared at him for daring to speak. There were plenty of kids in the class he could bother, so why was he targeting Kanda?
“I told you I don’t belong ‘ere. M’ landlady sent me to that street to run some errands, but she must’ve gotten the street name wrong.”
“Your landlady? What about your mum? Shouldn’t she be the one sending you to school? That’s what I think your ‘errand’ was, by the way. I think she was sending you to school.”
Kanda thought that possibility over for a moment; now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense for his landlady to make him clean up like this if she had in fact intended to send him to school, and not on an errand run. Damn, she was a tricky woman, why didn’t she just say that was where he was going?
“…That could be it.”
“So I was right to bring you in!” The redhead exclaimed happily. Kanda rolled his eyes.
“Who’re you anyway? Why are you talking to me? Didn’t yer mum ever tell you not to talk to strangers?”
“Nope, but my grandpa did, I never listen to him though. My name is Lavi by the way!” The boy, now identified as Lavi, said with a smile. He extended his hand for a handshake, but Kanda just stared at him curiously; he had yet to meet someone who was proper enough to greet him with a handshake, so the gesture was completely foreign to him.
“M’ name is Kanda, and you still ‘aven’t answered my question; why are you bothering me?”
“Hm? Well… I talked to you because you looked sad and sort of lonely. I figured you could use someone to talk to.” Kanda blinked confusedly at the boy; who just walked up to someone because they looked sad? Kanda had never known someone who’d do that. Maybe this kid was just weird?
Either way, Kanda couldn’t help but feel oddly warm.
000
It was almost a month after his landlady had started sending him off to school everyday before she had enough free time to accompany him there and explain his situation to the nuns. They were sympathetic, and suddenly they stopped being so hard on him for not participating in class or having the proper books and whatnot. During that month, Lavi had become strangely attached to him. It sort of frightened Kanda, because no one but the landlady had been nice to him since he’d come to England, and even then she pitied him more than anything. Genuine kindness had yet to be found among these strange people.
“So,” Lavi walked up to Kanda with a bit of a pout on his face, “Why didn’t you tell me that your real name was Yuu?” Lavi asked; he’d eavesdropped on the landlady’s conversation with Mother Superior. He seemed to feel a bit hurt by the fact that Kanda had withheld such information from him, but Kanda didn’t understand what he’d done wrong.
“I told you my name was Kanda, and it is. Yuu is m’ name too, but ain’t it normal to give your family name first?”
“No, who told you that?”
“My parents, that’s the way we do things where I come from.” Kanda scowled at the redhead; who was he to question Kanda’s customs? Well, the few he knew about, anyway. Five years wasn’t really enough time to learn a lot about his culture.
“Where are you from anyway, Yuu?”
“Don’t call me that! It’s rude.”
“But you call me by my first name! How’s it rude? Anyway, answer my question, you never answer any of my questions right away, you know.” Lavi tapped his foot to illustrate his impatience.
“Nihon, you people call it Japan.”
Lavi’s eyes widened in amazement. “Whoa…Where’s that?”
“’Aven’t a clue.” Kanda had yet to see a world map, so he really had no idea just where it was in relation to England.
“Oh… So why are you here then?” Lavi asked. Kanda wasn’t sure if he really wanted to answer that question, he didn’t think anyone would believe him if he said he was smuggled over.
“Why do you ask? That annoyed by me already?” Kanda asked, hoping to dodge the question. He did, though he didn’t like the result of asking such a question.
“Of course not, Yuu! You’re my friend!” Lavi said loudly, and hugged him.
Kanda went rigid. He hated being touched, he’d started hating it the moment he was taken on that ship. He couldn’t trust foreigners enough to let them touch him at all. On the ship, the crew only beat him, and when he’d gotten lost in the streets, before he’d been taken in by the landlady, he’d had a few horrific run-ins with some less-than-pleasant men. They treated him the same way the crew had treated the women, the same way they’d treated that rude teenager who’d given himself up to protect Kanda. He’d felt like he was going to die and didn’t understand how he’d managed to live.
Foreigners couldn’t be trusted, he couldn’t let even a child near him.
“LET GO OF ME!” Kanda shouted, and violently pushed Lavi away. The redhead didn’t understand what he’d done wrong, and looked hurt. Kanda was too busy trying to stop himself from shaking to care.
“Yuu…?”
“Don’t call me that..!”
“What’s wrong, Kanda?” Lavi had always been observant, and the fear that was pervading Kanda’s expression was clear as day to him. There was something wrong with Kanda’s reaction, but he was too young to know what.
Finally, Kanda realized how strange, how frightened he was acting, and shook himself out of it. “Nothing, just… I don’t like being touched, please don’t.”
“Okay… You sure you’re alright though?”
“I’m fine!” Kanda snapped. Lavi gave him a concerned look; Kanda could hardly stand to lie to Lavi’s honest face.
000
Somehow Kanda had managed to make it through a year of school. He’d picked up proper English quickly enough, and the nuns seemed determined to stop him from slipping back into the slight cockney accent he’d picked up during his first year in London.
Lavi was all but affixed to his hip now and seemed to fancy himself Kanda’s best friend. Kanda didn’t want best friends, but he supposed Lavi must’ve been something special to him because aside from his landlady, Lavi was the only foreigner he trusted. He was the only person Yuu could stand in general, really.
Kanda had thought that he probably would not see Lavi at all during summer vacation, because he had no idea where they would meet outside of school. He was wrong though, as one day he was sent on another fake errand that landed him directly in front of a huge mansion the likes of which he’d never seen. It seemed that his landlady and Lavi’s grandfather (when had they gotten in touch?) had arranged a little play date for the two of them. Kanda just wished the old lady would tell him these things. After that he’d seen a lot more of Lavi, and had to dodge a lot of questions about his own place of residence and his family.
At last the new school year had started, and this time Kanda didn’t hesitate to walk into the schoolyard, though seeing all of the new families bring in their children still made him feel lonely. He stood apart from the rest of the crowd and waited for the only person who mattered.
As he surveyed the crowd of students, one family stood out to him. It wasn’t really a whole family, just two people. One was a little girl with her short hair drawn up into two cute pigtails. The older of the two who looked to be in his mid-teens; he was maybe a year or so older than the two boys who’d protected him on the ship. They didn’t look like everyone else; they looked like him, like foreigners to England. He wondered how they’d gotten here.
The girl seemed hesitant to leave her older brother, and Kanda decided it must be her brother because he was far too young to have a child who looked to be about five.
“Yay, Yuu waited for me! I’d hug him if only he’d let me.” Kanda gave a bit of a scowl when he heard Lavi approaching him. Over the past year he’d realized that not all foreigners were bad, and that he’d just gotten a particularly bad first impression of them but he still hated being touched. However, it seemed the more he denied people contact, the more Lavi wanted a hug. Damned touchy-feely rabbit brat.
“Try it and I’ll break your arms.”
“Violent as always, I see…You never did explain why you hate hugs so much. There’s a lot of stuff you’ve never explained to me, Yuu.”
Kanda tried not to sigh at the use of his given name. He’d made it clear that it was not to be used by the redhead, but Lavi had made it clear that he was going to use it anyway.
The school bell rang and Kanda pushed away from the wall he was leaning on.
“Excuse me,” a little voice came from Kanda’s left, and he felt a little tug on his sleeve. Kanda looked down to see the little girl that he’d noticed earlier. She was looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes and Kanda instantly knew that she didn’t know much hardship. She’d probably come to England peacefully.
“Um… You sort of look like me and my ge-ge,” she said, releasing his sleeve and looking at her toes. Kanda couldn’t help but think her behavior was cute. He found it a bit easier to like her because she wasn’t a foreigner and she wasn’t a male. “Well, you don’t look like everyone else…”
“And you sort of look like me,” he replied to her statement, not really sure what she was getting at.
“Are you from China, too?” She asked, looking hopeful. He shook his head no.
“I’m from Japan.”
“Oh…” She took a moment to think about that, probably wondering where Japan was, but in the end she just shook off the thought. “Well, my name is Lee Lenalee, it’s nice to meet you!” She said with a happy smile and a polite bow. It seemed she didn’t particularly care if he was just like her or not. Darn it though, she was precious, and it was pretty obvious that Lavi thought the same thing.
“I’m Kanda Yuu.”
“And I’m Lavi! Let’s be friends, ‘kay?” And so Kanda suddenly found himself with a new friend.
000
Kanda was always very wary on his walks home from school. The streets weren’t safe for a kid like himself, he had to be careful. Usually it was easy enough to stay out of trouble if he just kept to himself. Don’t look anyone in the eye, don’t get involved in other people’s fights, don’t stare and don’t speak. As long as he did all of that, he was safe, for the most part.
One day he found it too hard to keep out of other people’s business though.
“Let me go!” A loud yell sounded just as Kanda was passing by a rather bad alley. He hated taking this road, but it was easier to get home this way. He wanted to just ignore the yell, goodness how he would’ve liked to just keep walking, but that voice was too damn childish to just ignore. Kanda couldn’t help but remember the two who had gone out of their way to protect him and the rest of the kids on that ship, he remembered how he had hated being in their debt but was thankful for their protection.
He had always wanted to pay them back, but he would probably never meet them again. Maybe he could still return the favor though, by doing what they always did for someone else?
Against his better judgment Kanda turned into the alley to see an older man trying to pin a young boy with the strangest white hair. He’d never seen a kid with hair that color, he wondered how it got to be that way.
“’Ey you big jerk, let that kid go!” Kanda yelled into the alley before he could chicken out and run away. Immediately he caught the kid and his attacker’s attention. He ran into the alley and delivered a quick kick to the man’s face; he was on the ground, it was easy enough to reach. With a yell the man let go of the boy and covered his injured nose. The kid looked up at him with wide gray eyes and Kanda noticed the strange scar on his face. He seemed too afraid to know that he was supposed to run.
Kanda picked the kid up off the ground and quickly brought the child to the mouth of the alley.
“Get outta ‘ere kid!” he said, dragging the boy forward. The boy, his eyes still frightened and wide, nodded and did as told, shouting a thank you as he ran. Kanda was quick to try and escape too, now that the kid was safe there was no reason to stick around. It seemed he wasn’t that lucky though, for a moment later he was dragged back, kicking and screaming.
“Damnit, ya ‘elped ‘im get away ya little snot!” The man growled out, “You better make up for it now!”
Kanda felt fear clamp down on his being, because he knew that no one else was stupid enough to make his mistake. He wasn’t getting away.
000
“You’re back Yuu!”
“Kanda, what happened to you?”
When Kanda returned to school after a two-week absence, he was greeted in this way by his friends at the front gate. The landlady had decided that she would have to start walking him to and from school after what happened, and had gone in to explain vaguely why Kanda had missed so much school.
“I was sick, so I stayed home,” Kanda answered. It was somewhat true, he had been unwell for a while. “I feel okay now, but you’d better stay away or you might catch it.” That was a blatant lie, but Kanda just didn’t want to be near anyone anymore. He hadn’t even wanted to leave the safety of the landlady’s apartment that morning.
“Don’t be stupid Yuu, we’d rather catch our deaths than leave you alone!” Lavi said in what was supposed to be a reassuring way, and Kanda internally groaned; that was exactly what he didn’t want to hear.
But then again, maybe he what he needed at the moment was to be with these two? To be with people he could trust?
000
“Yuu, there’s still so much you haven’t told me about you, but we’ve been friends for three years now,” Lavi said randomly one day. The two of them were currently in Lavi’s room at the Mikk mansion. Lavi was the only foreign boy he trusted enough to be alone with. Kanda was definitely bias against foreigners and most of his own gender, but that was to be expected after everything that had happened. In all honesty he didn’t much care for girls either, he found them pitiable, and a touch more trustworthy, but that was it.
“If I haven’t told you something, that’s because it doesn’t matter,” Kanda said, dismissing the topic.
“It does matter though! At least it does to me… I wanna know all the little things,” Lavi insisted. Kanda knew that Lavi really did want to know, he brought this subject up so much. Well, they were alone at the moment and Kanda knew that if he told Lavi not to tell anyone, he wouldn’t… Maybe it was time to just confess everything to him? It certainly couldn’t feel much worse than keeping it all in did.
“Are you really sure you want to know about me? My story isn’t a pretty one,” Kanda warned.
“I can handle it. ‘Sides, if something bad happened to you, then I wanna be able to take some of the burden off of you.”
Kanda raised an eyebrow to this, unsure of just how Lavi intended to go about doing that, but decided that it was time to give in and just tell his friend the truth.
“Well, I came here when I was five. See, there were these strange guys in my hometown…”
000
Somehow, Kanda had gotten emotional during his story. He hated it, and for so many years he had tried to reconcile his upset feelings, and when that didn’t work he’d tried to bury them, but in the end he still couldn’t keep himself under control. Saying everything out loud made it so real, hearing it come out of his own mouth made it hurt more than he thought possible. Even so, Kanda fought back his tears until the end and tried not to let his voice waver too much.
“Yuu… is that all true? It’s so much, and you’re not even ten yet…!”
“Oh yeah, ‘cause I would definitely lie about being kidnapped and dumped in some city halfway across the world from my home!” Kanda could hardly believe Lavi had the gall to ask that. They both knew he wasn’t nearly creative enough to make up a story like that.
“No, I don’t doubt that it happened, you’re here after all… But that really does explain a lot about you, like why you never let anyone touch you.” It had always hurt Lavi whenever Kanda pushed him away, and Kanda knew it did, but at least now Lavi understood why he did now.
“Why are you so hung up over hugging me anyway?” Kanda asked; he’d never really seen what was so great about hugs.
“Because that’s what you do when you like someone, you hug them. Personally, I think you could really use one right now, too.”
“Jerk, I definitely don’t.”
“No, I think you do,” Lavi said, seeming completely serious, “I mean, you should know that not everyone who touches you is out to hurt you. You should be able to trust at least one person enough to let them hug you. Do you trust me enough? Or do you think I’m out to hurt you?”
“No!” Kanda knew that of all the world’s people, Lavi was the one who was least likely to hurt him. “I just… I…” He was afraid he just didn’t want to admit it.
“Scared of me, Yuu?”
“Of course not, what’s there to be afraid of?”
“So you wouldn’t scream if I hugged you now?”
Oh, that was difficult to answer. Kanda didn’t want to admit to being afraid, but at the same time he was, the idea made him want to run. But he did trust Lavi, and there wasn’t any reason to be afraid of him.
“…No, now stop asking stupid questions.”
“Good!” Lavi said, and then he was suddenly at Kanda’s side. “Gonna hug ya now, if ya don’t mind.” Kanda braced himself for the paralyzing fear that he was sure would come with being touched as Lavi wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Amazingly enough it never came. Instead, he felt warm, warm and fluttery. It was nice, being held like this, comforting even. Kanda let out a deep breath and relaxed, suddenly Lavi seemed much more precious to him.
000
The courtyard of the Mikk household was splendid, really. There was a beautiful rose garden, and that was where the two boys were playing. Lenalee wasn’t allowed over, her brother was over-protective and thought all little boys were just out to steal his sweet little sister from him. Kanda had met the guy a few times, and had decided that he was rather normal until the subject of Lenalee came up, then he was crazy. He reminded Kanda of that kind boy from the ship before he got sick, energetic and protective.
So they were alone in the rose garden together. Kanda had long since gotten used to Lavi and his constant need for hugs and whatnot. It was like opening a dam really; one had naturally leaded to many, many more. In all honesty, Kanda didn’t mind in the least, Lavi made him feel comfortable. Over the past year Kanda had received more hugs than he could count. He was ten years old now, he’d officially spent half of his life in England, and he was finally starting to feel okay in this country.
“Hey Yuu,” Lavi called, and Kanda looked over to him, walking in his direction.
“What?”
“Would you mind if I kissed you?” Lavi asked in all seriousness.
Kanda was completely bowled over by the question. That was just too random, why on earth would he ask that? Kanda was a boy, a boy! They both knew that so why would he ask such a thing? Besides they were friends, did friends kiss? Well, he supposed it depended on the kind of kiss, didn’t it?
“Why would you want to?” Kanda asked; for Kanda something like that was exceptionally intimate, no one had ever kissed him, not even those attackers of his.
“Because when ya love someone you kiss them,” Lavi said, looking him directly in the eye. There was no hint of a lie in his eye, Lavi was serious about what he was saying, well as serious as a child could be about such matters. Kanda’s face turned bright red, he’d never really expected to hear that word from anyone, especially not Lavi. That all-powerful “L” word…
“I…” How did one respond to a question like that? Wouldn’t it be shameless to say yes? It would hurt Lavi to say no, and Kanda didn’t really want to do that. He needed a moment to decide, and avoided answering by asking another question.
“Are you serious?” Kanda knew Lavi was, he could see it in his glowing eyes, but he needed to ask anyway.
“Of course. I wouldn’t dare ask if I weren’t.”
Kanda couldn’t bring himself to say no when Lavi was so sincere. He took a shy step toward Lavi, his cheeks still burning red, and looked up to Lavi.
“Okay then, you can.”
Lavi looked surprised for a moment, and Kanda wondered if he had frozen and couldn’t bring himself to do it. But soon enough the bunny boy reigned in his wits and leaned over, placing a chaste kiss on Yuu’s lips. A light, joyful feeling bubbled up in Kanda and he thought that maybe, just maybe, he loved Lavi too.
000
Everything that was good in Kanda’s life came undone the moment he was done with his primary education. His landlady had died of pneumonia, and apparently she had a son who she’d left her boarding house to. This son hated kids, and wanted Kanda out of that building since he wasn’t a paying tenant. Kanda had told the son of his arrangement with the old landlady, but he would have none of it. He didn’t need to be told to leave twice.
At first, Kanda entertained the idea of going to Lavi and asking for help, but he didn’t want to trouble his friend with his problems. Besides, his pride wouldn’t allow him to go running to Lavi every time something went wrong. So Kanda looked around the area he was familiar with to find a place to stay. There were quite a few abandoned factory warehouses around, but most of them were filled with the homeless and destitute. There was no room for another body and quite frankly he didn’t want to live in such an impersonal place.
Eventually though he did find a small little run-down house that he supposed would be enough to get him through the colder months. He’d gotten pretty good at making repairs to walls and such, his old landlady had taught him how to do a lot of things on his own, and he’d learned plenty about construction on the ship. It took a few months of finding scrap wood and stealing tools, but he managed to turn the little hovel into something fairly respectable.
Even so, he found himself staying over Lavi’s house a lot more than he used to. At least, he did until he realized he was starting to get tailed. The desperate people around him were curious as to where he was going everyday now that the landlady couldn’t make him go to school anymore. Kanda was worried, he didn’t want to lead bad, dangerous people to Lavi’s home, or Lenalee’s for that matter. The first few times he noticed his pursuers, he’d turned back and gone home.
After a while, he did manage to give those people the slip and managed to get to Lavi’s without being followed. However, after being followed so many times he was paranoid; he didn’t want to cause trouble for the people who had been so kind to him for all these years. So he decided this would be the last time he went to Lavi’s house, this would be the last time he saw his friends. It was for their own good.
Needless to say, the redhead didn’t take the news well, he begged Kanda to reconsider and refused to tell Lenalee that Kanda wouldn’t be seeing her again either. Nothing Kanda said could make Lavi realize just how dangerous the people following him probably were. In the end Kanda had just had to run away from the estate, not looking back as he left it for what he was sure would be the last time.
000
A year had passed since Kanda had stopped contacting Lavi and Lenalee, and he could definitely say that he’d had better days. He was trying to find an honest job, but in the meantime he had to steal to get by and he hated doing something so dishonest. He didn’t trust anyone around him, no one was worthy of it. There was no one to talk to either, it was lonely. The only comfort he had was the fact that he’d lived through worse days.
One day when he left his home in search of a job or someone to scam (whichever came first), he realized that a small gang of boys in their older teens and early twenties who were infamous for the trouble they caused seemed about ready to cause a scene. Kanda had long since decided that he wouldn’t bother with other people’s problems, but he was still curious enough to try and find their target in the crowd.
It wasn’t hard to. There, walking down the street was Lavi, looking completely out of place in his nicely tailored clothes and shining leather shoes. Goodness, the kid was asking to be robbed or mugged or something. Heck, if Lavi hadn’t been one of his friends then even Yuu would’ve been tempted to pick his pockets.
But as it was, his appearance here was just worrying. He was going to get hurt if he stuck around for long. Kanda ran towards Lavi, and the redhead jumped when he’d heard his name being called. It was clear that Lavi was tense, he wasn’t comfortable with being here.
“You idiot, do you want to get yer ass mugged?” Kanda hissed at Lavi when he reached him. Lavi blinked at him for a moment, as though he didn’t recognize Kanda. Maybe he didn’t, Kanda had grown and besides he probably didn’t look as clean as Lavi remembered. But then a smile etched its way onto Lavi’s face and he hugged Kanda. Yuu was too worried and annoyed with Lavi to reciprocate though, and pushed him away.
“This is ‘ardly the time or place for a reunion, idiot! Do you see those four guys over there? They’re getting ready to rob ya blind because you don’t ‘ave the common sense to dress down when coming to the East end!” Kanda scolded, angry that Lavi had put himself in harm’s way for no reason.
“Well, I wouldn’t be down here if a certain someone came to visit every once in a while. Yuu, just come live with me at the Mikk mansion, I can get you a job there or something if you want. I just don’t want you to live like this…I don’t want to live knowing that I can’t see you, knowing that you’re here alone!” Lavi explained hurriedly, as though he didn’t think Kanda was going to let him speak.
“We can talk about this later, Lavi, but right now you need to get out of here!” Kanda said, getting a bit panicked; they were getting closer, Lavi wasn’t going to be safe for much longer.
“No, you won’t come see me and I know it! This is the only way I can get you talk to me!” Lavi objected, looking hurt. He just refused to understand the position he as in, it frustrated Kanda! Angry and worried, Yuu grabbed Lavi and started pulling him in the general direction of the Mikk mansion.
“Lavi you have to leave now, you’ll be hurt if you don’t!”
“You’ll be hurt if you stay here too, Yuu!”
“Now’s not the time for this!”
“Yes it is!”
The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted the two, and Kanda cursed under his breath. Shit, they’d been approached.
“’ey kiddie, ya sure do look fancy, all dressed up like that,” the leader of that group said with a sneer. “Makes me sort of pissed when lil’ rich kids like you show up. How ‘bout you share the wealth, Red?”
Kanda stepped between the men and Lavi, he’d gotten himself a bit of a reputation as a fighter over the past few years, and while he knew he couldn’t beat all four of them at once, he could buy Lavi enough time to run.
“’E’s just an idiot servant, th’ brat’s got no money on ‘im,” Kanda said, hoping that would be enough to dissuade the thugs.
“Maybe ‘e doesn’t, but those fancy clothes of ‘is would sell for a lot, you know? ‘Sides, why should I believe you?”
“’Cause I know ‘e’s got nothin’ on ‘im, so just leave ‘im the hell alone before you make an arse of ye’self.” Kanda looked the older man in the eye defiantly, daring him to make a move against Lavi. Faintly, he heard Lavi mutter “The nuns at our school would cry if they heard you now…” Kanda growled at him; he wasn’t helping.
“We’ll check the bloke out ourselves, if ya don’t mind runt,” the man said, and then the four lunged in unison. Kanda push Lavi away, and fought off who he could.
“Run you idiot!” He shouted when it seemed like Lavi wasn’t going to move. The redhead just scowled and roundhouse kicked the nearest thug. Kanda cursed under his breath, it was just like Lavi to think he could do something in this situation. Granted he was a pretty good fighter, he’d even taught Kanda a move or two, but he wasn’t prepared for an unfair fight, and he had no idea how to fight someone who had a weapon. Kanda knew these guys were armed.
They proved him right soon enough. Annoyed, the one that Lavi had first kicked pulled out a switchblade. Kanda yelled a warning and tried to hit the knife out of the man’s hand before he could do any harm, but he left an opening in his defense that was quickly taken advantage of. In the moment he took to dodge the blows he could, Lavi had been cut.
The scream struck him to his very core, and Kanda decided it was time to run and not care who followed. He tried not to look at Lavi’s face, and just checked to be sure that the redhead could still run. He was afraid to find out what had happened, afraid to see what they’d done to Lavi. It was his fault, he knew, he couldn’t protect Lavi so it had to be his fault.
“Damnit, Lavi…” Kanda said between pants when they’d finally reached a safe place, “Do you get it now? Those were the kind of people that were following me to your house, they’d have robbed you blind if I had led them there!”
Kanda wasn’t sure if Lavi could really understand him at the moment, he was probably in shock. He did realize the irony in his own words though, when he finally dared to look at Lavi’s injury. It was a deep gash over his right eye. Lavi was going to lose that eye, or at the very least he would lose his sight in it.
Angry, Kanda was angry and fighting against himself so that he wouldn’t take it out on Lavi. Damnit, if the redhead had just stayed on his side of town none of this would’ve happened. Kanda didn’t have time to get upset though, he had to get Lavi home or to a hospital. The boy was shaking and was probably fit to collapse soon from the shock of having his face ripped open.
In the end Lavi did lose his eye, and Kanda lost all contact with him.
000
By age 13 Kanda was pretty used to the life he led. He was independent, a good fighter, and could provide for himself. No one bothered him anymore; he was too strong to mess with, even if he was just a kid. He was alone, but at least he wasn’t hurting anyone.
Shopping for food was probably the only honest business he conducted anymore, stealing food was beneath even him, doing so made him feel like a stray dog. So that’s what he was doing when he bumped into his old friend Lenalee. He was quick to avert his eyes and try to walk away, he hoped she wouldn’t remember him, after all it had been two years since he’d stopped seeing her. No such luck though, as soon enough he felt a hand on his shoulder, and that familiar voice was calling out to him.
“Kanda, is that you?” She asked, and he ducked his head a bit. He couldn’t lie to her, it had always been so hard to lie to her and that hadn’t changed. She narrowed her questioning eyes at him for a long moment, inspecting him.
“It is you, isn’t it?” Finally he turned around and faced her, nodding in response. “Kanda!” She was quick to hug him, and Kanda fought back his reflex to hit whoever touched him. It was just Lenalee, she was just happy to see him. Besides, being touched in a way that wasn’t painful was… strange to him now, foreign, it felt nice.
“You don’t look like you’re doing too well,” She commented, he voice muffled by his shirt. “You’re too skinny and no offense, but you stink.” She always had been a bit too honest.
“Yeah, well you try staying clean when you live in a hovel,” he muttered before thinking. Lenalee looked up at him with worry.
“So you really are living in a bad place, aren’t you?” She asked, innocent eyes trained on him. Kanda tried to deny what she said; he couldn’t have her worrying about him and making Lavi’s mistake. But she wouldn’t allow him to make up excuses, she exhibited more strength than he’d remembered her having when she dragged him all the way to a very large mansion that he remembered coming to once a long time ago. She lived here with her brother, it was the Marian manor.
“Why did you bring me here?” Kanda asked as she dragged him through the front gates.
“I’m going to get you a job here! My brother is the young master’s best friend, and my best friend is the son of the Master’s assistant, if I ask them to, I know they can help you!”
“No! I don’t want anyone’s charity!” Kanda shouted coldly, and tried to pull away from her. She just looked at him with a glare.
“Well too bad, ‘cause I’m going to do it anyway!” Kanda didn’t remember her being quite so forceful, it was sort of strange to see her this way. But her voice said not to go against her, and Kanda didn’t really want to refuse her offer anyway, his pride was the only thing that had kept him from accepting Lavi’s help before, and he hardly had any of that left now.
Kanda felt a bit of fear when he faced Komui again after all of these years; if he still had that sister-complex of his, then he would probably be too protective of Lenalee to let her associate with someone like Kanda. But that wasn’t the case, because Komui actually recognized him and worried over him just as much as Lenalee had.
Kanda felt oddly nostalgic when he was forced into a bath and clean clothes. Komui and Lenalee had talked to him through the door the entire time, they were trying to convince him that it wouldn’t be so bad working here, he’d like it, working under Cross was undoubtedly better than living in the East end. Maybe it was because he felt cleaner than he had in years and that had put him in an agreeable mood, but somewhere along the way he started believing them.
The job was easy enough to get, he was apprenticed under an older guard who was getting ready to retire. Both his teacher and his employer were kind enough people and the master didn’t seem to care about him either way. He was back with people, normal, functioning people and he felt like he didn’t belong. Even so, as the weeks turned into months and years, he started thinking “Maybe this isn’t so bad…?”
Because maybe relying on others wasn’t so bad?

Writer's Block: Titular Heroes

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 03:00:13 GMT

Kurt Vonnegut's books have great titles, like Breakfast of Champions and Slaughterhouse Five. If your life was a novel, what would the title be?

View 500 Answers

Ah....This one seemed sorta interstin'...Saya couldn't help herself~

If Saya's life were a novel, she'd give it an extremely misleading and long name that had nothing to do with the content :D "Candy Covered Bullet from the Purple Toy Gun."
...Heck, Saya might use that title for some random fanfic one day... LinkLlen Christmas-fic title, maybe?

....Wow, a random, not-fanfic post....how bizarre 0_0

Death is in Love with Us 2/(?)

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 02:47:37 GMT

Title: Death is in Love with Us
Pairings: LaviYuu/ LaviAre in equal parts.
Rating: PG13-esque...
Warning: AU, no surprise there. Um....OOC, most likely, again no surprise there... Nothing too bad though...not at the moment, at least.
Disclaimer: Story line insp' by "As the Death God Dictates," by Mimori Ao. Characters are Hoshino's~
Summary: Lavi's going to die in a month. He shouldn't be aware of this, but he his, and it's all because he can see the shinigami that plans to kill him! So now Lavi's got one month to confess to the Kanda Yuu, the love of his slowly ending life. There's just one problem with confessing; Death is falling in love with him...And isn't above using unfair means to get rid of Kanda...

Ah, Saya's got no idea where her original estimation for 10 chapters came from D: She's blazing through the original story so quickly that this will probably end with five chapters at most. Anyway....Not much in the way of Lavlen in this chapter, but plenty of LaviYuu. Lavlen gets the next chapter though. And probably the chapter after that ^^; Saya really should've writen this whole thing out before posting D:

2. My Name
“29 days…huh.” Lavi couldn’t even find it in himself to feel depressed when he realized he’d wasted a whole day just being upset over his death. He knew about it now, and sure he didn’t want it, but should he really be wasting his precious last days like this? In a way he was lucky; since he knew ahead of time he could make sure he didn’t waste his last days.
“29 days?” Kanda repeated, reminding Lavi that he was still in the room with him. Lavi shook himself out of his revelry and looked back at Kanda.
“Huh? Oh yeah, that’s how many days I’ve got left, it seems. So the countdown has begun…” The redhead sighed forlornly, he didn’t know if he wanted to just curl up and wallow in self-pity for the next month, or just give up everything he’d ever worked on in favor of spending his last few weeks goofing off and having fun.
“Well, you sound wonderfully resigned,” Kanda said, looking very unhappy about this. Lavi shrugged, he was starting to feel numb already. Perhaps it would be best if he just lived his last days out doing what he usually did? That way if he didn’t really die he wouldn’t have to worry about having messed his life up too badly?
“I’m just…very unsure of what to do at this point,” Lavi answered honestly; really, he was surprised Kanda didn’t think he was crazy. Could Kanda really just sit there and watch him talk to what seemed to be nothing, and then really believe he was sane? Maybe Yuu really did have a lot of faith in him.
“Hey Yuu, why are you even listenin’ to what I’m saying? I mean, I know I sound crazy right now.”
“You do sound crazy, yes,” Kanda said bluntly, and for a moment Lavi’s shoulders sagged in defeat, “But you also look afraid, like you really believe you’re going to die. Besides, I know how you are when you’re lying, I can tell you aren’t. To you, at least, that thing is real, so we’ve got to get rid of it.”
Lavi sort of wanted to turn into a blubbering mess and hug Yuu at the moment. So he really believed that Lavi was seeing this thing? Lavi had always known Kanda was a good friend, but this was just amazing.
“Putting aside that the thing following you is a death god and out for your hide,” Kanda said, bring Lavi’s wandering attention back to him, “there’s someone following you around, and you don’t like it, right?”
“Right.”
“Then I’ll find a way to get rid of it, so don’t worry over it too much by yourself.” Lavi looked up at Kanda; now he was offering to help, too? When had Kanda become so giving? Usually he just stayed out of anything that didn’t involve him, and yet here he was, sticking his nose into Lavi’s problem.
“You always try to do everything yourself. Let me… think with you for once, you ass.” Lavi’s expression turned into one of surprise. Had Kanda really just said that? Boy, he sure was full of surprises today. Abruptly, Kanda stood up and headed for the curtain that was pulled around Lavi’s cot. Lavi was sure that Kanda had done this to hide his face from him. No doubt he was red up to his ears now.
“For now, let’s just get you home, you’re in no condition to be in school,” Yuu said quickly, as though the air in the infirmary was suddenly too stifling for him. Lavi grinned just a bit at this, and got up to follow Yuu home.
000
“Hey, Yuu,” Lavi called out just as Kanda was turning to leave his apartment for the night.
“What?” Kanda looked back over his shoulder, giving Lavi a curious look.
“Thanks for believin’ me, even though I probably sounded insane to ya,” Lavi said with a small but genuine smile. Kanda turned to face forward again quickly, but Lavi could tell that the boy was probably blushing.
“Yeah well, that’s because you’re the one who said it,” Kanda said, looking over his shoulder one last time to stare Lavi in the eye. The redhead’s lone green eye widened just a bit, and Kanda rolled his eyes. “Don’t you get it yet?” He asked, and then made a calm retreat that left Lavi feeling exceptionally fluttery. All he could get himself to think was that Yuu was really cool sometimes, as juvenile as that sounded.
000
Lavi’s spirits couldn’t be higher while still being within his physical body at the moment. Sure, he was heading out to school, which had become a complete waste of time for him since he’d learned he was going to die, but he couldn’t get what Kanda had said out of his mind! It had definitely sounded like Kanda was confessing in his own roundabout way, but that could’ve just been his own mind embellishing his memory…
So he hummed a happy little tune that he’d heard on the radio the night before at his part-time job. It was an English song and he was pretty sure it was from the mid-80s but well, the 80’s would never die.
That morning would’ve been just dandy, if it hadn’t been ruined by the horrified scream that had come from some girl who was also walking to school that morning, and the screeching sound of tires slipping over asphalt. Lavi looked around wildly to find the source of the disruption, and saw that a truck was swerving dangerously, trying to stay on the narrow road. The girl who had screamed was most likely on one of the girls from the group closest to the car.
“Oh goodness! That’s horrible!” One yelled, pointing to the side of the road. Lavi grimaced when he saw the fresh road kill. It was a dog, it seemed, a small one, probably a stray. One of the girls called the pound to clean it up, and then they moved on, leaving just Lavi at the scene.
And that was when he showed up, the shinigami. Slowly he materialized next to the dog and kneeled down on the ground next to it. He gently tapped the top of the stray’s head, which was thankfully still in one piece. A gentle light enveloped the dog before leaving it in the form of a small orb. The death god picked it up and lifted it to the sky. Shining, the orb that Lavi could only assume was the animal’s soul levitated, and then popped. The clouds in the sky seemed to split just so that the soul could ascend beyond them.
Lavi stared at the shinigami with wide eyes, feeling just a bit moved by how beautiful that had been. He had always been easily touched by beautiful things (that was probably one of the reasons Lavi had been attracted to Kanda when they were younger), so something like that really made him want to take a minute to appreciate it. If death was that pretty, maybe it wasn’t so bad?
Of course, that display had not been nearly enough to prepare him for what came next. The shinigami turned and spotted him, but all Lavi noticed when he did were the tears that streaked down his face, rolling down that bizarre scar on the left side of his face. This, watching a shinigami cry, was also beautiful in a morbid way.
Lavi was so entranced that he hardly noticed when the pound workers came to take the dog away. The shinigami watched as they took its body away, before wiping his eyes and sitting in the grass. He looked so alone, sitting huddled on the ground with his knees pulled up to his chest and the tear streaks still on his face. Lavi couldn’t help himself, he walked over and sat next to the shinigami.
“So even death gods cry, hm?” Lavi asked, trying to sound nonchalant; he knew he wouldn’t want anyone bringing special attention to him crying in public. For a moment the shinigami didn’t answer.
“Dogs…are nice,” it said after a moment of silence. Lavi wanted to make one of those little “Awe” noises that his fans always made when Kanda abused him in class. This cute little shinigami was crying over a dog it had never met before just because he liked dogs? That was just too precious.
“Don’t worry kid, the dog was sparkling and happy when it went up, right? Nothin’ to worry ‘bout!” Lavi said, attempting to cheer the kid up. Why was he trying to cheer up a shinigami though? The very shinigami that would kill him in 28 days, at that! What, was he going to try and cheer it up when it cried over his death? Would it bother to cry over a human, or did this one only like dogs?
Lavi dug through his bag and took out the apple he’d brought in his lunch, offering it to the shinigami. Said death god just raised an eyebrow at him.
“Death gods don’t eat.”
“What? No way, I thought they loved apples! That’s the last time I listen to a manga when it concerns shinigami…” Lavi pouted a bit at the injustice done to him.
“It’s true. I’m not human, so I don’t get hungry or tired or anything. I guess I could eat if I felt like doing something weird but… I’m not exactly tangible in the plane of the living,” the shinigami said, and Lavi noted how the apple went right through his hand when he tried to pick it up.
“Then how come I can touch you?” Lavi asked, with a curious expression.
“I don’t know, you’re weird.”
“How blunt… But anyway, while I’m asking questions, what’s your name? You know mine but I don’t know yours… I’m getting tired of thinking of you as ‘the shinigami,’ or other such variants of that,” Lavi said, and shifted to face the shinigami.
“No answer.”
“Come on, tell me. It can’t be that embarrassing.”
“Like I said, I have no answer.”
“So you don’t have a name?”
“Of course not,” the shinigami gave Lavi a look like he was slow, “What do I need a name for? I mean, people can’t see me, except for you, and shinigami rarely ever work together. We have no families either, we just sort of…appear one day, and know what to do. With no friends or family, what’s the point of having a name?”
While Lavi couldn’t deny that having a name was pointless when there was no one to call it, he still felt that a nameless existence was a lonely one. He could only imagine how much more bleak it must’ve seemed, knowing that he didn’t really have an identity, not even on his own plane of existence. His expression must’ve been one of pity, for the shinigami went on.
“I exist to do my job and guide souls to Heaven, that’s it. I won’t age or die, I’ll just be happy doing what I do.”
“But that’s still so lonely,” Lavi said before he could stop himself. He knew a thing or two about being lonely, especially since his parents had been dead for so long. His apartment felt empty with just him in it, that’s why he’d always loved it when Kanda came over, because then he wasn’t alone.
“So you mean to say you’ve never eaten good food, or just kicked back with a few good friends? Can you really be happy doing that for the rest of eternity? How can you say that? I’d rather die than have to live like that! How can you just be okay with that?” Lavi couldn’t help but feel a bit enraged on the shinigami’s behalf; what being in the universe had thought it was a good idea to make such lonely creatures? It was cruel.
“I suppose one can’t miss what one had never had.”
“Say that all ya want but I’m not buying it!” Lavi declared, giving the shinigami a stern look. It looked back at him with curiosity, probably wondering why he was so angry. Lavi wondered the same thing.
“If you don’t have a name, then we’ll start there! I’m gonna give you a name, right here, right now!” Lavi exclaimed, standing up in his excitement. The shinigami scoffed.
“Don’t need one.”
“AHA! You don’t need one, but you didn’t say you don’t want one!” Lavi pointed down at the shinigami with a grin, he was making progress in his mind. The shinigami blushed a bit at this and Lavi contemplated how strange it was that a shinigami could do that. Then it shook its head, as though embarrassed.
“No, no, I don’t need or want one!”
“Come on kid, even if it’s just me, I wanna call you by name,” Lavi said with a smile. For a moment the shinigami looked too surprised to speak, and Lavi took that time to think of a name. The ghost was a foreigner, clearly, so it needed a foreign name… and well it was a he, and a cute he at that, so he needed a cute, short, simple name…
“Hey, you know… giving me a name won’t change the fact that I’m killing you in 28 days,” the shinigami said, which totally killed Lavi’s giving mood for good. He hit his forehead hard, cursing and calling himself stupid under his breath. For a moment he couldn’t help but think of the shinigami as just a cute kid and had forgotten that he was trying to name a shinigami. Damn it all.
“You forgot about school, too.”
“Oh hell! Yuu-chan must be so worried now!” Lavi said, and quickly turned to run towards the school.
‘Idiot! Getting all buddy-buddy with a shinigami!’
“Lavi.” Said redhead stopped in his tracks when he heard that innocent-sounding voice call out to him. Why did that shinigami sound so sweet, and why hadn’t he noticed it sooner?
“I’m looking forward to a name,” he said, and gave Lavi what had to be one of the most pure smiles he’d ever seen in his life. Lavi couldn’t help but nod in an almost shy way before turning to dash towards school. He refused to admit that it was the shinigami’s fault, but his heart was pounding just a bit and his face felt a bit hot.
Was that kid really a death god? Lavi wasn’t afraid of him at all, he actually found the kid to be cute and sweet. He had smiled and cried over a dog, just because he liked dogs. He’d even said he was looking forward to being named. He seemed far too sweet and gentle to be a god of death.
‘I can’t get myself to dislike that kid.’
000
Lavi was panting and breathing heavily when he finally made it to his classroom. He was happy that he’d made it in time for second period, but he still couldn’t believe that he’d just sat around and talked to a shinigami and missed his first class. Just as his breath evened out, he was hit over the head roughly.
“Ow….pain…” Lavi whined and turned around to see who’d hit him; he already knew who of course, Kanda’s knuckles had made a permanent indentation on his head, he was sure.
“Are you an idiot?” Kanda asked looking very annoyed with Lavi. “One day you’re saying you’re going to die and the next you don’t come into school on time. Your little friends were having fits all through first lesson.”
Lavi blinked a few times before what Kanda said sunk in. Oh, right, Lenalee and Daisya knew about the death god thing, he’d probably really spooked them by coming in so late. Judging from Kanda’s anger, he was probably worried too and just didn’t want to admit it. Despite himself, a smile crept onto his lips at the thought.
“And now you’re smiling. You know, some girl told me that she’d seen you talking to yourself earlier this morning by the roadside, are you going insane?” Kanda asked, giving Lavi a skeptical look. Lavi pouted and shook his head.
“No! I was talking to that shinigami and sorta got…caught up? And I was just smiling ‘cause I was happy to think you were worried about me!” Lavi huffed. Kanda made a surprised expression that bordered on denial. Clearly he was going to deny worrying.
“I-Idiot! I said your two friends had been worried, not me! I don’t worry,” Kanda said, scoffing in a forced manner and turning his face away. Lavi made a little “I don’t believe that for a second” smirk that was almost cat-like.
“Sure ya don’t Yuu-chan, sure ya don’t. But in any case, I’m here now, no need to freak out,” Lavi said with an apologetic smile. Kanda looked him over to be sure he seemed alright, before grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the classroom.
“Yeah, you are, and we’ve got a plan to make sure you stay here…”
‘A plan..?’
000
“Lavi..!” Lenalee was misty-eyed with relief when she saw Kanda leading Lavi into the classroom. Aside from the fact that most of the class was surprised to see Kanda making non-violent physical contact with someone and was therefore gawking, Lavi felt a bit awkward because of just how much his friends were worried. It was sweet, but guilt-inspiring.
“You’re a jerk to have worried us like that!” Daisya said, pouting. Lavi heard Kanda scoff and suspected he’d rolled his eyes, and sat down with the same sorry grin he’d had on his face since he’d first seen Kanda.
“Sorry, sorry…just got sort of caught up this morning,” Lavi said, hoping to stop the worry before Lenalee really broke into tears. She pouted at him, showing that she didn’t appreciate the vague excuse but let it slide.
Daisya sighed in a relieved way before saying, “Well, at least you’re alright. Really! You told us about that evil spirit-”
“-Shinigami.”
“Fine, that shinigami yesterday and really freaked us out! Do you know how many worst-case scenarios went through our heads when you didn’t show up? But it’s okay now, you’re here now. Kanda-kun was telling us about it this morning, and we all decided that we’d bring you to my church to have it exorcized. Tiedoll-san will be sure to get rid of it!”
“Yuu-chan…?” Lavi’s eye widened and he looked back to Kanda, who once again had his head down on his desk. He let out a little “Che” but didn’t look up at them.
“You two have damned big mouths. Couldn’t wait to tell him until after school, could you?” He muttered, and the three friends couldn’t help but chuckle a bit.
“So…you asked them about exorcizing it?” Lavi asked. He was starting to feel uneasy about getting rid of it. He didn’t really know why the idea was so worrying, but he just felt wrong about exorcizing the boy.
“Yeah, I did. What about it?” Kanda asked in that gruff, angry voice that he usually used to cover up his embarrassment.
“Nothin’, just…thanks,” Lavi said, not really sure how to tell Kanda or his friends about his unease. How strange would it seem if he said, “Please don’t exorcize my shinigami! He’s cute.” Besides, they were all just worried about him, he should be grateful.
Class started, but Lavi was too unfocused to pay attention; luckily he was one of those people who could learn without paying attention. Would he really be able to get rid of the shinigami? Would the exorcism work, or would it just make the shinigami angry at him? What if it did work? Would it kill the shinigami, or just make him go back to where he came from? And if it didn’t die and didn’t get pissed at him and kill him early, then what would he name it?
‘If he’s gone, I might be saved…I might not die. If he’s gone…’ Lavi thought back to the teary face of the shinigami as it cried over a stray dog when it died (would the shinigami cry for him, too?), and his smile when he said he was looking forward to a name. Could Lavi really stand to hurt that kid? Maybe exorcism was painless, then he wouldn’t feel so bad…
‘Don’t think about it Lavi! You’ve got a life to live, you can’t let it end just because you have a cute shinigami after you. You’ve gotta graduate, you’ve gotta really tell Yuu that you like him! You can’t die yet!’
000
Lavi blinked when he walked into the church Daisya had lead them too. He himself wasn’t a religious person, and neither was Lenalee, Kanda was a Buddhist who didn’t actually give a damn about Buddhism. Daisya was one of the few Christians Lavi knew (they didn’t exactly run rampant in their town), and he happened to live on the same street as the priest at this church.
So when Lavi saw the church that’d he overlooked a million times on the way to work, he was surprised to find that it was there. He was a bit more surprised to find the resident priest not doing…whatever priests usually do, but instead messily painting with oil paints on a drawing board. His cassock was smudged with blues and yellows and reds, and there was a bit of paint on his face, too.
He looked up when the four walked into the church and smiled in a fatherly way when he saw them. He put his half-finished painting on one of the pews, before walking over to them.
“Hello Daisya-kun, is one of these three the friend you told me about?” The man asked, as he looked over the four teens. His eyes immediately stopped on Lavi. “It’s the redhead, right?”
“Yeah Tiedoll-san, he’s the one with the ghost problem,” Daisya answered with an easy-going smile. Clearly he felt much more comfortable here than anyone else did. Lavi was about to sigh and remind them all that it was a shinigami, for Heaven’s sake, but the kindly priest told them to wait as he went into a back room and changed into a clean cassock.
The four teens sat in the front pew, and while Daisya and Lenalee occupied themselves by admiring the priest’s painting, Kanda and Lavi sat in a slightly awkward silence.
“Yeah well, that’s because you’re the one who said it. Don’t you get it yet?”
Lavi really wanted to ask Kanda what he had meant the other day when he’d said that, but he was unsure of whether or not Kanda would actually answer him. Besides, it seemed like something he should already know the answer to, and Lavi had his suspicions but he didn’t dare believe them. But he had to ask, and he had to do it soon! If this exorcism thing didn’t work then Lavi would really only have a month to live, and he couldn’t waste that time being indecisive.
Quickly, Lavi looked around to see if the shinigami was hanging around, or if anyone was paying attention to him. Thankfully the death god wasn’t there and Lenalee and Daisya were still talking about something else. Screwing up him courage for this one question, Lavi finally asked, “Yuu, what did you mean yesterday… when you said that…stuff?” Goodness, he couldn’t even get himself to be specific, Lavi was so lame.
Kanda looked surprised by the question, whether it was because he was surprised that Lavi had asked, or he was surprised because Lavi had to ask at all, the redhead wasn’t sure. All he knew was that it was becoming increasingly difficult to look Yuu in the face.
Kanda opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted when the priest, Tiedoll-san, walked back into the room. They definitely couldn’t talk about their odd relationship in a church, could they? Lavi cursed in his mind; it figured that the priest would be ready just as he had asked that ever-so-important question…!
Lavi had to say though, Tiedoll looked a lot more like a priest now than he had a moment before. Lavi had doubted him at first, but now he seemed a bit more legitimate.
“So tell me about the spirit that has been following you around,” Tiedoll said, standing before Lavi. The redhead described how the shinigami looked and what it had said, and Tiedoll just nodded and made the occasional comment about him.
“Well, it seems that this shinigami is affixed to you, bothering you from the outside but not going in… In which case, I know the perfect ritual. Wait here a moment.” Once again the old priest went into the back room, and after a moment returned with something that looked like a small fountain. He placed it down in front of the group, and put a small white candle on top of what looked to be the spout of the fountain. Soon enough the old man had filled the lower bowl with water (probably Holy water, Lavi thought with a mental snort).
“This is an exorcism rite unique to this church,” Tiedoll explained, “It’s fairly simple, I will call the spirit here by lighting the candle. The melted wax will fall into the water, and when the candle has melted completely, the spirit will be gone. The candle is a representation of the spirit, burning it will exorcize the spirit.”
‘Burning…’ Lavi wondered how painful this would be for the shinigami. It sort of felt like Lavi was betraying the shinigami in some way…He was the one who had made the death god look forward to being named, he was the one that had been kind first… But Lavi wasn’t going to give up his life over a bit of guilt! He couldn’t die yet…
Tiedoll lit the candle with a long match, and Lavi secretly prayed that the shinigami wouldn’t come. His prayers were not answered however, for a moment later the kid was floating right next to Tiedoll, blinking curiously at the candle.
“Lavi-san, did you call me here with this weird candle?” He asked, peering at Lavi through his silver bangs. Lavi looked at the priest, who was focused on reciting some prayer or other. He didn’t seem to notice the shinigami’s presence.
“Ugh…I feel ill, what are you doing here…?” The shinigami certainly looked worse for wear, and Lavi had to blame the candle for it. That meant that the exorcism was actually working, wasn’t it? Lavi was unsure of how to feel about that.
Suddenly, the boy made a pained expression, and clutched at the material over his chest. It gave a little groan of pain, and stumbled back.
“What’s going on, Lavi…?” He asked through pained gasps. Clearly the shinigami was in pain, and Lavi wasn’t sure if he could watch this until the end. The death god swayed on its feet before dropping to its knees. He clutched his head as though he was hearing something particularly grating. “Ah…Lavi, make it stop…!”
Lavi squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. This was too hard to watch, it was too much to hear. He couldn’t think beyond that fact that the shinigami was in pain and asking for his help! He was starting to get upset by this in a way that he shouldn’t have been. Sure, the kid was a death god, but it wasn’t a bad spirit, so why did it have to suffer?
When the shinigami fell to the floor, still looking at him pleadingly, Lavi shot up from his seat. He wanted to live a long life, but there had to be a less painful way to get rid of this shinigami and the death sentence that loomed over Lavi’s head!
“Be patient, Lavi-san, the candle is almost out,” Tiedoll said, misinterpreting Lavi’s movement as one of excitement. For one last moment Lavi hesitated, because he couldn’t think of any other way to get rid of his problem but…
He walked forward and kicked the small fountain over. The water sloshed over the sides and onto the wood-paneled floors, the candle went out just before reaching the end of the wick.
“Phew…it’s out… It’s ok now, you’re safe,” Lavi said, feeling relieved. He looked over to the shinigami, but found it was still lying on the ground. For a moment, Lavi panicked; maybe he had not acted quickly enough and the shinigami had died…? But shinigami weren’t supposed to die, right? Even as he thought that, Lavi couldn’t help but think that he had just killed the death god.
‘Oh goodness, I think I did…’
“Pft…” Wait. That wasn’t a sound of death.
“Hehe… hahaha…” Lavi’s jaw dropped. The shinigami was laughing. Laughing. Hadn’t he just been in pain a few seconds before? There was no way that the kid could just recover like that, unless…
The shinigami looked back at Lavi with a devilish grin on his face. “Fail,” it said, before laughing more.
‘That bastard.’
“Sorry, but you can’t get rid of me,” the shinigami said once it came back to its senses. “There is no human being on earth that has power over a death god. Exorcisms work on spirits, but I’m not a ghost. Let’s not try any mean tricks like that again, okay Lavi-san?” The shinigami wagged a scolding finger at Lavi, who pouted and shrank back to sulk.
“Still…I guess it’s… sort of nice to know that you were worried about hurting me…” Suddenly the shinigami wasn’t teasing him, it looked nearly flustered when it said that. The kid was even blushing a bit, and Lavi still found it weird that a shinigami could do that. Darn, that death god was too adorable for his own good… too cute for Lavi’s good, too.
“Um… Lavi?” Lavi’s back straightened and he turned around to look at his three confused friends and one curious priest. Kanda was walking towards him with a cautious expression. “Is something wrong…?”
Lavi was unsure of how to respond to that. He couldn’t just say “But the poor dear was in pain, I couldn’t let you kill him,” and he couldn’t just say that the exorcism was a dud. It didn’t seem like either comment would be appreciated. As everyone started questioning him about what he’d just done, who he’d been talking to and the like, Lavi cursed the shinigami to hell for tricking him.
000
“I’m so sorry… I know you guys went through a lot to set that up for me and that you’re all worried and everything… But, well…He looked like he was really dying, painfully at that, and I couldn’t watch that…Of course, the kid turned out to be acting through the whole thing. I wasn’t really expecting that, the kid seems so sweet and innocent; you wouldn’t think he’d pull something like that…”
Lavi sighed when Kanda didn’t answer him. Because they lived near each other they were walking home together, but Kanda wouldn’t answer him. Lavi could understand why, after all to Kanda it must’ve looked like Lavi had saved the shinigami from being exorcized. Well he had, but it wasn’t really saving because the kid had never been in any danger in the first place.
“I guess I just thought he was a nicer guy than that, or somethin’…” Lavi mumbled, scuffing his feet on the ground. Kanda turned to glare at him incredulously, and Lavi stopped in his tracks. It was rare to see Kanda glare at him with such venom.
“Sweet? Innocent? A nice guy? What the hell Lavi, why are you getting all buddy-buddy with a death god that’s after your head? You get us all worried one day because you’re so upset by this guy, and then the next day you’re talking like that thing is your long-time friend!” Kanda sounded so indignant; Lavi couldn’t do much but let him rant on. “He’s a shinigami, not a nice guy!”
“I…I know it seems stupid…but he likes dogs, actually cried when one died. Yeah, I was afraid at first, but then I talked to him and he was more cute than scary…It was just too hard to hate ‘im.” Kanda gaped incredulously at him, and Lavi wondered what he said that was so crazy.
“Che, you think it’s cute? I should’ve figured something was up when you gave the priest that unnecessarily detailed description of it…You’ve been checking out the shinigami!”
“What?” Lavi was genuinely confused there. Yuu thought he was looking at the shinigami in that way…? And if his reaction was anything to go by, he was jealous too, wasn’t he? But that wasn’t the point, the point was that Kanda was stupid enough to think that Lavi would really look at anyone but him!
“Maybe you’ve fallen for the shinigami…” Kanda said in a way that was almost, almost upset. He turned from Lavi and started walking forward again, and Lavi ran to his side to stop him.
“Wait, ya can’t seriously think that Yuu!”
“I could tell that you didn’t really want to go through with the exorcism, even from the beginning. You like the thing Lavi.”
“I do not!” Kanda gave Lavi an annoyed glare, as though he was pissed that Lavi would dare to lie to him about something like that. Clearly, he didn’t believe Lavi, he actually doubted Lavi!
“Don’t be such an ass Yuu-chan! Clearly the only person I love is Yuu!” Lavi declared much more loudly than he’d meant to. For a moment, there was silence as Kanda stared at Lavi with wide eyes, a rosy blush creeping across his cheeks. Lavi had always wondered what sort of expression Kanda would make when he finally worked up the nerve to tell him that, but he’d never imagined Yuu would look so… well, beautiful.
“Uh, I …Ah… God, I’m an idiot…!” Lavi looked around for something to hit his head on when his embarrassment got to be too much for him. He wasn’t supposed to confess like that, and besides he wasn’t good enough for Yuu yet! Why couldn’t he just crawl into a hole and die already? He beckoned to the shinigami, wherever it as, to kill him now.
“Lavi,” Kanda said when it seemed that Lavi wasn’t going to calm down any time soon. Lavi was too busy trying do decide between fleeing and just killing himself then and there to even think that it would be possible for Kanda to not reject him.
“Lavi,” Kanda called again with a bit more force in his voice, and took the redhead by the shoulders. Lavi jumped at the contact and immediately started to apologize for just springing that on his friend.
“I am so sorry I just said that. It must’ve been real awkward to hear, just pretend ya didn’t hear tha-” Lavi was cut off when a pair of soft lips- lips he’d never really thought he’d get a chance to taste for himself.
Holy hell, Kanda Yuu was kissing him.
‘Well, I’d better kiss back before he gets the wrong idea,’ Lavi thought happily, and took control of the kiss. Kanda was sweet, softer than Lavi had imagined, but somehow it suited him perfectly. This was most definitely the happiest moment in his young life, and he wouldn’t have minded at all if he was struck down now.
Lavi was still thankful that he wasn’t actually struck down though. When the two pulled apart, Lavi smiled sheepishly at Yuu, who blushed and averted his eyes. Neither of them could really think of anything to say after that, so instead Lavi just took Kanda’s hand and led him home, face flushed all the while.
Neither of them noticed the scowling shinigami that hid behind the trees.

Less than Innocent, More than Like, 34/?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 02:34:44 GMT

Title: Less Than Innocent, More than Like
Pairing: LaviYuu
Rated: PG for the moment...Just because Lavi's a bad boy >:]
Warnings: Well, it's yaoi...but you already knew that, surely. No spoilers, because this is all speculation about their past. Just don't take this like it's really their past, and you're good.
Disclaimer: Saya owns the play, but not the actors. They belong to Hoshino.
Summary: Lavi hasn't even been in the Order for two weeks, and he's already bored with it! Lucky for him a very interesting new exorcist comes in around the same time. Will Kanda be simple entertainment? Or will unfortunate circumstances force Kanda to stay close to Lavi?

still no L key...still annoyed with stuff here and there. Worrying so much over RL stuff that Saya may be giving herself ulcers. Annoyed 'cause this chapter didn't come out as awesomely as Saya wanted it to. Enjoy it anyway though?

34. In Your Care
Breakfast was a very tense affair, and of course, Lavi and Marie had no idea as to why. They didn’t even know who the strange person sitting across the low table from them was. He hadn’t been there the night before, and considering the way Yuu was shooting glares at him, it was obvious he wasn’t welcome.
Lavi and Marie did their best to blend in with the walls around them. Cleary, whatever was making the family so tense was none of their concern, and they were determined not to intrude upon it. Because of his quiet nature, it was easy for Marie to just sit and observe. Lavi too, found it easy enough to just stay out of the mess; he had been trained to observe, after all. However, he’d also been encouraged to be curious, and it was hard to keep his curiosity in check when there was a stranger sitting across from him whose very presence made Yuu positively livid.
“So, why is he here?” Yuu asked when he could take being unaware no longer. His mother shot him a scolding look for his rudeness.
“You remember what his situation was like before you left, right?” She asked. Mention of that made Yuu angry, for some reason. So everyone just expected him to remember everything about the boy as though all of it was precious information? The most annoying part was that he had actually bothered to remember most of it. Damn it all.
“I recall that it was unpleasant,” he conceded. Hayate snorted at the understatement. Lavi raised an eyebrow, but that was all.
“Yeah, well it got worse after ya left, so while he’s still living at home, we’re taking care of him now,” Hayate said, patting the stranger on the shoulder. For a moment, Lavi was pretty sure he saw concern shoot through Kanda’s eyes, but it came and went too quickly for him to sure. The stranger definitely noticed it though, Lavi could tell, and he looked a bit uncomfortable with being an object of pity.
“That doesn’t explain why he had to come in through Hayate’s window,” Yuu said, back to being cold. Clearly he was still miffed about being confused for a girl, especially considering that the person who’d thought him one was someone he’d known once upon a time.
“Just a habit I picked up a while back,” the stranger said; it was the first thing he’d said since entering the room. He had a rich voice, it teased the ears pleasantly. “I’d have used the front door if I’d known you were in there…”
Kanda glared at the boy for daring to talk, but the stranger was impervious to it and just rolled his eyes. It was clear that Kanda didn’t appreciate being brushed off in such a manner, but he hadn’t really expected his glare to have any power here anyway. The people of this house knew him too well to be intimidated, and that sucked.
“You never could do things normally, now could you?” Kanda asked rhetorically. He rolled his eyes at the teasing smirk and nod he got in reply. The stranger wore smirks well, and Lavi had to admit that the man was attractive in a general sort of way.
“Well normal never got my anywhere,” the stranger replied, before pushing back his sleeve and checking his watch. “In any case, I’ve got to get going soon.” The man stood up from his seat and Lavi saw just how tall he was; about Hayate’s height, maybe a centimeter or two shorter. He thanked Kanda’s parents for the meal before turning to leave, his long plaited hair- longer than even Kanda’s, Lavi wondered if it was a local trend or something- swung over his back as he moved. Stopping at the door, he turned back to look at Yuu with an infuriating smile. He tugged on the left sleeve of his undershirt just a bit as he spoke.
“I’ll be in your care from now on, Yuu-chan,” he said, and walked out the door. The chopsticks that Kanda had been clutching in his vice-like grip finally snapped under the strain he was putting them through.
“Damnit Yori…!” Kanda ground out, before shooting up from his seat and following the other out of the room. From the way he’d stormed out, slammed the sliding door, and had been gripping Mugen, Lavi could tell Kanda was plotting a bloody murder, yet he couldn’t find it in himself to care. For a moment the room was silent as everyone just stared at the door, which was still shaking just a bit from the force Kanda had used to close it.
“That was Yori?” Lavi blurted out before he could stop himself. He realized that he shouldn’t have said anything as it was not his place, but his curiosity had just burst! That was the “Best friend” Yuu had spoken about? Well, they hardly seemed like old buddies, but who knew, maybe that was just how Kanda had always been with friends? In which case, there was still some hope for Lavi.
The four remaining Kandas in the room all gave him the same part-questioning, part-surprised look. It was almost intimidating, being stared down by four incredibly beautiful people. Hayate was the first one to speak up.
“Yuu told you about Yori?” He asked, though it was more of a statement.
“Yeah,” Lavi replied quickly, still not quite over his own shock. “Not much though. I asked him ‘bout his family an’ all once, and when we got to the subject of friends, the name Yori came up, but that’s all he ever said. They don’t exactly get along anymore, do they?”
Hayate gave a short laugh at the understatement. “Oh, Yuu hates him, definitely. Yori is just in the habit of teasing him, always has been. Now that’s a problem though ‘cause Yuu can’t stand him. He didn’t always hate Yori, they were really good friends when they were kids…” Hayate sighed wistfully, and propped his chin up in his palm.
Naoko shot Hayate a scolding look and said, “Yuu-nii wouldn’t appreciate you telling people things about himself that he hasn’t already. Be careful what you say.”
“I know, I know, Naoko. I wasn’t plannin’ on saying much more than what was obvious,” Hayate defended, pouting in a very childish way.
“Um, anyway,” Lavi started; it was clear that he wouldn’t get any information on what had happened between Yuu and Yori at the moment, so he decided to change the subject to one with better prospects. “I’ve been meanin’ t’ ask but… You were really surprised when I called Yuu-chan Yuu-chan, why was that?”
There was another odd silence, and this time Naoko broke it, for it seemed that Hayate was too worried about his lack of discretion to speak up. “Well, we’re his family, so we’ve sort of always had the right to call him things like ‘Yuu’ and ‘Yuu-chan,’ even though he hates that honorific...” Naoko shot Hayate another look at that, and he sheepishly grinned back. “The first person outside of our family who ever called him ‘Yuu-chan’ was Yori-kun and well…After their fall-out he started getting really violent with anyone who ever tried to call him that.”
“And you told me to be careful of what I say,” Hayate muttered, and promptly dodged the spare chopsticks that were chucked at him. Lavi looked back at Naoko to see her still eating her breakfast primly.
“Ah, well then…” Lavi didn’t really know what to say about that. He felt a bit bad now, he must’ve been clawing at an old wound of Kanda’s without even realizing it all this time. Of course, it wasn’t as though he hadn’t done that before but Kanda had actually had to put up with it for two years.
“Hey, Lavi-san, I’ve got a question,” Hayate said, looking curious. Lavi nodded, signaling it was okay to continue. “What are you to Yuu, that he lets you call him by name?”
“What am I?” Lavi repeated back, and gave a hesitant grin. Now that he understood the circumstances a bit more, he imagined his self-proclaimed title held much more meaning than he’d originally thought. Even so, he wouldn’t give it up.
“I’m his best friend.”
000
Kanda stormed after Yori, not really sure why he was following. That little tug on the sleeve had been an old code of theirs; it meant that Yori wanted him to follow. Why Kanda had even bothered to pick up on it and leave was beyond him, he supposed that it was just an old habit of his now, one he hadn’t gotten out of. Whatever the case, Kanda was still pissed.
Yori was waiting near the front entrance of the house, and smirked just a bit when Kanda finally reached him.
“Half-expected you to just stay put, Yuu-chan,” he said in response to Kanda’s glower.
“Don’t you call me that, I told you not to,” Kanda snapped, his hand twitching (maybe trembling?) around Mugen. It was so hard for him to not draw his sword… “Anyway, what do you want?”
“Really? I just wanted to see if you’d actually follow,” Yori said, sounding flippant, as though it didn’t matter to him either way. Kanda had to fight to remain in control of his rage. God, he was such an idiot, actually going after Yori like this! A fool through and through.
“If that was all, I really will kill you,” Kanda ground out, his words sounding like concentrated venom. Yori revised his answer a bit in order to save his hide.
“Well, okay, that’s not all, happy?”
“Reason. Now.” Kanda had the glare of a basilisk; Yori could feel himself turning to stone under his gaze.
“My father died a little after you left,” Yori blurted out, because Kanda was looking like the devil incarnate and he really did need a reason for calling him out here or his head would roll. Really, whoever had given Kanda a sword was insane. “I know, you’d think that’d be an improvement, but it’s not, considering he didn’t teach me shit about anything, and he sure as hell didn’t leave me anything either. I’m in a financial bind at the moment and your folks are just helping me out. Just figured I should tell you that before you killed Hayate-nii.”
For a moment something like concern ran through Kanda’s mind, but he quickly shook it off. He supposed that it made sense that his family would help Yori now, though he wondered how Yori had gotten back in their good graces after everything that had happened.
“My condolences,” Kanda said grudgingly, but sincerely. He didn’t want to feel pity, but he did. He tried to remain civil as Yori scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“Please, if you start pitying me I think I just might shoot myself.”
“Just don’t kill yourself in my house.”
“Maa, maa, Kanda-san isn’t a very nice person.” Kanda huffed, his breath ruffling his long bangs.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be now?” He asked, feeling exasperated; why was he still here? He should’ve walked off by now.
“Seeing me off, hm? How sweet,” Yori teased, patting Kanda on the head. That patronizing act inspired a world of violent impulses to stir in Kanda, and finally he decided to screw being civil and just punched the older man. Yori was surprised, as Kanda knew he would be. Throughout their exchange Yori had kept his eyes on Mugen, which was still affixed to Yuu’s hip. He’d been expecting to be cut, not to be punched.
“Kanda-san has a good punch, too, better than it used to be,” Yori observed as though his jaw didn’t feel dislocated. He turned his back to Yuu and gave a little wave. “In any case, I’ll be seeing you.”
Kanda couldn’t help but feel that something about that entire exchange was very off.
000
“Ya know, I know you still hate ‘im and I can totally see why, but despite his naturally jerky personality he really is sorry.” Hayate broke the silence that surrounded the two of them. It was Kanda’s night to patrol the town, and Hayate had decided to follow even after Kanda had told him just how troublesome it would be to have a tag-along who wasn’t an exorcist. He gave his brother a strange look, wondering why Hayate was bothering to tell him this.
“Well, could’ve fooled me,” Kanda said disbelievingly. They were talking about Yori, of course, because that was all anyone saw fit to talk to him about all day after the incident at breakfast. His family just had to try and explain themselves to him, as though he was so heartless that he couldn’t understand the concept of charity. Lavi had asked about Yori all day, and Kanda had gotten closer to stabbing him than he had in a while. Thankfully, Marie didn’t ask about what had happened -- he was a safe person to be around.
“But really, if you had been there, then even you would’ve forgiven him,” Hayate said, seeming determined to make Kanda understand, “He noticed it right away when ya left, saw you leaving with that old guy and Marie-san. He stormed into the dojo, demandin’ to know why you were leaving. O’ course, he realized soon enough that his presence wasn’t appreciated, and why. Next thing we know he’s got his forehead to the floor, beggin’ forgiveness and explaining himself. I doubt you believe me when I say he was sincere, ya probably think he just pulled one over on me. But even Okaa-san believed him, and you know how she’s got that hyper-intuition thing goin’ on.”
“I get it already!” Kanda snapped; he wished everyone would stop talking about this. “Ok, he was sorry, I get it. I get that he’s in a bind now so you’re all helping him out; I’m not so stupid that I can’t even understand that! But just because Yori was sorry doesn’t mean I have to care. I’ll give a damn about his apologies when he says sorry to my face.”
Hayate sighed, shaking his head. “I’m sure he would apologize to your face if you weren’t so scary…” he muttered, and dodged the fist that came his way.
000
He was tired after a day of doing nothing but busywork in order to avoid going back home. Damn his old man, he hated the guy and was sure the feeling was mutual, if the relatively fresh burn on his back was any indication. Still, he did need to go home eventually; after all it wasn’t like he had anywhere else to go now.
Yori sighed as he walked down the familiar street of his old friend. His own house was just at the other end, but the walk always seemed so long. There were other people on the street, just three of them, and Yori tried not to stare at their outlandish appearances. Two of them were exceptionally tall and burly, both were cloaked in strange black coats that went to their ankles and had white or gold accents on them. One was nearly bald with the exception of a bizarre top-knot, and the older-looking gentleman had frizzy hair that seemed to defy gravity.
The third one looked ridiculously small next to these two, and he also looked the unhappiest. Yori recognized this person immediately as Yuu. He was in a plain black coat that lacked the strange patterns of his escorts’ coats. In one hand he held a suitcase, in the other a small bag. Kanda looked like he was ready to go on a long trip, and something about that irked Yori.
“Don’t worry Kanda-kun,” the old man said as the three passed by Yori; he tried to act as though he wasn’t there, “You’ll get used to your new life soon enough.”
“Yeah, if I don’t die first. Save your crap old man, I don’t want to hear it.” The old man looked mildly upset by the comment, but seemed to understand Yuu’s feelings. Yori was more than just a little disturbed by it himself. Yuu was going to die? What was he doing then, following those people?
Even though he knew he had no right to be worried, Yori still made a run for the Kanda estate and went into the dojo. It was definitely trespassing considering how unwelcome he was there, but he hardly cared.
“Where the hell are they taking Yuu?!” He yelled as he slammed the door back in its slider. The Kanda parents immediately looked up from their children to glare at the intruder. Naoko was so surprised by the intrusion that she dropped her stance, and likewise Hayate dropped his shinai.
“What the hell? Yuu is being taken away and you’re all in here practicing katas?” To find such an ordinary scene after just seeing Kanda walk away from his home, looking like he was never going to come back and talking about dying, it seemed so uncaring. Yori had known this family to be closer than that.
When Yori looked closer, he saw the red-rimmed eyes on Naoko and her mother, and the upset expressions of the two men of the family, well, the two that were left. He’d spoken before thinking, but was relieved to find he was wrong. The entire family settled their angry glares on him, and for a moment he remembered just how dangerous this particular group of people was when provoked.
“Where are they taking him?” He asked again in a much more composed voice when it seemed that he wouldn’t get an answer.
“He’s going to war,” their father said gravely, and he looked so much more tired than Yori had remembered.
He couldn’t believe it. War? What war? And why Yuu? He was only 14!
“Why would a child go to war?” Yori asked, despite the fact that he was only two years older than Kanda and therefore a child himself.
“He was chosen,” Hayate spit out bitterly, “He didn’t have a choice in the matter, not really. He just decided to leave without fighting for our sake. Damn kid always did put on a strong front.”
He didn’t have a choice? He was chosen? What sick army would choose a kid to fight in a war? It was despicable. Slowly, Yori made his way past the door of the dojo, unsure of whether he would be allowed in. No one made a move to stop him, but he wasn’t exactly beckoned in, either. Hayate and Naoko sat beside their parents. The family presented a united front, and it was definitely intimidating.
When he was maybe two meters away from the family, Yori dropped to his knees and bowed lowly to them. He should’ve done this a long time ago, but for so long he’d felt too ashamed to show his face to these people who had shown him nothing but kindness for so many years. He hadn’t wanted to see Yuu’s hurt expression. Still, he should’ve screwed up his courage and come here anyway, he should’ve done it while Yuu was here.
“I know it’s too late to be of any consequence, but I’m deeply sorry. Out of childish envy and spite I wronged your son, and I’ve no excuse for it. I wish I had come here sooner, before Yuu had left. I don’t ask for forgiveness, I just ask that you accept this apology.” Yori didn’t need to mention the incident; they all knew what he’d done. He wished he hadn’t though, goodness, if only he could take it back. He’d been such a child back then, taking out his anger towards the world on his closest friend, upsetting the family that had taken care of him like one of their own.
He could see that his bangs, just long enough to be swept behind his ears, were pooling on the polished floor of the dojo, if he bowed any lower he’d hit his nose.
For a moment there was silence, and no one moved. Silently the family assessed him, determining how truthful he was being.
“Why’d you wait so long to come back here?” Naoko asked, looking at him with hurt innocent child eyes.
“Shame can keep even the most resolute from doing what they should.”
Another moment of silence where Yori didn’t dare raise his head. It was a grating, uncomfortable silence, and internally he squirmed under the combined gazes of the Kanda family.
Finally, for the first time since Yori had entered, Kanda’s mother spoke. “I believe him.”
For a moment Yori didn’t believe it. He knew that if she believed him, if she accepted his apology as sincere, then eventually everyone else would, too. She was an excellent judge of character and had great intuitive powers besides; her judgment was trusted by the family. He dared risk a glance at his four prosecutors, and saw agreement in their eyes.
000
Lavi was just bursting at the seams with questions. He wanted to know what had happened so badly, but no one was going to speak about it without Kanda’s permission and Lavi wasn’t stupid enough to ask about it. He had only two options, there were only two people he could ask about it and have any hope of getting an answer from. He could ask Yuu himself, but he realized that chances were, the only answer he’d get from Kanda would be “Fuck you.”
That was the only answer he’d gotten so far, at least.
He could always ask Yori, but as it was the older boy was only around during meals, he was almost always working otherwise. Besides, Lavi didn’t much like the idea of asking that guy anything, something about Yori rubbed him the wrong way. The guy hadn’t done anything particularly suspicious or bad, but…Well, Lavi was pretty sure he’d caught Yori checking Yuu out, and maybe it was in a “I haven’t seen him in a long time and am trying to find the changes in him” way, but all the same Lavi didn’t like it. He was the only one allowed to look at Kanda like that.
Lavi pulled himself away from his thoughts for a moment. He’d been getting possessive, hadn’t he? Possessive over someone that was not his, when he wasn’t supposed to care at all about anything. Goodness, he was slipping, slipping down a steep slope that he would not be able to get back up if he wasn’t careful.
Angry with himself and determined to prove to himself that he didn’t care whether or not someone else was making eyes at Kanda (someone who undoubtedly had much more of a right to than he did), Lavi resolved to talk with Yori the next chance he got. That chance came sooner than he expected though, as that night Yori said over dinner that he had the night off from work. Hayate immediately decided to invite the boy to stay for however long he liked, and that offer was immediately taken.
It was Kanda’s turn to patrol the town again, and despite the fact that he’d been the one to ask Yori to stay, Hayate had decided to follow Kanda out, again.
Perfect, Lavi had thought when he saw Yori alone on the porch, looking as though he wanted to follow the Kanda brothers out too.
“So, seems ya caused a bit of a hubbub with your entrance a few days back,” Lavi said in lieu of a greeting as he sat next to the older boy. Yori gave him a peculiar look, and shrugged off his question. Lavi tried not to let it get on his nerves too much.
“My name’s Lavi, by the way. I don’t think we were properly introduced.” He bowed his head a little, just enough to be polite, but not enough to show any real respect. A similar nod was afforded to him. Damnit, why was this guy so annoying? He wasn’t even saying anything and Lavi just wanted to rip his head off.
“Sorry if I’m not being particularly cordial,” Yori said cooly, though even that seemed aggravating; why had he waited so long to speak? “I just don’t trust foreigners.”
Oh, so now the guy was prejudice, too, on top of being a pervert who checked out his estranged best friend when they weren’t looking?
“Ah, that sounded rude, I meant to say that I just don’t trust foreigners who act like they have a thing for Yuu-chan.”
“Well I don’t particularly care for people who look at him like he’s something to eat, either,” Lavi retorted, pissed to think that this jerk was acting as though he had special rights to the eye-feast that was Kanda Yuu.
“Looks like we’ve established a mutual dislike, Lavi-san,” Yori said, smirking with a hint of superiority, “So what is it you want with me?”
“Just curious about why Yuu-chan hates you so much.” Yori’s smirk dropped as he turned his face to glower in Lavi’s direction.
“You sure don’t waste time with pleasantries, do you?”
“It’s more my style to get to the point. In any case, care to answer my question?” Lavi was pretty sure he was not going to get an answer from Yori; it was clear as day that they would not be getting along any time soon.
“I’ll answer you if you answer me first; why does he seem to hate you, too?”
At this Lavi laughed, because when he thought about it, everything that had made his and Kanda’s relationship into the twisted thing it was had been his doing, pretty much, and it all seemed so comical when he looked back on it. Besides, Kanda didn’t hate him, not really anyway.
“Well, where to start? Ah yes, at the beginning,” Lavi said as though he were introducing a great story. “Lets see… I mistook him for a girl upon meeting him, though I can’t have been the only one to do that, kissed him the day after I met him, then told him he had six months to catch my interest, which he did despite how hard he tried not to. After that it all went downhill from there. He doesn’t hate me though, not really. He can never say he does with any meaning.”
Lavi supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised when he got punched across the porch, but he was. He blinked in surprise at Yori, who was, strangely enough, also looking at his own fist with surprise.
“Uh…Sorry ‘bout that… Just sorta happened. It’s like a damn twitch when people talk about Yuu-chan that way…”
Well, Lavi figured he deserved that one and didn’t bother getting angry over it. What an interesting “twitch” to have though.
“But did you seriously kiss him? And after only just meeting? How did you live to see the next day?” Yori was clearly incredulous, and probably a bit jealous, but at the moment he was more or less just incredulous.
“I lived because he didn’t have his weapon at the time, but that’s besides the point. I’ve answered your question, so sit down and answer mine,” Lavi said, moving back to his original spot. Yori took his seat too, though he wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic about the change in subject as Lavi was.
There was a moment of silence where Lavi prodded the man to speak with his eye. He could be patient now that he knew he was finally going to get the information he wanted.
“Ah…Well, a few years back… I wasn’t a very happy child. There were a lot of things wrong with my life back then. Yuu-chan was my close friend, but his circumstances were the total opposite of mine. I was envious of him, and sort of…betrayed him in a fit on misdirected and childish anger,” Yori explained vaguely, as if the words were being dragged out of him.
“That was a bit of a general explanation,” Lavi commented, he definitely didn’t want to settle for that. He wanted details, he wanted to know exactly what had happened! The wait was killing him! “Even I did a better job of explaining than that.”
“Yeah, you did, but the things you did didn’t make him hate you.”
“Oh…Right.” Lavi supposed that Yori’s regret made it much more difficult to talk about what happened, and didn’t push it.
The two sat in an awkward silence together until Yuu and Hayate got home.

Running From Sunrise, Chasing the Moon 8/?

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:01:39 GMT

Title: Running from Sunrise, Chasing the Moon
Pairing: CrossxAllen/TykixAllen side-pairing: LaviYuu and a secret pairing~
Rated: M because this story will get filled with fail porn, and centers around pedophila. This chapters very innocent and work safe though.
Warnings: This chapter is a little limey....but nothing serious...
Disclaimer: Saya owns the play, but not the actors. They belong to Hoshino.
Summary: He's running from what he can't avoid, and chasing after what he can never have. Allen was content serving his master, so why...?

Gosh, it's been way too long since the last update D: It was during the summer or something....mid-july? Saya wrote it while on a trip so year...early to mid-july... Dang it. Saya's gonna try to be better than that from now on, sorry >.>;

8. Story-telling
They were leaving for Venice today, Cross and Allen were. They were off to beautiful Italy, to share a wonderful three months together as uninhibited lovers, or something to that affect, Komui figured. Cross was going to have a bloody good time worrying about absolutely nothing and he was perfectly intending to leave all of his work with Komui, as he had done every year since the Chinese man had come to be under his employ. It sort of pissed Komui off a bit, made him feel indignant. Jealous too, though over what he couldn’t quite decide.
But the most annoying part of all was that just a few hours before what would undoubtedly be a wondrous voyage for Cross, that very man was in the lab with him, fretting over something or other that had happened when Komui had dared to look away from the man for one damn second. Allen was once again gone from the lab, he was most likely packing the few things the master would need for the trip over to Italy; Cross’ summer home had everything he would need once he got there, he just needed a few changes of clothes and something to occupy his time during the trip there.
“So what’d you do this time?” Komui asked, preparing himself for whatever trivial concern Cross had now.
Cross was a bit offended by the tone of voice Komui was using with him. When had Komui started getting so sarcastic with him anyway? It was as though the younger man was angry with him. Then again, Cross supposed it was perfectly possible that Komui was annoyed, he probably didn’t care to hear Cross drone on about his problems selfishly like this. Cross realized this, but he was indeed selfish by nature, so the notion was quickly tossed aside.
“I made Allen cry.”
Komui quickly turned his face to Cross, his eyes wide with surprise. Allen never cried, he hadn’t since Mana died, so what on earth had Cross said or done to elicit that response from the boy?
“Well, I’m not sure if it was really me or what, but… He woke me up yesterday morning like always, but the moment I touched him he just said “I’m sorry” and broke down on me,” Cross explained, his brows knitting together as he recounted what had happened. Komui made a similar expression, what could’ve happened to make Allen cry? His mind swirled with a million worst-case scenarios, and Komui sincerely hoped that none of them were correct.
“Did he say anything? Did he tell you what happened when he came back to his senses?”
“No, but what was more troubling than the lack of reason was the way he apologized…for some reason, it reminded me of… of her,” Cross admitted; Komui’s eyebrows shot up together, this was undoubtedly the first time in years that Cross had mentioned her himself, without Komui speaking of her first.
“What do you mean? You used to say that they were nothing alike, at first that was your whole reason for liking him, and now you’re saying Allen reminds you of… of Maria?”
Maria-the name that had been taboo in the Marian household for nearly 7 years now, the name of the only woman Cross had ever given his heart to. The woman whom Komui suspected had taken that very heart with her to the grave. The name was familiar to his tongue in the same way food was to a malnourished person; the mouth remembered it, but only faintly, as though it were a phantom on his pallet.
“I know, I know, and to that affect, they’re still completely different, but… There was just something about the unexpectedness of it all that reminded me of what happened back then.” Cross sighed wearily, he didn’t want to deal with this again, he didn’t know if he could, and it was a rare thing for Cross to be unsure of himself.
“Are you worried that Allen will leave?” Komui asked, as though the idea was preposterous. Allen would never leave the manor, or Cross, the boy was far too attached, unhealthily so. Cross was just being foolish now, certainly. This was so unlike the over-confident master though, doubting Allen! Heck, Cross was doubting his own ability to charm and amore people in general, wasn’t he?
Sadly though, Cross didn’t seem to share Komui’s sentiments, and Komui could understand that. No one had expected Maria to leave either, but then again, she and Allen were on two opposite sides of the spectrum in terms of loyalty. Komui sighed in a disappointed manner.
“Cross, you’ve nothing to fear, alright? The situation may seem similar, but Maria and Allen are different, completely so. For starters, Maria was as much of a man-eater as you are a womanizer, she had a previous lover to actually leave with. Allen, on the other hand, is sorely lacking in that department. Besides, he’s a great deal more focused on you than she was. Have some faith in the kid. If it’s really bothering you, then tell him about it. I’m sure he’d understand your worries if you just explained them to him, and he’d assure you there’s nothing to fear.”
Cross nodded, before placing his face in his hand. “You’re right; I’m getting paranoid over nothing…”
“Exactly. You’re Cross Marian, for goodness sakes; there are maybe only one in a million people who could walk away from you. And in any case, even if you ever do end up without a real lover, at least I’ll still be around for you to come crying to,” Komui said, staring intently at the beaker he had in hand, he didn’t think he could look Cross in the face. Cross huffed a bit at that last remark.
“I wouldn’t cry,” Cross said, scowling.
“Perhaps that’s the problem?” Komui muttered under his breath. The statement went unheard by Cross.
000
Agitation was ill befitting of Tyki Mikk. In an attempt to make it seem as though nothing was amiss, he’d gone out on his usual morning walk. But it wasn’t his usual morning walk now, Allen wasn’t there. Worse yet, he knew exactly where Allen was and that made jealousy surge through Tyki like nothing else had. It felt as though Allen were choosing Cross over him; and he was, of course, Allen’s master had to come before everyone. Though Tyki didn’t want to think such things, his mind wouldn’t stop torturing him with ideas and scenarios that were decidedly not-platonic. Tyki knew that if he were in Cross’ place, he wouldn’t be able to resist taking advantage.
Feeling more annoyed than he could ever remember being, Tyki briskly walked to his study, fell into his desk chair, and grabbed his cigarettes. He took out three and lit them all; who’s afraid of a bit of cancer?
Lavi was left speechless for a moment when he saw this, but quickly regained his bearings and stormed into the room. Quickly snatching two out if the three cigarettes, he gave his master a disapproving and confused look. Tyki had been slowly quitting smoking, decreasing the amount he smoked a day, and while Lavi had no idea what had brought about the sudden change, he was thankful for it. He would understand if maybe Tyki was just craving cigarettes, but smoking three at once was just ridiculous.
“Master, you may be going through withdrawal, but that’s hardly a reason to storm around like a child and shove three coffin nails in your mouth,” Lavi said in a scolding manner, but he was immediately taken aback when he saw his master’s expression. Tyki was pissed, and Lavi wasn’t sure if it was his fault or not. Without thinking, he took a step back.
Lavi had never had the displeasure of dealing with Tyki when he looked so…well, he looked ready to bite someone’s head off. Lavi had no desire to lose his head.
“Um…sir, is there something you’d like to talk about? You seem upset,” Lavi said, trying to sound polite. He couldn’t imagine what had happened on his master’s morning walk that could anger the man so.
“It’s nothing, I just…need some time to cool down, if you don’t mind,” Tyki said, sighing at his own inability to control his emotions. There was no need for him to scare his own assistant.
“If you’re sure, Master…” Lavi said, sounding anything but. Tyki nodded and dismissed the younger man. Sighing, he held his face in his hands; God, he was a fool. He had no business being possessive of someone who was not his. He also had no real reason to believe that Allen had anything more than a master/servant relationship with Cross Marian. There was no reason to be upset, so why did he feel so angry?
The summer was going to be so long.
000
The walls were a pale, cerulean blue, as were the sheer curtains that hung around the four-poster bed. The beautiful sheets of a dark royal blue color shone dully in the morning light that could only ever complement the room’s colors. Calming, that’s what this room was.
Allen found waking up in this room a bit disconcerting at first. They were in Venice now, they had arrived the evening before, too worn and tired from their three-day trip to do much more than drop their things in a corner and fall into bed together. Sleep had been quick to join them.
Now as Allen’s eyes took in the pale light of the room, he wished he could close them and go back to sleep. Then he remembered that he could actually do that; after all, this was as much his vacation as it was Cross’. At this house, there was someone else here who took care of the house and kept everything running; all Allen had to do was take care of his master and his master exclusively.
A moment after Allen woke, he felt a hand softly petting his hair, and without thinking he leaned into the contact, feeling very much like a content cat. He felt heavy with sleep and he didn’t much fancy the idea of being active yet. Cross however, didn’t seem to share those sentiments exactly.
The older man sighed, and ran his free hand through his own hair, grimacing at the dirty feel. If there was one thing Cross hated above all else when it came to traveling, it was how dirty it made him. Any bath that wasn’t his own was automatically too dirty to really clean him, and usually made him feel even more contaminated.
“I can’t believe we slept when we’re so disgusting,” he said with a groan. Allen let out a little chuckle; it was just like his master to feel that way. Sighing, Allen sat up, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Cross did the same a moment later, and the two of them left for the bath chamber.
Everything was a beautiful gray and white color in this room, and the bath was more like a pool than a bath. It was made of white marble and was built into the floor. It was three feet deep and five feet in either direction. The water had already been changed for the day, and was steaming hot, made translucent with bath oils. All in all, it looked inviting. It hardly took a moment for the two to strip and submerge themselves in the water.
“My favorite part of this house is most definitely the bath,” Cross said with a sigh. Allen made a content little noise in agreement as he leaned against the side of the bath. This was wonderful, he was free to let his mind wander, and he was leaving England and all of the problems that had come up there behind. Allen sunk under the water a bit more and blew some bubbles in the water.
“How childish,” Cross commented, an interesting little smirk on his face. Allen sat up straight and huffed.
“There’s nothing wrong with me being a bit childish.”
“I never said there was. I was thinking it was cute, it’s not often that you seem like a kid anymore,” Cross said, and vaguely, Allen noted he sounded a bit guilty.
“It’s not often that I feel like acting as one,” Allen replied. He sunk back into the water again, but this time he kept his face above the surface. For a moment they just silently took pleasure in the clean feeling the water around them offered. Then Cross motioned for him to come over, and Allen curiously sat in front of his master.
“Turn around,” Cross commanded, and Allen did. A moment later he was doused with hot water. Allen pouted a bit and attempted to blow a wet strand of hair out of his face.
“A bit of warning would be appreciated, Master,” Allen commented dryly; Cross just chuckled a dumped another bucket of water on the kid’s head. Once Allen was properly soaked, he reached to his left to pick up one of the bottles on the side of the bath. Allen was a bit surprised when he realized that for once it was Cross washing his hair instead of the other way around. It felt nice to feel his master’s hands massaging sweet-scented oils into his scalp. Contentedly, Allen let out a little sigh.
“Allen, I’ve got… a bit of a story for you,” Cross said suddenly. Allen inclined his head thoughtfully to show he was listening. Cross tried to stop himself from just saying a bunch of bullshit to get out of this situation, Komui had told him to tell Allen about that incident, and while he hated speaking about it, he supposed Allen did have some right to know.
“There was once a young man, who was just spectacular at everything he did, and really he was just born to be beautiful.” Allen chuckled and rolled his eyes; the only man Cross would ever compliment like that was himself.
“The young man was a noble, so it wasn’t very unusual for him to be betrothed to someone almost from birth. The young man met his wife-to-be when he was just a child, as was she. They absolutely hated each other from the moment they met. Their entire childhood consisted of trying to best each other, and as they grew into teenagers they made it a point to lavish all of their attention on anyone but each other. She had her lovers and so did he. It was not until the young man’s best friend pointed out that they were incredibly alike and nearly perfect for each other that they realized it themselves though.”
Wait, so Cross had been married once? Well, engaged at least but…Allen had never known that, though he should’ve figured, Cross was a noble after all. And he’d had a wife who was…just like him, from the sounds of it. Vaguely Allen wondered how much criticism she had to put up with, women always had it worse than men when it came to matters of infidelity. Still… If Cross had a perfect fiancé, then where was she?
“Within the next year they had suddenly grown much closer, and had dropped all of their lovers, and even most of their bad habits. Within two years of that they had plans to be married. Before then, neither of the two thought they could be happy while tied down to someone else, but somehow the thought of being together wasn’t so bad, as long as they were together in the end – Or at least, that’s what the young man had thought.
“For a while it seemed that the feeling was mutual, but one day the woman just apologized out of the blue. The young man didn’t understand why she had at the time, but he figured it out the next morning when he woke alone with nothing but a note explaining that she’d run off with the one lover that she couldn’t let go of.”
Allen’s eyes couldn’t have been wider. So there was actually a woman in the world that could leave Cross? It seemed so bizarre; Allen wondered why the world hadn’t imploded in on itself. He closed his eyes tightly when he heard Cross gather up another bucket of water to dump over his head; this time it was intended to rinse him off.
“Over the next year, the young man dove headfirst back into his old habits, and at first he hardly noticed that his trusted butler had gained a second shadow. But he did, eventually, because it was hard not to notice the oddly colored squirt. Especially when said squirt glared at him every morning, and wondered aloud in his little cockney accent why on earth his surrogate father bothered to wait on the young man.”
Allen huffed a bit at Cross’ description of him, there was no need to call him a squirt, he hadn’t been that short, surely. The white-haired teen realized that the story was not yet finished though, and wondered what had happened in the past 8 or so years right under his nose that he had not noticed.
“At that time, the young man couldn’t help but compare everything the little kid did to what she had done when she was young. It was understandable- or so said the best friend- the kid had come in just as the woman had left. At first the two were startlingly alike, which annoyed the young man to no end, but it didn’t take more than a year for the child to change into someone completely different. He became her opposite, in essence, the one person the young man could look at without being reminded of the woman who had left. He hadn’t been here when she had left, he didn’t look at the young man with pity, and he had no ties with her at all, really. It wasn’t long before the young man was intrigued, if for no other reason than because this new person was safe, in a way.”
Allen pondered over the meaning of this story as Cross got a soapy washcloth and started rubbing small circles over his back. It felt nice, and thankfully it kept Allen’s mind from going down a particularly depressing path.
“But then, just two years after she’d gone and the young man was finally ready to give up the ghost and move on, he received a letter. The man whom she thought had been the better choice had been the wrong choice. She was a woman with a past of infidelity, and her lover didn’t trust her now that he had her. He turned abusive and well, she’d never been the kind of woman who’d take something like that without saying anything. She intended to steal away by night and return to the young man, if he’d still have her.
“He still would, indeed. On the day that they were supposed to meet to bring her back home though, something terrible happened. Her lover had caught up with her and murdered her in the street. It was an ill-befitting death for her. The young man had made it to their meeting place on time only to watch as the paramedics carried away her body.
“The lover was apprehended, but the young man still blamed himself for her death. If he had only gotten to their meeting place earlier, he could’ve saved her, if only he had held onto her tighter, made it so that she couldn’t leave the safety of his home in the first place, if only he had realized earlier that there had been someone planning to take her away… She would’ve lived, he was sure of it.
“And so her name became a taboo in his home, and the only two with the guts to speak of her were the butler and the best friend. The squirt was slowly growing into a refined young man, and thankfully he was still a safe person who knew nothing of the incident. Years passed and the butler died. Along with the butler went his son.”
Allen stiffened under Cross’ hands. He was definitely still alive, and Allen really hoped that Cross wasn’t old enough to have had two butlers with sons die on him. Really, if two people Cross cared about in some abstract way or other died, then what did that say about Allen’s future…? Perhaps this was his fair warning.
“Well, the boy didn’t really die,” Cross said in response to Allen’s sudden tenseness, “But he was like the living dead. Now the kid was reminding the young man of himself, and he couldn’t help but want to change that. He felt something akin to empathy with the boy. He couldn’t just leave the boy like that, so for reasons unknown even to himself at the time, he offered to take the place of that boy’s important person. Really though, the young man just needed someone to be her replacement. The boy accepted, and the two of them became stand-ins for someone else.
“Eventually though, the young man began to see the boy as more than just a replacement, and the child became truly dear to him. However, even though the boy was the woman’s opposite in every way, the young man couldn’t help but feel anxious now that there was someone close to him again. Would this person run off? Would this person die? Without realizing it, the young man began tightening his grip on the boy, and despite what the best friend said on the matter, the man couldn’t loosen his hold on the boy. And so the story went and still goes… Crappy ending, hm?”
Allen’s head was swimming. He had been a replacement? Well, he supposed it was only fair, seeing as Cross had taken up the place Mana had in him, though he did so in a completely different way, of course. Still, it hurt to know that. And who was that woman, anyway? Who was she that she could mean so much to Cross Marian? He’d loved her enough to give up womanizing and even his other bad habits, if the story was anything to go by.
Allen couldn’t help but think that Cross didn’t care for him nearly as much as he had cared about her. It was stupid to be envious of a dead woman, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d been trying to get his master to quit drinking and smoking for years, but to no avail, and yet this woman had made him drop both in a year’s time! Allen had never even imagined that it would be possible to get Cross to stop womanizing too, really he felt that was just plain impossible because Cross was a borderline nymphomaniac and Allen didn’t think he could keep up with that on his own. Yet this woman (who perhaps had the same addiction to sex that Cross had) had gotten him to drop all of his lovers.
Even if Cross did care for Allen as much as he had cared about her, at the very least it was in a different, more guarded way. Still, Allen couldn’t get hung up on that. That woman was dead, and now it was Allen whom his master needed to keep close. Allen decided then that he would not do what she had done. He would not make her mistake.
Naturally that made Allen think of Tyki. He’d have to stop seeing the man. Even if he did enjoy the older man’s company, it was dangerous to stay around him. Last they’d seen each other Tyki had tried to kiss him, after all, and Allen had nearly kissed him back. It was one of those temptations that he would be better just cutting out of his life. His master had to come first.
At the end of all of his thinking though, Allen finally came to a conclusion on why Cross had told him this. He wasn’t trying to justify himself, but it was clear that he was trying to explain why he was always so possessive of Allen. Cross just didn’t want him to go away, he didn’t want something horrible to happen to him, he just didn’t want to lose Allen. He just wanted Allen to know why he kept him on such a short leash.
And that was the thought that made Allen turn around to face his master even though he had not been told to.
“I’m not her, Master,” Allen said quietly, looking his master intently in the eye. He got to his knees and leaned over, pressing his lips softly to Cross’ forehead. “I won’t leave, I swear it.”
At that time Allen had been certain he could keep his promise.
000
As the two got out of the bath an hour later, Allen decided to ask the question that had been bugging him ever since he’d heard that story.
“Um…Master Cross?”
“Yes, Allen?”
“You mentioned that a “best friend” knew something about us… Does that mean Komui knows?” Allen asked, wondering how he’d ever be able to look the Chinese man in the eye again. Oh goodness, all of these years he’d acted under the pretense that Komui hadn’t known and yet all along the man had been making comments on their relationship…! It was strangely mortifying.
“Ashamed of your own lover, Allen?” Cross asked teasingly, and Allen vigorously shook his head. He wasn’t ashamed, it was just that he imagined it would be very easy for anyone who knew to misunderstand the situation. Most people would think he’d gotten his job by sleeping with his boss, and both his and Cross’ reputations would be dragged through the mud.
“Not at all Cross!”
“I know. In any case, he does know, but I didn’t tell him. We’ve known each other since we were teens, and he’d taken care of you like you were his brother since the day you came to my home. He noticed the difference right away, and just flat-out asked me what had happened. Needless to say, he was quite pissed to find that his “precious little brother” had been deflowered. I was beaten severely for that one. And, in case you were wondering, that’s what happened to Lab three.”
“Lab three…? But didn’t that…?”
“Precisely.”
“Oh. Oh…”
Cross chuckled and threw a fluffy towel on Allen’s head.
000
For once, it was Lavi who was out for a walk instead of Tyki. He didn’t get why, but suddenly Tyki had decided not to go on his beloved morning walks anymore. A lot had changed about Tyki recently. He was moody, for one; he was quick to anger, but then Lavi couldn’t even get angry back because the next moment he would be in the throws of despair. It was so unusual for Tyki to act in such an erratic way, Lavi just couldn’t understand it. Maybe it was just withdrawal making him cranky? Lavi hoped that was it.
But, in any case, this had been going on for a good two weeks, and someone had to do the things that Tyki usually did in the mornings, so Lavi decided it only made sense that he do those things. Well of course, now he was finished with all of those things. Honestly, he had no idea how Tyki could drag out those few simple errands into hours. Lavi also could not understand what would happen on a walk that would make Tyki come home in such strange moods all of the time.
In any case, he had extra time now to do with what he pleased. As he walked down the road he realized he was pretty close to the Marian estate. If he was not mistaken, Lenalee worked and lived there. Lavi hadn’t seen her very often since their primary school days, but every once in a while they would see each other on the streets and talk for a bit, and they still wrote to each other. Lavi had never visited her at her home, because he didn’t want her psychopath of an older brother to kill him while under the impression that Lavi was a potential suitor…
But maybe today he could do that?
With the idea of visiting his old friend on his mind, Lavi happily made his way to the Marian estate. It stood out quite grandly on the horizon, though it’s large, elegant gates deterred Lavi just a bit. Would he even be allowed in without a proper reason? Oh goodness, there was even a guard! Though wait… Lavi squinted hard in the direction of the guard.
Thin frame, long hair, and as Lavi got closer he noticed that the person’s face was fairly pretty though it was still not clear to him yet. Was the guard a woman? When Lavi was about three meters away, he realized that the guard was definitely not a woman. Skinny as he was, he was far too flat to be a woman, and from what Lavi could see, he seemed to have a more wiry build than feminine. His face was pretty and a bit androgynous, with lovely slanted eyes, but he was definitely a man.
A familiar man at that, but the redhead just couldn’t place it. He wasn’t the only one who felt that way it seemed, as the man gave him a surprised look of recognition. Apparently, he found Lavi much easier to identify. Lavi thought hard, trying to think of where he would’ve met this boy. A pretty Asian boy, who worked at the Marian manor and appeared to be about his age…
“Holy Hell, Yuu?” Lavi asked, looking completely taken aback. He hadn’t seen Yuu since a little after they’d gotten out of primary school! At that time Kanda had been living off the streets, so they had lost contact after primary school. Lavi had never really understood why Kanda had never bothered to visit him at the Mikk household, at least he hadn’t until he’d lost an eye in an unfortunate accident that had followed after he had brought Kanda there himself once.
Kanda’s eyes couldn’t have been wider as he stared at the redhead. So it really was Lavi? He had thought the man had just forgotten about him over the years, he’d almost hoped the redhead would. What was he doing here though? Maybe he was here for Lenalee? Kanda knew that the girl, who had also gone to primary school with them, still talked with Lavi and she occasionally asked why Kanda never tried to contact him after he had gotten his job at the Marian manor.
“Lavi…? What are you doing here?” Kanda asked, for this had never happened before. Instead of answering Kanda’s question, Lavi pouted for a moment before all but launching himself at Kanda, embracing the boy in a bear hug. Kanda was stunned, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been hugged, or touched by another human being for that matter. He’d been taken almost directly off the streets and brought to the manor by Lenalee, and no one wanted to touch an irate street rat with murderous impulses. Yet here Lavi was, hugging him like they were the best of friends and hadn’t been out of contact for the better part of a decade.
“Geez Yuu! If you’ve been livin’ here this whole time, why did you never bother to contact me? A call, a letter, a message sent through Lenalee, anything would’ve been nice! Honestly I had no idea where you were, I had no idea how to find you!” Lavi scolded, pulling away from the still-shocked Kanda to give him an upset look. “Or was it that you just didn’t wanna see me?”
Kanda was still just a bit too overwhelmed to really speak at the moment, so he just blinked until he felt he could open his mouth without making an ass of himself.
“I… It wasn’t that,” was all he could manage to say. He had missed Lavi, of course he had, the redhead had been the first person to show him kindness when he’d been brought to England against his will, they’d been so close… But he had just assumed that when he’d left, Lavi would go on with life and forget him.
“Good, ‘cause I’d have been most offended if that were the case,” Lavi said with a light, teasing tone, as though he wouldn’t have believed Kanda even if he had said that was the case. Not caring that he was dressed in his nicely tailored clothes, or that he was probably getting in Kanda’s way, Lavi took a seat on the ground near the front gate.
“Hey, you can’t just sit around like that,” Kanda pointed out, but Lavi just laughed it off.
“Fine then, talk to me. I’m sure if you are then I can be allowed to stick around? I wanna know what happened Yuu, after you left,” Lavi said, and he looked up at Kanda with such genuine care and joy that the raven-haired man couldn’t help but do as told.

The Flower and Willow World 4/4

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:42:55 GMT

Title: The Flower and Willow World
Pairing: LaviYuu, slight, one-sided TykiKanda
Rated: PG-M
Warnings: AU, so there's no spoilers. There's some smexing, but it's very nondescript. This is the kind of thing that E for everyone in the LK fandom...
Disclaimer: Saya owns the play, but not the actors. They belong to Hoshino.
Summary: In the Flower and Willow world, one is allowed to love, but only if the person they love can pay the price for them. Sadly, Lavi can't pay that price. How does love bloom in the Flower and Willow world?

Oh look, the last chapter....the OOC hits an all-time high and the ending is super sugary...Dx But either way, Saya loved writing it *3* She hopes you enjoyed reading it~! Thanks for all of your kind comments on this fic!

4- Our Dramatic conclusion
Though the trouble with Haruka had been easily resolved, Yuu still had two very big problems, and this was something that couldn’t be resolved with understanding or just choosing, even. Clearly, when it came to having a danna, Kanda would want Lavi, but this wasn’t something Kanda would get a choice in, it was first come, first serve. Kanda knew (for it was his business to know) that Tyki had the finances to back up his words right now if he wanted to, whereas Lavi, though he was now a certified doctor, was still building up his credibility, and it could take a few years before he was making as much as the old doctor did.
It was obvious who would be the fastest to take Kanda, and that was exactly why Kanda was avoiding Lavi like his life depended on it. He couldn’t face Lavi while feeling like he was going to end up betraying the man. So Kanda acted cold and indifferent when he had to be around the older man, and avoided being with the redhead when he could help it. This didn’t go unnoticed by his friends, it couldn’t be overlooked.
“Kan-chan, what’s up with you lately? Ever since your brother came here, you’ve been actin’ coldly towards Lavi. Yer breakin’ the man’s heart, what’d he do to deserve that?” Daisya asked, looking annoyed with Kanda’s recent behavior. Kanda didn’t respond and told Fou to tie his obi a bit tighter.
“Give him a break Daisya,” Komui said, “he’s got a lot to think about right now.”
“Yeah, well it’d be a lot easier to be as sympathetic as you are if I knew why the heck he’s actin’ this way!” Daisya huffed, as he placed a final comb in his hair. Kanda knew he was being unfair to both Lavi and Daisya for not giving either of them an explanation, but he couldn’t help it, it was just in his nature to avoid the things he didn’t want to deal with, and telling anyone about this problem was most definitely out of the question.
000
A month. A whole month had gone by since Haruka had left, and Yuu had not said a word to him! Lavi was beyond feeling sorry for himself now, had passed by anger, and was headed for rage. What had he done to deserve the silent treatment? Ok, so they had gotten caught together, and Lavi could see Kanda being more careful from then on out, and at first that’s what Lavi had assumed Kanda was doing. But a whole month and not even a “Hello” was pushing it.
Well, Lavi certainly wouldn’t stand for that a moment longer! Oh no, today was the day that he would make a stand and get Yuu to give him a reason for the cold behavior! So Lavi marched into the okiya that afternoon, knowing that at least for the day he had no appointments to go to, and that he had a precious few hours before Kanda had to leave for work.
“Dai-kun, where’s Yuu?” Lavi asked when he past the brunette boy. Daisya raised an eyebrow at Lavi curiously.
“He’s in the backyard on the porch. Didn’t you see him on your way here?” the younger boy asked, knowing that Lavi always cut through the backyard, rather than doing the proper thing and walking to the front. Lavi opened his mouth to respond, but instead just slapped his palm over his face and sighed at his own idiocy. Turning back on his heel, he bid Daisya good day, before heading to the back to find Yuu-chan. He faintly heard Daisya murmur “Good luck” under his breath.
000
Kanda felt like such a damn coward, sitting on the porch and staring into his neighbor’s yard because he couldn’t round up the courage to actually go see Lavi. He felt like he was 10 all over again, too afraid and shy and worried to just cross into the other’s yard. And when Lavi had actually walked right through the okiya’s yard and hadn’t even spared Kanda a glace...well, that hurt, but Kanda supposed he deserved the cold treatment. You get what you give, and all that jazz.
“You know, staring never got anyone anywhere.” Were Kanda a more easily frightened being, he would’ve jumped out of his skins and fallen off the porch. But as he was a well-composed geisha, he did not even startle at the voice. Kanda felt like the world was going to crush him, as the anxiety that he’d been trying to stave off crashed onto his shoulders.
He couldn’t tell Lavi about this yet, he just couldn’t. The more time wore on, and the more Yuu saw of Tyki, the more he realized that the older man was serious, and that his becoming Kanda’s danna was inevitable. He simply couldn’t tell Lavi that, because Kanda knew better than anyone how angry Lavi would get, the redhead was much more possessive than one would think, considering that he loved someone of Kanda’s profession.
“Wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding me like the plague, Yuu?” Lavi asked, with a sour look on his face. Naturally he was pissed at Kanda for avoiding him. Maybe this would all be easier to leave behind if Lavi hated him? Kanda considered this for a moment, and neglected to answer Lavi.
“Don’t you ignore me when I’m sitting right next to you! We’re alone right now you know, no one’s going to hear you if you give me your reason why.” Daisya was inside making sure that what Lavi said was true by diverting all traffic from this general area. Still, Kanda made no move to answer. Lavi was getting less and less angry and was starting to look more hurt than anything else. Kanda was diligently looking at a patch of grass and couldn’t see the older man’s expression, but he could feel hurt and confusion rolling off the other in waves.
“What did I do to make you hate me so much, Yuu?”
Kanda bit his lip; that one stung, a lot. Kanda didn’t hate Lavi, not at all, even if he did call the older man a jerk and a pervert and any number of things really, Kanda definitely did not hate Lavi. Kanda’s head sunk just a little; the small gesture alerted Lavi to Kanda’s inner turmoil, and the redhead switched from offensive to worried.
“Yuu? Are you alright?”
“...I’m...I’m fine...” The first thing Kanda had said to Lavi in a month, and it was a blatant lie.
“No, you’re not. What’s wrong Yuu? Is whatever troubling you the reason you won’t talk to me anymore?” Lavi hit the nail on the head there, and Kanda’s continuing silence was answer enough for Lavi. “What’s eatin’ at ya? This wouldn’t be the first time you told me about your worries, so why are you holding back now?”
‘Because this will hurt you the most.’
Kanda could see no way short of making a run for his room that would get him out of the situation, and Lavi was quicker than he was anyway. Kanda braced himself for Lavi’s reaction, and mumbled the reason under his breath.
“Huh? Yuu-chan, I can’t hear you when ya mumble like that,” Lavi said, looking happier now that Kanda was answering him, but frustrated because he couldn’t actually hear the boy.
“Ty...ans...danna...” Lavi had made out a word or two this time, but he still could not understand the boy.
“Speak up, Yuu!”
“I said Tyki is planning to become my danna!” Kanda all but yelled out, angry with being told to speak louder about something he didn’t want to admit. He huffed into the cool air once, and then, realizing what he’d just said, sucked in a surprised breath of air. Tentatively, Kanda looked over to Lavi, only to find that the man’s one green eye had widened impossibly, and that his expression was one of utter shock.
“I... I didn’t want to say anything about it just yet but... It was odd to be around you knowing that... and this guy is serious, the moment I become a full-fledged geisha, he is planning to make the offer to Bak-san.”
Lavi had no idea how he should handle this. Since before he had even met Yuu, he’d been captivated by him, and since the beginning, he had planned to have Kanda for himself. This simply could not be tolerated; no one could be allowed to take Kanda away from him. But what could he do? Currently, Lavi was building up credibility with his clients as a competent doctor, and he had taken most of the Doctor’s old patients, but he had yet to earn as much as the old man did, and it might take years for Lavi to get to that level. But Lavi didn’t have years; he had a little more than half a year. Compared to someone with a steady income that was confident in his ability to pay for the daily expenses of a geisha, Lavi had no chance.
“Yuu... I...” What could Lavi say now that would have any effect on the distressed boy? He had never experienced anything like this himself, and he had no idea what to do, when faced with the knowledge that the person he loved was going to be given to another man in a ceremony that was nearly identical to marriage.
“I’m going to try, Yuu, by God I swear I’m going to try. I’m sorry...but it’s all I can do.” Lavi pulled the boy into a tight embrace, and Kanda, his eyes unseeing and just a bit misty, tightly clenched his fingers around the material of the older man’s yukata. Neither of them cried or got angry as one might’ve expected, they just sat together as a silent comfort to each other, until they both felt they could let go.
“Yuu,” Lavi said, when he noticed Daisya motioning to him at the door. Clearly, it was time for Kanda to go. “Yuu.” Lavi shook the boy a little, and roused him from his drowsy state. “You’ve got to go now, Yuu. If you don’t, Bak will scold you for being late.”
Kanda looked up at Lavi with slightly wet eyes; he looked so close to crying, though Lavi knew he never would, that he just wanted to keep the boy here all the more.
“I don’t want to go, I’m going to see him again,” the boy said bitterly. Lavi ran a hand over Kanda’s hair in a soothing manner.
“I know you don’t want to go, but right now you have to. Besides, Daisya is looking ready to come out here himself and get you.” Kanda turned to look in the direction Lavi was facing, and saw that indeed, Daisya was already making his way over to the pair. Turning back to Lavi, Kanda stood up, and left.
000
The day had been planned out perfectly, and the okiya had been cleaned and rearranged and made to sparkle. It was only a week away, and everyone was twittering with excitement. Kanda Yuu, the most popular maiko their side of the hanamachi had seen in years, was finally going to be tied to his danna. The offer had been officially brought to Bak by Tyki, and though Lavi tried to fight it, he was soon shown that he could not win against the financial security that Tyki Mikk offered.
Kanda was close to inconsolable, in his own introverted way, and the only ones who could understand his plight were Daisya and Komui. Even Lenalee, who had long since grown into a beautiful and very insightful young woman, was clueless as to why Kanda was so unhappy on such a usually joyous occasion.
“Kan-chan, I know this is going to be difficult for you, but... You will get used to it, you’ll learn to be happy with it, even. Besides, it’s not like you’ll never see Lavi again, you can visit the okiya anytime you want to.” Komui tried to sooth the younger boy, but in the end he only reminded both Kanda and Daisya of the fact that they would no longer be rooming together, as Tyki had requested that Kanda move in with him, and Kanda had no idea how to say no to that without seeming suspicious.
“Easy for you to say, Komui,” Kanda said bitterly, “You actually love your danna, and you’ve got a perfectly good reason to stay in the okiya because Lenalee is here, so you don’t have to leave. Things couldn’t have worked out better for you.”
“I... Kanda...” Komui could not think of anything comforting to say in the face of these facts, and chose instead to simply state things as they were, from a more detached point of view. “Look, whether you like it or not, someone is offering to pay off all of your daily expenses and then some. You should be grateful, and it is your job to do as this person pleases, so you’d better do it well. Put on your mask, and face the facts. This isn’t going to change anytime soon, and just because you don’t want it, doesn’t mean that you can stop it.”
“Komui!” Daisya exclaimed, angry with their onii-san’s blunt speech. “Saying things like that is not going to help any! Truth or not, at least let the kid keep some of his hope intact!”
“No,” Kanda interjected quietly. “No, Daisya...Komui is right. I need to face the reality, and deal with it. I am not so weak that I can’t even put on my mask and play the part of a good geisha for my danna.” The cool, expressionless voice Kanda used made Komui instantly regret what he’d said. Kanda may be more determined to move on now, but he was a far cry from happy.
Silently, Kanda stood up and left his room. As he walked through the halls he got many congratulations, and he put on his fake smile, the one he never used in the okiya with people he actually cared for, and thanked them as if they were all his costumers. When he reached the backyard though, he pulled up the hem of his yukata and made a running jump over the low fence that separated his yard from Lavi’s. He hit the ground running too, and quickly entered the older man’s house, checking to be sure that no one from the okiya was in the yard. It wasn’t abnormal for him to go to Lavi’s house, but with the ever-nearing date of his ceremony, such a visit could easily be seen as scandalous.
Kanda only bothered to be polite when he reached the door he knew led to Lavi’s room, and by then he’d made so much noise running through the house that Lavi was coming out of the room to see what all of the noise was about. The redhead raised an eyebrow at Kanda’s flustered expression, but stepped aside in a silent invitation. Kanda had never gone into Lavi’s room before, because to actually go into another person’s room alone was just absolutely shameless for a geisha. Kanda couldn’t be bothered with shame though, heck, maybe a bad rumor or two would halt his ceremony for a while.
“What’s with the sudden visit, Yuu?” Lavi asked, looking Kanda over for a moment. The boy was slightly winded and his tabi were dirty from running outside without shoes on. Kanda didn’t bother to answer verbally, and all but threw himself at Lavi in a very out of character fashion. Normally Lavi would be overjoyed by the younger man’s excitement and take advantage of the opportunity given to him. However, with the knowledge of what was to happen in a few days time, this meeting felt very similar to an affair, and Lavi felt a bit too much like the other man for his liking.
Gently, Lavi pushed Yuu away. “Yuu, what’s going on with you? You do realize how much this could hurt your good name, don’t you?”
“I don’t care anymore. I’ll face everything tomorrow as it is, but I’ll get what I want before then!”
Get what he wanted? What did Yuu mean by that, Lavi wondered? The redhead could think of quite a few things it seemed like Kanda wanted, but all of which would have very serious repercussions later on, if anyone ever found out about them.
“Yuu,” Lavi sighed and shook his head. “I can’t do that now. Even if it isn’t official yet, you basically belong to someone else now, it would be wrong to do anything together at this point in time.”
Kanda glared at Lavi with the intensity of hell. “Che, so that’s all it takes to make you quit? Was this whole thing just some game to you then? Are you dropping out and quitting just because you couldn’t win fairly and be the first one to become my danna? Well, if that’s the case, then yes, you’ve lost, and since I’m apparently the prize in your little game, I’d better go to the person who won me.” Kanda turned from Lavi sharply and made for the door. Before he could think, Lavi reached out and stopped Kanda, as the younger boy knew he would. The edges of his lips quirked up into the beginnings of a smirk.
“Wait Yuu! You know that you were never some prize to me, why would you say that?”
“Well, that’s how you are treating me. You haven’t come to see me at all since the date for the ceremony was set. You’re sulking like a child who’s lost a race.”
“I am no-”
“But the fact is, this is a race, and it isn’t over yet! I don’t care if you have to cheat to win, and I can live with the fact that you won’t be my danna, but this isn’t over yet. You don’t have to play fair to win, Lavi. You could still be the first.”
Lavi just stared at Kanda in amazement. He wasn’t suggesting what Lavi thought he was suggesting, now was he? The question must’ve been clear on his face, for Kanda nodded to him.
“Yuu, that isn’t the kind of thing you can take back later, and no matter how careful I am, people will notice. Are you even sure of what you’re saying?”
“Of course I am. I’ve got a few days before the ceremony, more than enough time to heal. We can think of something to hide it later, but right now it’s all up to you,” Kanda said, staring Lavi straight in the eye. It was impossible to look away, and even harder for Lavi to not fall for Yuu’s charming, yet positively demanding eyes.
In the end, Lavi couldn’t say no. He walked up to Kanda, cupped the younger boy’s face in his hands, and kissed him deeply. Quickly, they became involved more intimately than they ever had before. In an exploring, loving flurry of kisses and gentle touches, the two made their way to Lavi’s bed. There was burning pain for Kanda at first, and for a while he wondered why anyone would engage in such unpleasurable acts, though Lavi seemed to be having a hard time restraining his pleasure enough to not hurt him. But then Lavi did something amazing, and after that the pain was like a distant dream.
There was touching, all sorts of touching everywhere, Kanda couldn’t keep his hands away from the older man’s body. Likewise, Lavi couldn’t keep his lips from raining down on Yuu’s skin, couldn’t keep his hands out of Kanda’s long, silky hair. Every touch was as gentle as possible, there was nothing harsh or hurried in their movements. This was their time to forget about the world that waited for them outside of Lavi’s room, they would treasure it.
They both knew that tomorrow, it would be as though this had never happened.
000
When Kanda returned to the okiya, he made a scene of falling and “painfully” twisting his ankle. Naturally, Lavi was called over to take a look at Yuu’s ankle, and declared that it was sprained, and that he would probably be limping for a while, but would be able to walk, because it wasn’t a bad sprain. The good doctor suggested that he stay off his feet for the time being, and Bak decided it would be best to let Kanda take a few evenings off.
Kanda was reprimanded for not being more careful, especially since it was the week of his big ceremony, but Kanda simply stated that he was getting so nervous and excited that he had failed to be cautious. Only Daisya and Komui knew what had happened, even if they hadn’t been told, but they didn’t say a thing, not even to each other. It seemed to them that accepting Tyki as his danna had been made a bit easier now, anyway. Besides, Kanda wasn’t a girl, so it wasn’t like there would be much proof of what he’d done by the end of the week.
“Just two more days now, hm? Wanna go out and have a bachelor’s party before yer big day?” Daisya asked in jest. Now that Kanda was feeling better, it was safer to make such jokes; Daisya didn’t have to worry about Kanda stabbing him with a kanzashi and then falling into a spiral of depression.
“I hate parties,” Kanda said in a displeased voice that held little venom.
“A little ironic then, considering you entertain at them,” Komui pointed out as he placed that damnable lotus comb into Kanda’s hair.
“That’s why I hate them.”
000
Kanda was for once not wearing the crimson layers that Komui had always preferred to dress him in, but was instead wearing layers of white and gold and only the barest hints of his preferred color. It was that day. Kanda touched up his mask a bit before leaving his room.
Everyone was so happy today, it sort of irked Kanda because he wasn’t quite sure why they were happy. Sure, a few of them were genuinely happy that he was succeeding in their business, but he was pretty sure that the ones that had disliked him ever since the beginning were probably just happy to be rid of him. Then of course, there were the two with the bittersweet feelings, and the redhead who had not even bothered to show up for the occasion. Kanda was glad he hadn’t, they would’ve done something stupid if he had.
Kanda felt so much like a bride that the embarrassment was starting to seem like a mild torture. The ceremony was far too much like a wedding ceremony for his liking, and he didn’t really care for how permanent this all felt. Still, as annoyingly painful as this would all seem as soon as what was happening really hit him, at the moment Kanda was feeling something close to numb.
Outwardly, he tried to look happy and pleased, and if his colleagues’ reactions to him were any indication, he was doing a pretty decent job of it. He didn’t miss the worried glances that Daisya and Komui shot him every so often.
000
By the next day, Kanda was completely moved out of the okiya. He’d tried to drag out the process, but somehow everything still got moved so quickly. It was unsettling, the pace with which one could uproot their own life. He had spent his last night at the okiya awake with Komui and Daisya, and the two dwelled in nostalgia as he kept quietly to himself, just soaking in their presences. He didn’t get much of a “goodbye” from Lavi; on his way out of the okiya, he looked back one final time and saw the man leaning in the doorway, clearly pained.
It had been so hard to look away.
Tyki’s home was built in a more western style, and was easily twice the size of the okiya. There were three floors, the bottom-most of which were used by the live-in servants, and also had the dining room, library, a large party area, and the kitchens. The top floor was almost exclusively used by Tyki, and now, Yuu. Kanda supposed the second floor was for guests or something, but he couldn’t imagine why Tyki would need so many extra rooms. He had nearly gotten lost a few times during the tour when he lingered a minute too long in a room or corridor.
Just because Tyki was his danna, did not mean he got any physical reward for this, it was not a geisha’s way to give such rewards for financial support. Basically, the only way Tyki was getting anything was if Kanda felt like giving it up, which was very unlikely. Tyki knew this, respected it, and was just as much of a gentleman towards Kanda as he ever had been. Kanda was thankful for this, very, very thankful.
Still, it would be a stretch to say he was happy here. Kanda was practically living his job now; he put his makeup and kimono on first thing in the morning-or afternoon. He found it difficult to get out of the habit of waking up at twelve like he had for the past 6 years. He used to get home at insanely late hours of the night, of course he slept late. That was fine though, as Tyki left early, so it wasn’t as if there was any reason for him to be up until dusk.
Despite the fact that Kanda was a geisha and therefore had learned how to act sociably the same way one might learn math, he was not a naturally social person. It was hard to be in an unfamiliar house with people he didn’t know, most of which were foreigners who assumed he was simply their master’s stuck-up...mistress... or something of the like. He wondered if any of them even realized he was male.
Kanda knew that if he bothered to try, he could easily charm most of the staff, but he simply didn’t want to be around other people. He didn’t want to make new friends. He didn’t want to adjust. He wanted to be home. He felt quite miserable on the inside, but the moment his danna returned home from a long day of tiresome work, there he was, all smirks and sarcasm and mysteriously soothing.
000
It took months for Kanda to work up the courage to visit his old okiya, the same way it had taken him a long time to get himself to visit Lavi’s home. Kanda asked to be woken up early one morning so that he would be able to spend as much time with Daisya and Komui as he could before they left for their evening appointments. He’d seen them a few times at meetings and parties, but it wasn’t as though they could have proper conversations at those times. He felt like he would become a stranger to them if he didn’t visit soon.
So, Kanda arrived at the okiya in the subdued kimonos of a full-fledged geisha who no longer needed elaborate robes to make himself look attractive. Bak and Fou greeted him warmly, and he was told that Daisya and Komui had just woken up. Kanda decided it would be best to surprise them by waiting for them at the breakfast table, rather than going into their rooms to wake them. Besides, he didn’t want to see what his old room looked like now. He wondered if Daisya had moved his stuff into Kanda’s side of the room, or if it was still barren.
Kanda had sat with his back to the door, but Daisya had recognized him right away anyway, and had hugged him with enough vigor to send them both to the floor.
“KAN-CHAN! You’re back, you’re back! Good God, I gotta get Komui, he’s gonna freak!” Daisya exclaimed while squeezing the air out of Kanda’s lungs as if he were a tube of toothpaste. Despite the older boy’s words about getting their onii-san, he did not leave or let go of Kanda until Komui came into the dining room himself and repeated all of Daisya’s earlier actions. A moment later, Lenalee heard the ruckus the two older men were making and came in. She added tears to the mix, and after five minutes of intense hugging, Kanda could no longer breathe and was starting to question why he had come here, and why everyone seemed to have gotten the urge to smother him to death.
“So what’s yer danna’s place like, Kan-chan?” Daisy asked once everyone had calmed down, because as much as everyone would’ve loved to have avoided the subject, there wasn’t much more they could ask Kanda about. Besides, they were worried. What if their dear imouto-chan was being mistreated and had returned home to escape his abusive danna? What if Tyki was unexpectedly cheap and he was living in a shed or something?
“It’s big, western... there are a lot of servants, but otherwise he lives alone. His relatives come by for extended visits often though, he’s got an entire floor for them to live in.” Currently, the man’s second youngest cousin, Allen, Kanda believed his name was, was taking up residence on the second floor. Allen and Kanda exchanged witty banter over meals because neither of them had much to do while Tyki was out. They found out quite quickly that they rather hated each other, and tended to stay on their own floors. When Haruka had heard about the whole deal, he too had made a “friendly visit” to the house. That was mortifying.
“Does he treat you well? He doesn’t seem like a cruel man, but it wouldn’t be the first time that someone put on airs for the sake of looking kind,” Komui said, also worried for his beloved little sister’s well-being.
“He’s out most of the day for work, but he’s kind enough when he gets home. It’s like free-loading off a close friend, really.” Kanda also wanted to add that feeling like a free-loader annoyed the hell out of him, and he wished that he could help someone do something so that he could feel like he was earning his keep. The servants wouldn’t allow him to lift a finger, despite the fact that he’d spent three years working as a maid of sorts at the okiya and was perfectly fine with doing chores.
Nothing of significance had happened to Kanda since he’d left, so the conversation quickly changed to what had happened in the okiya since he’d moved out. The place was as lively as ever, it seemed. Before Kanda had left, a few more shikomi had come in, and they were both so awkward and excited, and mischievous too, they caused no end of trouble it seemed. Daisya found it entertaining, Komui was once again taking over that big brother role that he was so perfect for, and Lenalee seemed to be turning into a mother hen type.
Kanda was thankful to see that not much had changed, but there was one thing about their stories that was glaringly obvious. Lavi was not involved in any of them. That was unusual, seeing as the redhead had all but lived in the okiya before Kanda had left, so for him to just stop coming there was bizarre. At first, Kanda just figured that the three were just cutting the redhead out of the stories so that he wouldn’t get upset, but after a while he realized that there was simply no news on Lavi.
So, without really thinking about it, Kanda blurted out the question that had been plaguing his mind. “What’s going on with Lavi?”
There was a moment of awkward silence, where no one could say a thing. Then Lenalee, the only one who didn’t quite know just how deep the issue ran, spoke up.
“He hasn’t come by at all in the last month or so...stopped coming after you left. We still visit him when we can, but he’s gotten a whole lot busier suddenly. We’ve invited him over plenty of times but he just...won’t come here.” Lenalee looked to the floor, hurt plain in her features. She didn’t understand why the redhead was suddenly pushing them all away.
Kanda immediately felt guilty. It was all his fault, wasn’t it? Sure, he hadn’t had a choice in leaving, but it was because he had left that Lavi didn’t visit anymore, wasn’t it? Kanda knew he was depressed because of the separation, but he didn’t think it was fair that everyone else had to feel the same.
000
Lavi was sitting on his back porch, staring into the okiya’s yard the way he had always done when he didn’t have enough time to make a proper visit. Lavi did actually have time for that today, but he just couldn’t bring himself to go back there so soon. Just looking into the yard was painful, but he couldn’t help it. This was the way he’d first found Kanda, and some part of him hoped that maybe he would see Yuu standing there again, and selfishly hoped that Kanda might look saddened after going for months without seeing him.
And then, like a dream, it happened. Lavi closed his eyes, sighed at his own hopelessness, and hung his head for a moment. When he looked back into the yard, however, who should he see but the very man he had hoped to find? He looked just as Lavi imagined he would, with the exception that the real Kanda was looking around curiously.
Before he could even think about what he was doing, Lavi was running into the yard, and practically tackling Kanda to the ground.
“Holy shi-! La-Lavi?!” Kanda coughed twice, and rubbed the back of his head. “Che, be more careful, I’ve got a head full of sharp objects and it wouldn’t take much to put one through my skull! Or are you trying to kill me with my own kanzashi?”
Lavi apologized profusely, but didn’t bother to do more than sit up, bringing Yuu up with him. Lavi held him close and smoothed over the back of his hair. “I missed you so much,” he whispered into the young boy’s ear with a sigh, it felt so good to breathe in Yuu’s scent again.
“Yeah, I noticed,” Kanda replied a bit flatly. It wasn’t that he wasn’t excited to see Lavi again, he was sure the nervousness and the fluttering feeling that he always got when around Lavi would come in due time. At the moment though, there was a shooting pain in the back of his skull that was making him feel less-than-personable for the time being. That, and he’d been speaking in sarcasm for months now, it was sort of difficult to get out of the habit.
Lavi pouted at the tone of voice Kanda used. Maybe he was the only one that was excited right now? Maybe Kanda was happy with this Tyki person that Lavi had heard so much about, and no longer had feelings of the romantic nature towards Lavi.
“Glad to see you’re so enthused,” Lavi said dryly, his expression souring a bit. Kanda realized where Lavi’s mind was going immediately, and quickly corrected his mistake by standing and pulling Lavi up with him, then dragging the older man out of the okiya’s yard and into his own. Once they were hidden from view, Kanda shyly pulled Lavi to him for a kiss, which quickly turned desperate and needy. It wasn’t their faults that they hadn’t seen each other in months.
Kanda gently pushed Lavi away when he needed to breathe; strange, he could’ve sworn he’d been better at breathing through a kiss than that... Surely, this was the result of living with a chain smoker for months. Yuu held in a snort when he saw that some of his lipstick had gotten onto Lavi’s lips.
“That shade of red complements your skin well,” he said with a hint of sarcasm. Lavi touched his lips and felt the residue there, blushing just a bit. Kanda wasn’t used to seeing Lavi blush, so he made sure to commit the image to memory, smirking all the while. A genuine smirk, not his work one.
After that, the two moved into the tea room, staying in an open area to make sure that they didn’t get carried away. For a good long while the two of them just sat and talked, about anything and everything, the same way they used to before everything got messed up and they realized that everything must come to an end.
“So why did you stop visiting the okiya, Lavi? Everyone misses you there, you know,” Kanda asked, hoping that he could at least do this for everyone.
“It’s just...hard to be there,” Lavi said, pain masking his face. “I go there and remember sitting on the porch talking to you, watching you and Daisya get dressed for the evening, playing around when we were kids... And you’re not there anymore. It hurts, and I’m a coward who can’t get over that.”
Kanda felt both embarrassed and guilty; so it really was his fault. He had to fix this, he couldn’t let Lavi just cut the okiya out of his life this way. But what would he say to Lavi to convince him that memories of himself shouldn’t keep Lavi away from the okiya?
“Che, you really are a coward. Everyone there misses you and you can’t even find it in yourself to go back every once in a while? So now that I’m gone you don’t have the time for anyone else?” Kanda shook his head, looking disappointed. Lavi was mildly offended.
“Hey! You act like I’m the only one feeling that way! Aren’t you the one who spent three months debating over coming back? You’re just as bad as I am!”
“No, you’re worse. See, it might’ve taken me three months, but at least I came back, unlike a certain redhead.” Kanda looked away with an air of superiority, sticking his nose up just a bit. Lavi huffed, and then pouted. Kanda inwardly congratulated himself; baiting Lavi to anger seemed to be getting him somewhere.
“Fine then, I suck, happy now? But for your information, I have been really busy lately anyway, I don’t have as much time to visit anymore!” Lavi said in his defense. Kanda raised an eyebrow as a cue for Lavi to continue with his excuse-making.
“I’m working hard so that I can stabilize my income. Even though it feels permanent, relations between a geisha and a danna don’t always last forever. Someday Tyki will find some gal-or guy-that he really gets to know, instead of someone’s pretty business face. He’ll fall in love with that person for real, and he’ll give you up. That is when I’ll swoop down and take you for myself, but if I wanna do that then I’ve gotta work!”
“How do you know that will happen?” Kanda asked, wondering why Lavi sounded so sure of all this. He felt even guiltier now, so everything really was his fault and there didn’t seem to be much he could do about it. He could goad Lavi into getting over his own inner pain, but he couldn’t tease the man until he gave up on working.
“Because, I bet that when yer with that guy, you act like your geisha self, and not your real self. Whatever he’s infatuated with, it isn’t you, so he can’t really love you. But I know the real you, and I love the real you... If you feel the same way, then there ain’t a thing that can keep you away from me forever.”
Kanda found it impossible not to blush. Of this he wasn’t absolutely sure, but never had either of them ever said that ever-so-power “L” word to the other seriously, not even that last time they’d really seen each other. How did he respond to that? It hadn’t been covered in his training, and even if it had been, Kanda would never bother with some learned technique for dealing with love-struck customers when talking to Lavi.
“I...”
“Don’t worry ‘bout saying anything Yuu, I know you’re not the best with tender words,” Lavi said. Kanda blushed a shade darker, but didn’t try to say anything after that. A moment of comfortable silence passed between them.
“Go back to the okiya... please. Just every once in a while,” Kanda said in a whisper, breaking the silence. Lavi noted the change in tone and gave Yuu a strange look.
“Well, how could I not when you ask so sweetly?” Lavi said, and leaned over the table to kiss him again.
000
Kanda was still in a pleasant daze when he returned home just an hour before he knew Tyki would. He wanted to check his robs to make sure everything was still where it was supposed to be, and he definitely had to touch up his makeup... As he suspected, the kyo beni had been stolen from his lips…
The hour passed by quickly, as thoughts of Lavi and the okiya danced around his head. Why had he left there again? Why hadn’t he just said it was too soon to move in together or something, and stayed at the okiya? With Lavi? His job didn’t really mean so much to him, when he compared it to how much he cared for the people at the okiya (even if he never did tell them out loud just how much they meant to him).
Kanda sighed as he moved away from the vanity, picking up the book he’d taken out of Tyki’s personal library. Just as he had settled down on his bed and opened it up, someone knocked on the door. Kanda called for the person to come in, and a butler poked his head in to tell Kanda that Tyki was in the drive. Kanda nodded in dismissal, and stood back up.
A few moments later, Kanda met Tyki in the front room, which was large, beautiful, and doubled as a ballroom. The older man looked just as worn as he did any time he came back from work, so Kanda put on his sympathetic face, and helped Tyki out of his jacket. Kanda let his hands linger just a bit longer than necessary on Tyki’s shoulders; Komui had called doing little things like this fan service for the customer, they relished in those little, extra touches and boy, did Kanda know it.
“Another rewarding day of hard work?” Kanda asked, his voice peppered with light sarcasm. Tyki sighed and rolled his eyes at the question.
“Oh, it was indeed hard work, business meetings with the higher-ups are always such a pain. If only there were rewards for dealing with that fat bastard of a C.E.O.,” Tyki replied, teasing Kanda with his tone near the end. Demurely, Kanda looked away, while he inwardly thanked God that Tyki didn’t actually act on his desires, which were oh-so-transparent sometimes.
“Maybe you’ll get lucky someday,” Kanda said with a tone that said that would most likely never, ever happen, but that Tyki could still hope if he really wanted to.
“Thanks for the hope-inspiring words,” Tyki said with some good-natured sarcasm.
“Any time.”
The two men made their way to the dining room, where supper would no doubt be waiting for them. In the room, already seated at the table was Allen, who was politely waiting for their arrival. He and Kanda exchanged glares the moment their eyes locked. Tyki sat across from his cousin, while Kanda sat to his right. The first course was served, and slowly the three eased into a conversation.
“You were gone for a while today,” Allen said, not accusing or rudely, just curiously. The boy was very good at being polite to people he didn’t like; Kanda couldn’t help but think that he’d have made a great geisha. Really, Allen had the looks and the personality for the job... Kanda scrunched his nose a bit at the idea of having to work with that guy. “So where’d you go?”
“I visited my okiya,” Kanda said simply. For a moment Tyki looked guiltily over to him. Kanda knew that Tyki had worried about taking him from his okiya so soon, they’d had that conversation before, but Kanda had assured the man that he was fine with it. Which, now that he looked back on it, was completely idiotic of him, but sometimes his mask talks for him, says the things he should even when he doesn’t want to.
“Oh, did you have a nice visit, Misaki-chan?” Allen asked, Tyki nodded in agreement with the question. Kanda couldn’t imagine why Allen was so curious about what he’d done that day. He also realized that he sorely missed being called by his real name; he’d been “Misaki-chan” for months now. Hearing his old “family” call him “Kan-chan” and “Yuu-chan” and all of those other little nicknames that he used to hate so much had seemed so wonderful today.
Kanda replied with a monosyllable answer, intended to indicate a yes. The subject soon changed from him to Allen; apparently, the reason the boy was here was because he was attending school in the city, and would be living at Tyki’s house for the school year. School started in a week for him.
“The campus is so huge, I’m going to be getting lost there for weeks...” Allen sighed out. There had been a campus tour that afternoon, and apparently Allen had been awed by the school’s size, structure, everything really.
“Well, you never were the best with things like that,” Tyki said simply, sipping at his soup.
“Vertically challenged and directionally challenged, hm?” Kanda added, smirking just a bit. Allen huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Better to be directionally challenged, rather than gender confused.”
“I don’t think it would be too farfetched to say you’re both, Moyashi-chan.” Allen gave Kanda a seething glare, which was downplayed by the pout and blush the boy was sporting.
“Alright children, play nice now,” Tyki said, rolling his eyes at their childish antics. Kanda, of course, didn’t want to back down, but he decided to listen to his danna and quietly continued to eat his meal. Allen gave Kanda a disapproving look; Kanda was pretty sure that the reason Allen had disliked him right off the bat was because Kanda did what Tyki told him to.
Allen had spent enough time around Kanda while Tyki wasn’t around to know that given the choice, Kanda wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to, so maybe the kid was just annoyed because Kanda was going against his own nature? But then, Kanda had a sense of duty toward his job, or more accurately his debt. He had to work hard and be the best to cover what was left of it, even if that meant bowing out of a verbal battle or two.
000
Tyki Mikk was the kind of man who always got what he wanted, no matter what it was. Knowing this about the man, Kanda was not surprised to find himself waking up in Tyki’s bed one morning with a pounding headache and sore lower body. If anyone were to ask why he had finally given in and let the older man have his way, and if Kanda were to answer honestly, he would say it was a mix of two things; the alcohol and the acute pang of loneliness he had felt after seeing Lavi under some unsavory conditions.
The drinking had been his fault, it wasn’t as though Tyki had purposely gotten him drunk, as far as he could remember, Tyki had not forced him into anything at all. But it was seeing Lavi while at work that was what made him dive for the sake time after time.
Why Lavi and the now-retired Doctor had been their at all was a mystery to him, he hadn’t been paying attention when it was explained to him. All Kanda knew was that he was going to have to actually act like a geisha-Tyki’s geisha- in front of Lavi. How was he supposed to act close to someone else when Lavi was right there and hardly managing to conceal his jealousy?
And so Kanda had done the one thing any good geisha knows never to do; he got drunk off the sake he himself was serving, hoping that if he was a bit buzzed, he wouldn’t be able to feel that lone green eye penetrating him anymore. He got Tyki drunk too, though that was because he hoped to get the man so shit-faced that he wouldn’t notice if Yuu slipped up and said or did something that could be seen wrong.
So when they arrived back at the mansion drunk and Tyki drunkenly asked “Misaki” to go to bed with him, Misaki had drunkenly answered yes, because Tyki had been a good danna who had always put up with his prudence and sarcasm. Maybe the man did deserve a reward or something? Besides, he was feeling ridiculously alone after seeing Lavi. Whatever his reasoning was, Kanda found he could not get himself to think that way while sober. Sober and annoyingly hung over.
That’s why it was clearly the alcohol and Lavi’s faults. It was Lavi’s fault he’d been drinking in the first place-he didn’t even like to drink- and the alcohol’s fault that he’d given in to his danna. If Lavi hadn’t been there, so close but completely unattainable, Kanda wouldn’t have felt lonely enough to sleep with Tyki. But no matter what he blamed, Yuu still felt rather disgusted with himself.
So Kanda had taken the walk of shame down the hall to the grand bath chambers of the house to take a much-needed shower; he felt outrageously dirty. When he had finally gotten around to doing his hair and makeup for the day, he found himself being extra meticulous with both, after all he didn’t want to look as hung-over as he felt. Breakfast, or rather lunch, with Allen had been an incredibly awkward affair; the boy refused to look him in the eyes, and he was flushed up to his virgin ears, which had heard just a bit too much the night before.
Kanda rolled his eyes at the younger boy’s reaction, and ate quietly. Well, today was going to suck. He had planned to visit the okiya today, but he definitely wouldn’t be able to face his peers or Lavi after the mess he’d made of himself the night before. So goes the morning after…
000
The more Kanda visited the okiya and Lavi, the more conflicted he felt about his situation. He wanted to be back home already, but he couldn’t do much more than visit during the afternoons. He didn’t do that very often either, because it despite how he’d chastised Lavi for avoiding the place, it really was difficult to visit the okiya and know that he didn’t live there anymore. But at least that was an issue that was slowly getting resolved. Every time Kanda dropped by he was told some story or other about what Lavi had done last time he’d visited.
Kanda sighed as he sat up in his bed. He still hadn’t gotten used to going to sleep before midnight, and at the moment it was an hour to 12. He couldn’t sleep, and it seemed he was hungry, if the low rumbling coming from the general area of his stomach was anything to go by. Muttering under his breath about getting fat from having too many midnight snacks as of late, Kanda got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed the book off of his night stand, deciding that he would read for a bit while he waited for his noodles to cook.
His plans for a peaceful evening snack were crushed when he saw a certain white-haired brat in the kitchen, with far more food than could be healthy stacked around him. Kanda raised his eyebrows at the sheer amount of food on the table, while Allen stared at a Kanda who was without makeup and a kimono.
“Um...Misaki-chan?” Kanda felt a bit thrown off, being called Misaki when he wasn’t dressed as a geisha. Allen looked surprised to find that under the makeup and the layers of robs, Kanda did actually have masculine features. Heck, he was surprised that Kanda wore pants to bed and not some elegant, flowing yukata. Actually, Kanda had only started wearing more masculine clothes after his brother had lent him some when they went out together. Pants were nice, they were warm, comfortable, and he could take full steps in them without having to worry about tripping.
Kanda looked away from Allen and walked towards the pantry; it was too late at night to start anything with the kid. Allen seemed to share that sentiment, and went back to eating until Kanda sat down at the table.
“You really annoy me sometimes,” Allen said. Kanda sighed feeling aggravated, and leaned back in his chair.
“Do you want me to stab you with a kanzashi? Because I will shank you and I will enjoy myself while doing so.”
“I’m not trying to start a fight with you, Misaki-chan, I’m just stating a fact. Seriously, sometimes it seems like if Tyki asked you to jump, you’d ask “how high?” How can you stand to just let someone boss you around like that? You don’t have strong feelings for him either, how could you make yourself …uh …share a bed with him?” Allen stared at Kanda intently, waiting for an answer. Kanda sighed and rolled his eyes in exasperation.
“Doing what my danna tells me to is part of the job. And for the record, I would not jump if anyone asked me to, Tyki-san included,” Kanda said, and completely disregarded the second half of the boy’s question; Allen was probably too naïve to understand the concept of drunken sex without emotions.
Really, it wasn’t as though a geisha was his danna’s slave, if anything, geisha just indulged them. Kanda could easily say “no” to whatever he wanted to, but it was his job to act pleasant.
“Why on earth would a person like you choose a job like this, then?” Kanda looked at Allen like he was crazy. This child was seriously naïve if he thought everyone just got to pick what they did for a living.
“Tell me child, are you all right in the head? What on earth would make you think I chose this? I was sold by my drunkard father when I was seven; I wasn’t exactly given career options.” Kanda didn’t exactly care that he was giving out information about his past to someone he hardly knew, and who he knew he hated. If that little revelation could chip away even a fragment of Allen’s naïvety, Kanda would be content; he hated naïve people.
Allen immediately looked deeply sympathetic, which Kanda also hated. He gave the younger boy a glower that clearly said “don’t you give me that look.” Allen cut down on the sympathy, but found that he couldn’t look Kanda in the eye anymore.
“I-I’m sorry...I suppose I shouldn’t have judged you without knowing your circumstances.”
“Damn straight you shouldn’t have. Whatever, I don’t care about it anymore, I’m content with the life I lead. Now shut up and let me eat.” Kanda was thankful that he was eating cold-served soba, because if he hadn’t started with a cold dish, well, it would’ve ended up as one anyway.
“One more question though,” Allen said quickly. Kanda’s chopsticks stopped half-way to his mouth. He scowled and looked up at Allen.
“What?”
“You’re...not really happy here at all, are you? I mean, you always look happier leaving this house than you ever do coming back. You don’t want to be here at all, do you?” Kanda’s grip on his chopsticks went slack and they fell to his plate. How? How had this...this kid, who barely knew him at all, read through his mask so easily? Something in his expression must’ve given him away, because Allen continued on.
“I figured as much. Tyki is kind to you, and you seem to get along just fine but...you do not want to be with him like this at all. You want to be back at your okiya, with the people you really care about. If you just told Tyki, I’m sure he’d let you g-”
“Don’t even say that,” Kanda said, stopping Allen mid-sentence. “For a geisha... to have a danna... is a great honor, a great accomplishment, and I am thankful, I am not going to be selfish.”
Kanda so wished he could be though.
000
Kanda was seventeen now, a year had passed since he’d moved in with Tyki, and he was finally starting to feel settled. But the mansion still felt cold to him, cold and empty. He lived for those days when he could visit the warm and inviting okiya he had once lived in. It was becoming harder and harder to see Lavi; apparently he was moonlighting as the school nurse at Allen’s school. It was a swanky private academy so the pay was good, which was a good thing for both Lavi and Kanda.
Yuu had heard this through Allen, who had decided it would be a good idea to reunite the two “old friends” by bringing Kanda to school with him. Needless to say, Kanda had spent the day in the infirmary; he had never imagined himself doing anything so shameless in a nurse’s office until then…
Tyki seemed to realize that their drunkenly fooling around meant nothing, and he had acted as though nothing had happened for a long while. Then Tyki had slowly started to change, it was like he was trying to distance himself from Kanda. Yuu didn’t mind, of course, but it was still a curious thing, still something to be concerned about.
One particularly stormy day, when Tyki returned home, Kanda met him at his coach, an umbrella in hand. Tyki thanked him and took the umbrella from him, and they went into the warm mansion.
“Misaki, I need to talk with you about something,” Tyki said, and led Kanda too his room. Tyki was acting strangely, and it made Kanda uncomfortable. Still, he did his best to grin and bear it; metaphorically speaking, of course, Yuu didn’t grin. Tyki motioned for Kanda to take a seat, and he did, giving the older man a questioning look.
“I’m letting you go, you can return to your okiya any time you want.”
Kanda stared at Tyki in disbelief. Had he really just said that? Was he really going to get to go back home? Yuu felt positively elated, if not somewhat confused. Sure, he was happy, happier than he had been all year, but this seemed so random.
“Um...Why, might I ask?”
“Because, you simply aren’t happy here, you aren’t happy with me at all, as loathe as I am to admit it.”
“When did I ever make it seem like I was unhappy here?” Kanda asked. He wasn’t angry or indignant, and he also didn’t sound ridiculously overjoyed either, he was just curious.
“You didn’t, a little bird told me so. Said little bird also hinted that you had some dubious connection with his school’s nurse, but that’s completely beside the point.”
Kanda didn’t know whether he should kill Allen or hug him. Ok, so it was thanks to the odd-looking brat that he was going to go home, finally, but there was no reason for him to tell Tyki about Lavi, either. Then again, there had been no need for Kanda to tell Allen that he did in fact have someone at the okiya waiting for him; he knew the kid was smart enough to put two and two together when Allen had seen his “reunion” with Lavi, but naturally he hadn’t cared at the time.
“You know, you didn’t need to come here if you didn’t want to,” Tyki said. He didn’t seem offended by the idea at all; on the contrary he was acting more like himself than he had in weeks. Kanda breathed a small sigh of relief at this.
“I...suppose I could’ve,” Kanda admitted. Kanda stood and respectfully bowed his head to Tyki. “I apologize for all of the trouble I’ve caused you. Thank you for having me.”
“No trouble at all,” Tyki said, dismissing the notion with a wave of his hand. Then he looked at Kanda with the same admiring eyes he’d always worn, though they were now tinged with sadness. “But...there is one thing I’d like to know before you leave for good.”
“What is it?”
“What is your real name? If I can’t have you, can I at least have that?” Kanda face flushed at the comment, but he conceded, after all it was the least he could do after breaking the poor man’s heart.
“It’s Kanda. Kanda Yuu.”
000
When Kanda walked into Bak’s office, he was met not by the blond man or his assistant, but by Lavi, who looked very much like the cat that caught the canary.
“You sure do look smug, Lavi-san,” Tyki said, looking rather displeased as he walked in after Kanda. Yuu gave both of them a curious look.
“Lavi’s here?” Kanda questioned aloud, for he saw no real reason for the redhead to be in the room with them, instead of Bak or Fou.
“Of course,” Tyki said, “he’s here so that the two of us can work out the transaction that will take place between us to make him your new danna.” Kanda covered his mouth to stop himself from gaping in shock or smiling too widely, but it was clear from the look in his eyes that he was positively ecstatic. Once he regained his composure, he moved back to sit by the wall while the two worked out a deal that would give Kanda the happiness he wanted.
000
This time when the ceremony date came around, Kanda really did feel excited. Komui and Daisya were the first to know that he was back, of course, and they were almost as happy as he was when they heard that he would be switching dannas. Together, the three of them quickly moved Kanda back into his old room. Allen pitched in too, taking the chance to get to know the inhabitants of the okiya. They absolutely loved him. Kanda hoped the kid wouldn’t start hanging around the okiya after school or something... Though, he supposed he wouldn’t mind so much.
The ceremony was so much happier than Kanda remembered it being. Even his brother managed to make it down in time for it. Kanda once again felt like he was getting married, which was still mortifying, but at least now he was happy with it. It took long enough, but he was finally getting what he wanted.
“So, ya plan to follow me home, eh Yuu?” Lavi asked, once it was all over. Kanda nodded, acting as though he had every right to do whatever he wanted now; it sort of felt like he did.
“It’s only midday, what would you have me do, go back to my room and sleep?”
“Well, if that’s what ya wanted to do, sure. Personally, I’m more fond of the plan where you come to my place though.”
“Then don’t complain.” Kanda and Lavi reached the fence, and Lavi stepped over first, acting like a gentleman as he helped Kanda across too; his ornate clothes made it rather difficult to do anything more than take baby steps. Even with Lavi’s help, Kanda still stumbled just enough to fall into Lavi’s chest. The redhead couldn’t tell if that was planned or not.
“I’d never dream of it,” Lavi said jokingly, and pulled Kanda close to him. The younger boy just looked too irresistible at the moment, so even though they were out in the open, Lavi didn’t even try to stop himself from kissing Yuu. Besides, Kanda was his now, he could do that, even if still wasn’t exactly decent. When he pulled away, he opened his eyes to see a blushing Kanda biting his bottom lip.
“You’ve got no idea how happy I am right now Yuu.”
“I think I might have a clue.”
“Well, now that that’s settled,” Lavi started, as he suddenly and swiftly picked Yuu up bridal style, “come to bed with me, Yuu.”
“L-Lavi!” Kanda hid his burning face in Lavi’s kimono, but made no move to escape. “You’re so indecent!”
“I s’pose so. Still, I told you, didn’t I,” Lavi said, as he walked towards his house, “nothing could keep us apart long. I love you, Yuu, and I’m glad I didn’t give up on that.”
Kanda was embarrassed and at the same time, very overwhelmed by Lavi’s feelings. Slowly, he nodded.
“I’m glad you didn’t give up, too.”
Lavi’s wasn’t certain of it, but he was pretty sure that he heard Kanda mutter “I love you, too” into his chest.